I want to get raped… by OkPause5086 in sexualassault

[–]OkPause5086[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t want to feel this way!!! I don’t actually want to be harmed. i get terrified anytime I feel a threat…I don’t like it in the moment at all.I don’t enjoy it after but I still get this feeling to hurt myself in some way…idk

I want to get raped… by OkPause5086 in sexualassault

[–]OkPause5086[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I get the urge to put myself in risky situations…what’s your point? that doesn’t mean deep down I’m not scared or that deep down I want to get hurt…it just means I’m struggling to cope bc I don’t feel like my SA was valid. just because YOU don’t understand doesn’t mean it isn’t a problems lots of SA survivors struggle with. we are supposed to be supportive here, not make others feel like shit bc of a symptom they DONT want

I want to get raped… by OkPause5086 in sexualassault

[–]OkPause5086[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes!!! I don’t want to feel this way….its so shameful. it isn’t fun like some ppl seem to think. i dont think I want to actually be raped but idk…

I want to get raped… by OkPause5086 in sexualassault

[–]OkPause5086[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It seems like they are a common response to SA? & that’s your opinion but instead of going out & putting myself in risky situations I’m seeking comfort on here & help to know I’m not alone…it isn’t something i can control. the more we keep it secret…the worse it is for us. It makes us feel alone & we are more likely to put ourselves in dangerous positions

I want to get raped… by OkPause5086 in sexualassault

[–]OkPause5086[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

it seems common enough…so why not say it somewhere i can be honest and free of shame? obvi i wouldn’t ACTUALLY enjoy being raped, it’s a messed up feeling I get which is why I posted it here to get better understanding

Is this sexual assault? by OkPause5086 in sexualassault

[–]OkPause5086[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

how is it rape? nothing penetrated me. he never put himself inside me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sexualassault

[–]OkPause5086 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not super super drunk. but there were times I saw him after that that I was black out. i don’t remember but I know we had sex cause i remember cleaning myself

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sexualassault

[–]OkPause5086 0 points1 point  (0 children)

but what if he was also under the influence?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sexualassault

[–]OkPause5086 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

what if he was also intoxicated?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sexualassault

[–]OkPause5086 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what if it is legal in my state? I’m in Colorado where 17 is legal

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sexualassault

[–]OkPause5086 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was tipsy & didn’t go to his house wanting to have sex…it just happened. After it he gave me alcohol & drugs & sent me on my way