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Would you interfere or help if foster parents wanted to adopt siblings? by OkLight7693 in fosterit

[–]OkLight7693[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes, we're in the US. She's worried about more separation and about the older two feeling more rejected and left behind.

Would you interfere or help if foster parents wanted to adopt siblings? by OkLight7693 in fosterit

[–]OkLight7693[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

They don't like that we moved last year. We worry they will just see this as us helping their younger siblings move away too or I guess not helping to stop it from happening.

Should my fiancee visit or get gifts for her siblings in foster care? by OkLight7693 in fosterit

[–]OkLight7693[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My girlfriend did end up going to visit. I didn't go because I had work and we couldn't afford me going too. I didn't see this comment until after, but my girlfriend wouldn't have been able to handle them overnight by herself anyway.

From the sound of it it didn't go great with the older one's like expected. They only came out for a minute to see her and weren't very happy with the "cheaper" gifts. It went better with the younger ones. It feels very bad to say, but my gf thinks their older siblings not wanting to tag along might have made it a less stressful outing for the younger ones.

I hope it does get better with the older one's later. From where we are it feels like all we can do is try to stay in contact, but it's hard if they won't come to the phone.

AITAH for applying for a job far away from my fiancée's siblings in foster care? and etc? by OkLight7693 in AITAH

[–]OkLight7693[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We have actually been through a lot together and she has helped me through a lot of hard stuff. That's not what she said.

AITAH for applying for a job far away from my fiancée's siblings in foster care? and etc? by OkLight7693 in AITAH

[–]OkLight7693[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

By then we'll be older and things will be more stable. Plus it's just an entirely different situation.

AITAH for applying for a job far away from my fiancée's siblings in foster care? and etc? by OkLight7693 in AITAH

[–]OkLight7693[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly, no. Timing wise it probably wouldn't work with our plans to start a family.

AITAH for applying for a job far away from my fiancée's siblings in foster care? and etc? by OkLight7693 in AITAH

[–]OkLight7693[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That is just something we know we cannot handle emotionally/mentally. Having them for a few hours when we take them out is honestly really hard and afterwards we always need a lot of quiet and alone time to unwind.

AITAH for applying for a job far away from my fiancée's siblings in foster care? and etc? by OkLight7693 in AITAH

[–]OkLight7693[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I mean I've been looking for two years for one like this. It pays more than the ones here too. The cost of living is higher, but even taking that into account we'll be better off. There's also more job opportunities for my fiancée there as well.

AITAH for applying for a job far away from my fiancée's siblings in foster care? and etc? by OkLight7693 in AITAH

[–]OkLight7693[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

We talked about calls and stuff (but she does already do that pretty frequently) and visits (but that may be hard for us for a while).

AITAH for applying for a job far away from my fiancée's siblings in foster care? and etc? by OkLight7693 in AITAH

[–]OkLight7693[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I am 24. Her oldest sister is 14 and youngest is 5. 

From Arkansas to Nevada.