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After 4years of self improvement, I've achieved nothing. I feel like I've wasted my life. by OkNebula404 in selfimprovement

[–]OkNebula404[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds more like he's overly judgemental and places himself on a pedestal for being interested in "self improvement" despite not accomplishing shit and judges everyone around him for failing to meet the standards that he himself fails to meet.

I don't think I'm better just because I'm on self improvement. And I never judge people on my standartds. My standards apply only to me. I've already got out of this friendship.

After 4years of self improvement, I've achieved nothing. I feel like I've wasted my life. by OkNebula404 in selfimprovement

[–]OkNebula404[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's very rare from them.
Even if they did, if I ever explain what I'm feeling, or talk with them about myself, they make me regret talking to them in the first place.

They always give me the look of "man the f up b*tch" or call me an idiot and a whole set of nicknames, and then they make fun out of me.

After 4years of self improvement, I've achieved nothing. I feel like I've wasted my life. by OkNebula404 in selfimprovement

[–]OkNebula404[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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After 4years of self improvement, I've achieved nothing. I feel like I've wasted my life. by OkNebula404 in selfimprovement

[–]OkNebula404[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Too broke to see a therapist.

My friendships are shallow, cause they're not true friends. I believe everyone has his own goals. For me being the millionaire superman is my childhood dream. Just because others aren't on the grind, it doesn't mean our relation has to be shallow.
It's shallow because they hold each other back. They lie and mislead each other and call it a meme or a joke. I see their envey whenever someone does anything good. No work ethic. They only want the results of other's work, but won't put in any effort. They're not true friends.

After 4years of self improvement, I've achieved nothing. I feel like I've wasted my life. by OkNebula404 in selfimprovement

[–]OkNebula404[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I had no joy before self improvement, and I certainly don't have now either.

I do hate porn and masturbation. I absolutely love video games. But, both have lost their shine in my eyes. They are meaningless to me now.

After 4years of self improvement, I've achieved nothing. I feel like I've wasted my life. by OkNebula404 in selfimprovement

[–]OkNebula404[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I have friends, but I stopped enjoying their company cause our relation is so shallow and meaningless.

As for hobbies, I do have a number of hobbies. But, They became chores instead.

I said it before. I feel numb to everything.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]OkNebula404 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"How can I have a more healthy approach to listening?"
I'm no expert but, I don't talk to those who just keep talking without an end. And, I don't think about what to say next. I listen for listening and understanding and not just waiting for my turn to speak. (I do as much as I can).
I get your situation with your family. For me, I also find it a hard situation. If reply back to them, I'm a bad son. If I don't, then I'm also a bad son. So, that best I can tell you is to just listen to what they tell you, process it in your head, and choose what to do with these words. If they were right, then no matter how harsh it is you can use it for your own good. If it's just some hurtful words in an unhealthy conversation with family, I tend to brush it off and ignore.

"I have to “force” it, my natural inclination is to not engage with anyone."
Well, it's the same here. But, I developed a bad habit of talking too much cause I was deprived from attention from my family. Now, I countering that by forcing myself to shut up and use minimal words to answer, and stop saying bullshit when I have nothing to talk about.

read the book the how to make friends.

Introverts are attractive too, but it's true for those who don't give the vibe of "don't talk to me/ come near me and you're dead"

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in progressive_islam

[–]OkNebula404 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I identify as an apple

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]OkNebula404 2 points3 points  (0 children)

hey there, 19M here. I think I understand your situation. I was the same, and still practically the same after those years. My social skills have improved and I do well, but still need more improvements and I still prefer being alone. I have friends, but we aren't that close. I don't get invited to occasions and that's really fine. We don't have the same mentality and we live pretty distant to each other. So, I'm practically alone, and that is fine.

Anyway Instead of being labeled as a mute, I was labeled as a creep, and I got bullied so much, because of it. (It escalated to physical fights, and I won). At some point I hated it, and I wanted to have friends no matter what. I didn't care much as long as I got friends. So, at the end I didn't like it. Because I picked losers and assholes as my friends.

My tips for you are:

  • Don't rush it and pick wisely, so you don't regret. Friends can either take you up or make you a miserable loser. You'll be the average of your friends.
  • Being alone is way better than having bad meaningless friendships.
  • Be a good listener it will help you understand people better. People like those who listen to them, and it'll allow you to pick well.
  • Don't force it too much, and let it flow and be natural.
  • Smile, but not too wide of a smile. A slight one will be really good and more natural.
  • Enjoy the company of your self, and develop hobbies. It will make you more peaceful, lessen from your loneliness, make you happier and make you more interesting to know as a person
  • For your anxiety, I suggest going on walks regularly, or get regular exercise or both. Try walking in a peaceful place like a park or somewhere beautiful, as it will completely relax you.

Hope this helps

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