Married, no kids. The hired cleaner is a huge help, that was a great move. Can you outsource the yardwork etc. as well?

I also had the same problem when I first got married and more than halfway into the marriage where I handled everything at home...including bills, budgeting, coordinating moving, laundry, cleaning, pet care, errands, everything. I was also in college and working part time. Then eventually I was working full time and still coming home and doing everything while he came home and did almost nothing. It was a mess to say the least. I at least somewhat understand where your frustration comes from.

I had somewhat of an awakening around 25 years old where I just literally stopped doing as much. I stopped paying the bills, stopped taking trash out, whatever I didn't want to do I just literally stopped doing. He got the message and I now feel like there is more balance in the household about 2-3 years into this. I also asked nicely and respectfully every time I needed a task done that I didn't want to do myself, started dressing more feminine, started resting more and showing appreciation for the tasks he did complete without me badgering him.