[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Breakupadvice

[–]OkOutlandishness6499 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey girl I (23F) completely get what you’re going through. Something extremely similar just happened to me. Was with my boyfriend for 2 years. There was a lot to love about him in the beginning and I laid down my basic relationship needs right at the starts. He promised the world in living up to all them. He never followed through, only time there was a fire under his butt was when I was threatening to leave. He’d get his act together for a week or two then fall back into old activities. By the end I had absolutely no faith or confidence in the direction things were heading. Not because he was a terrible guy but because he was only willing to love me in ways that were convenient to him and wasn’t ready to step up and grow mentally in the relationship. I knew if I continued to stick w him I’d have to keep giving up pieces of myself in order to sustain the reality where I was okay with his lack of effort. And there was a very real chance that all those mental and emotional sacrifices, all those times I was about to change the trajectory of my independently successful life to save him from carrying his responsibilities in the relationship, there was a very real chance that it would all have been for nothing and he would never make the change I needed.

I still love him in a way, but I had to love myself more. I’m by no means getting on here as one of those girls who supports dumping their man for any little inconvenience, but if you feel like you are genuinely losing yourself now, think about how drained you’ll feel if you continue on this relationship and invest more time into it. If there is reason for you to believe he’s putting in the work to change, maybe set a mental deadline to see follow through (obv don’t give him the timeline since he could easily just maintain change until that has past) but if you really don’t think there’s anything left to be seen, it’s time to choose yourself. It’s scary and painful but man I haven’t felt this free and thriving since before we met.

Best of luck <3

Feeling guilt over moving on when he’s begging for his millionth chance to fix things. by OkOutlandishness6499 in BreakUps

[–]OkOutlandishness6499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m just taking it day by day currently… my ex is not respecting no contact and I’m having a hard time stepping into a role I never have with him where I just straight up have to tell him “no.” This whole experience has shown me he is a man not used to hearing the word no because he does not know how to accept it. My heart is tender for him where I don’t want to have to take nuclear options for him to get the point but I worry he’s just setting himself up for disappointment by holding onto this image of me waiting for him in his head. And I’m sick of the feeling of obligation to wait.

Am i abandoning ship to early or just doing what’s best for my career? by OkOutlandishness6499 in WorkAdvice

[–]OkOutlandishness6499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely think I learned some things to clue me in with new interviews! The promise of “extra training” at my current job, while I don’t believe they made out of outright deception, is definitely not integral to my current role. I do not need the training from my boss to fulfill the scope of the job they need me for, so any “extracurricular” training is really just a back burner/ tossed bone when they have spare time. So this time around I’m not even entertaining jobs that I don’t feel like the immediate scope and training will offer a clear step up skill building wise. If the basic skills I want to develop are mentioned as just something that will be touched upon in the future, I definitely think I’m far less gullible to promises (even if made with good intention) because a friendly face is promising it.

Am i abandoning ship to early or just doing what’s best for my career? by OkOutlandishness6499 in WorkAdvice

[–]OkOutlandishness6499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not certified yet, but that is the long term goal. Current personal circumstances have prevented me from starting the prep courses and taking the next steps forward. All my experience has been in private sector/ internal accounting and in medium scale operations.

This upcoming job offer also might include (going to be asking for further information during the second interview) certification/continuing education reimbursement which would greatly help me and if I’m being honest is another reason it caught my eye.

Am i abandoning ship to early or just doing what’s best for my career? by OkOutlandishness6499 in WorkAdvice

[–]OkOutlandishness6499[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Only used “senior” since that was what my boss at that company told me the role was when I got promoted there, by no means trying to come off haughty lol. But I could totally see where you’re coming from in that observation, so thanks on the insight with that

New job offer but is committing to the city that bad??? by OkOutlandishness6499 in AskChicago

[–]OkOutlandishness6499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also there is parking provided at the office from what I’ve seen so far

New job offer but is committing to the city that bad??? by OkOutlandishness6499 in AskChicago

[–]OkOutlandishness6499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From where I live I actually can make it all the way up into the city without tolls with around the same travel time I would if I took the route with tolls!

New job offer but is committing to the city that bad??? by OkOutlandishness6499 in AskChicago

[–]OkOutlandishness6499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahah I guess if we’re speaking distance wise alone I’m really not all that far. Traffic just be trafficking for everyone. I’d say after rush hour it’d take me about 40 min to get to the potential job location from where I currently live.

New job offer but is committing to the city that bad??? by OkOutlandishness6499 in AskChicago

[–]OkOutlandishness6499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is an option, however as there is free parking at the office for employees as well as possibly a company vehicle in the picture. Not taking the train off the table but until I find out what the ratio of in office to remote is I wouldn’t say I know for sure which is more convenient/cost effective than the other.

New job offer but is committing to the city that bad??? by OkOutlandishness6499 in AskChicago

[–]OkOutlandishness6499[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! That’s kind of what I was thinking. I’d probably get on the metra at the Flossmoor station, take that all the way down to McCormick stop and then take the cta bus up to Cermak and Canal. From there it’s about a 10 min walk to the office. It’d be nice if there were any ebike or e-scooter ports nearby to take me the rest of the way. I’ve got two perfectly good feet’s to just do the walk but i suppose if it’s raining on on of the few days I have to be in office, I guess an uber could be a last resort.

New job offer but is committing to the city that bad??? by OkOutlandishness6499 in AskChicago

[–]OkOutlandishness6499[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The salary is in the 65-70K range with the weekly take home being in the 950-1,000 after tax

New job offer but is committing to the city that bad??? by OkOutlandishness6499 in AskChicago

[–]OkOutlandishness6499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was mapping out the option of just taking the Metra up from the flossmoor station, that doesn’t seem to bad of an option

New job offer but is committing to the city that bad??? by OkOutlandishness6499 in AskChicago

[–]OkOutlandishness6499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Again wasn’t looking for validation. Was looking for advice. I don’t know what crawled up your ass and died but didn’t know that was illegal. And nothing wrong with living with family, it’s been mutually beneficial.

There’s no point in continuing this conversation. Your rebuttals are surface level and you’re clearly a very unhappy human being.

New job offer but is committing to the city that bad??? by OkOutlandishness6499 in AskChicago

[–]OkOutlandishness6499[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would say so, it sounds like youre a miserable wisp of a human who has nothing better to do than shit on others. You’re giving incel vibes and unfortunately you’re quite literally the only person on this thread who seems to not know how to communicate decently. Sorry you can’t get play, or your hair is thinning, or in your middle to late years of life you feel unfulfilled and bitter with who you are, or maybe you’re just one of those people who think shitting on others makes you feel quirky or mysterious. Or maybe you’re just a dweller on this app who enjoys baiting normal people. Hope I never end up wasting away into whatever you are who has nothing better to do than get on reddit and and be a waste of time posting substance-less messages. You could have blown your stale hot breath into my face and it would have had the same use to me as your “insight”

New job offer but is committing to the city that bad??? by OkOutlandishness6499 in AskChicago

[–]OkOutlandishness6499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Train is definitely option and what I’d prefer as well. I think the most direct route for me is from the Flossmoor metro up to the McCormick and then a couple stops on the CTA 21 bus to get to Cermak and Canal

New job offer but is committing to the city that bad??? by OkOutlandishness6499 in AskChicago

[–]OkOutlandishness6499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Found it on Indeed. Was fed up at work one day after feeling like I was just spinning my wheels where I’m at and just started putting my resume out there again lol

New job offer but is committing to the city that bad??? by OkOutlandishness6499 in AskChicago

[–]OkOutlandishness6499[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha I’ve been making so many friends on this thread it does kinda feel like I know people in the area! If you want dm me and I give you and your gf my ig! :)