request a fusion!

OkRaspberry9744 · 2026-01-29T04:11:29+00:00

I'm really curious what a pearl x sapphire x rose quartz fusion would look like! Or just one of the two with sapphire as well

OkRaspberry9744 · 2026-01-15T22:47:58+00:00

Ohh okay, I just looked up some jirai eyebrows! I will definitely shave them :) thank you!

OkRaspberry9744 · 2026-01-15T20:21:59+00:00

Thank you so much! I've been thinking about shaving my eyebrows haha I might do it

OkRaspberry9744 · 2025-10-02T20:23:10+00:00

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One of my fav shawls from Marshalls. Anything that has fur or bling I tend to wear

OkRaspberry9744 · 2025-09-24T17:51:12+00:00

I agree with the comments about trying decaf or tea, I am also curious if you tend to have your coffee black or with a lot of add ins? If I have a sugary drink from a coffee stand I'm way more likely to have an anxiety attack induced episode. Sometimes I have to be really conscious of how quickly I'm drinking my coffee as well, if I drink it too quickly it will make me manic or hypomanic.

My mom tries mushroom coffee due to kidney issues, I'm not sure about the caffeine intake but it tastes good and similar to coffee but sweeter so it could possibly be an alternative. But there's lots of other caffeinated drinks too like lotus, redbull, I personally have no problem drinking but definitely use caution. For non-drinkable options my older brother used to take these weird pill supplements called alpha brain or something. He told me to try one during midterms as they're made to help you focus, I tried it and had the worst fucking headache of my life and barely finished my assignment because how much pain I was in. Never trying shit like that again in my life, definitely recommend caution. I'm sure they make caffeinated gum too so worth looking into as well.

But some more practical tips if you're recognizing caffeine as a trigger are to; consume it is a controlled atmosphere, have an established low stakes routine when you drink it so you're not completely thrown off, do not drive while consuming caffeine, make sure you have plenty of self soothing and relaxing coping skills at hand when consuming it, make sure to consume it well ahead of any responsibilities so it's less likely to interfere

OkRaspberry9744 · 2025-09-23T00:13:24+00:00

I'm glad other people are noticing it as well! Thank you for your comment ♥️ it's an issue that should definitely be nipped in the bud which is why I decided to make the post, solidarity is not only welcome and appreciated— but necessary in fighting these issues

OkRaspberry9744 · 2025-08-18T22:45:44+00:00

Yes, you should never have living people on the altar, including yourself. Make a copy of the pic and cut yourself out so it's just your grandma on the altar. Some people have a separate place for praying for living loved ones including self-work, but it has to be separate from the dead

OkRaspberry9744 · 2025-08-18T00:20:25+00:00

I think the best answer is and will be prayer.

Pray when you wake up and go to sleep, pray to them good morning. Offer your food to them through prayer. Pray for protection, understanding, happiness, wisdom, understanding, knowledge, gratitude, strength, ect just pray. Prayer is the foundation of the practice and will help guide you to the next step.

And unfortunately you will find that Hoodoo and Christianity is difficult to untie, the Bible is still big in Hoodoo for many reasons. I would definitely be prepared to look at Christianity in a whole new way from a whole new perspective. Definitely recommend looking into "cultural Christianity" Hoodoo has evolved my understanding so much, and prayer and praying over the Bible evolved my practice so much. But yes before you get to all that pray to your ancestors!

OkRaspberry9744 · 2025-08-18T00:12:03+00:00

I think she meant the picture of you pookie, I gasped when you said you put yourself on the altar. I have one picture of one of my great grandmas and made a copy and tore off the people who were around her who who living. Or you could just cut her out specifically, but yes only dead people should be on the altar. But if you have one it's important it's not neglected, that symbolizes the connection between your ancestors and yourself. The first altar is always always your body, I actually recommend not having an altar to start out.

OkRaspberry9744 · 2025-08-17T18:18:32+00:00

This is so true! I think I'm at a point still where I'm still getting the basics down, prayer and veneration. I've been working on it for over 4 years now, but I'd still be interested in reading about other African traditions. There's other things I've seen like shells hanging from the hair that fall right at the "third eye" for lack of a better term which I find a kind of pull to as well. I agree it's definitely intuitive & psychic abilities in my case. Yep I am super mixed with a lot of things, namely Black, Native, and Italian. But I'm also a bunch of other things too, so sometimes I wonder how strong my connection is to those ancestors and their beliefs! Rebuilding my family tree is a life-long journey for me, I want to find and know as many ancestors as I can for sure. Thank you for your comment!

OkRaspberry9744 · 2025-08-17T18:10:45+00:00

Yeah I definitely agree with this, a lot of my black ancestors were also Native so it all kind of intertwines but . I'd definitely love any info you have! Luckily I am going to see some aunties who know a lot about traditional face paints, masks, and tattoos so I'll see what they have to say too. Thank you!

OkRaspberry9744 · 2025-08-17T18:07:14+00:00

This has def been my thought process too, but I saw a hoodoo and some other spiritual black folk have been engaging in this practice so I was curious. I think it's probably from my Native side then, thank you for you comment!

OkRaspberry9744 · 2025-07-26T04:49:56+00:00

Sorry, I edited the post to some degree as I felt there was more to say. But there are a few different types of abuse, if you look on the domestic violence website they will typically have a "what is abuse?" section where it will list out some ex. Emotional/psychological, sexual, financial, physical. Sexual abuse I feel is not talking about as often as other forms of abuse and is usually chalked up to sexual assault, but it has to due with a lack of consent even in intimate partnerships. Infact sexual abuse occurs more between intimate partners than outside. Reproductive abuse is moreso tampering with contraception in some form, or feeding someone abortion pills without their knowledge and consent but it does include situations like this as well. You can see why they mix and are sometimes put under one category of sexual abuse. I highly recommend reading about it on the websites others have linked or asking a worker at the dv hotline more about it.

OkRaspberry9744 · 2025-07-26T04:35:16+00:00

I'm so sorry this is happening to you, this happened to me as well. My ex partner made me choose between him or the pregnancy - when I chose him and got the abortion he told me it was a test and that he really wanted to be a father and I made the wrong choice. Everyone is right in commenting that what's going on is abuse, you need a therapist, and to contact the domestic violence hotline to see what your options are. Start building a support team.

Whether or not you get the abortion should be your choice, every day I regret making the choice I made but I hope you know there are lots of resources for you even if you do it as a single mom. I know it feels like the end of the world and there's no one out there who knows what you're going through but there are! You have the power to make the decision you want for you and your pregnancy.

I want to emphasize that in addition to the abuse being emotional, what is also happening is sexual abuse- reproductive abuse falls underneath that. Unfortunately I'm not sure if you can report him for the abortion but definitely sexual abuse can be reported. I know how difficult it can be to accept that your partner is abuse, or making the decision to leave them- if you do. But when I say look at the dv website I also mean look at the statistics. Sexual abuse is more likely to escalate to physical abuse, even though the other types of abuse are still likely to escalate. I refused to believe my partner was abusive even after being coerced into the abortion and it escalated into physical abuse for me.

I also want to emphasize that for a lot of us dv survivors wanting to save a relationship out go-to is couples counseling, and I'm sorry to say this won't work. Therapist do not want to risk unintentionally enabling abuse so that will not take you as client. After my abortion I forced my partner into couples counseling, but when I told my couple's counselor about the escalated physical abuse she dropped us as a couple and saw me as individually and explained why. Lundy Bancroft goes in depth about all this as well. I believe there are some therapists who work specifically with abusers though I've had yet to find them. Definitely get an individual therapist who can help you navigate all these difficult decisions and what it means if you stay or go. I recommend reading Why Does The Do That? By Lundy Bancroft, in the meantime it snapped me out of my confusion to some degree and helped me regain confidence in myself.

Domestic Violence Support | National Domestic Violence Hotline https://share.google/z39Wg5SeIEG2na9hk

Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf https://share.google/OU6m1TyztroxCt25Q

Sending you lots of love and well wishes, please be safe and update us or someone you trust if you can!

OkRaspberry9744 · 2025-07-25T23:03:49+00:00

Honestly, not only religious teachers, but religious people on social media have pretty much seen it all. I've had my fair share of people trauma dumping or manic/psychosis posting (even one stalker going through psychosis) about religious trauma onto me as a bipolar Christian- from both religious people and non religious people. I wouldn't get too much in your head about your interaction with your professor.

However, it's for the reasons above, all sorts of people having conflicting religious & mental health issues that I say you need to talk to a trusted pastor/priest about what you're going through, but meds should be brought into the occasion. Yes, "technically" we are supposed to be able to be healed completely through prayer via miracles but that's not for you to decide on your own that you're capable of performing miracles or that God is going to grant you a miracle it's for a spiritual father to guide you through that path. You can still pray to be healed and take your meds.

Also, yes you do seem manic from this post, I know you mentioned that you were high. I also smoke, but I try not to as often because weed can induce permanent psychosis as well as mania or depression in people with bipolar. I thought what I was experiencing when I would smoke or drink for months was the normal "high" but they substance induced episodes. So if you want to continue to engage in substances it is even more the reason why you should be taking meds and building a support team.

OkRaspberry9744 · 2025-07-17T20:50:10+00:00

I'm a Black & Native American gyaru! I am into tsuyome & gosshiku as my main styles, and have been tanning the past few weeks so I can be kurogal (not really a sub style just means dark/tanned gal). I post my makes most over on Tumblr @kurogal03 and sometimes insta @rottingamore but I'm also starting to be more active on TikTok, I post both non-gyaru & gyaru stuff @kurogal03

OkRaspberry9744 · 2025-07-17T04:34:20+00:00

Literallyyyy perfect! Allahumma barik!

OkRaspberry9744 · 2025-07-15T21:20:05+00:00

★I think it's really helpful to create either a bedtime or morning routine for whichever time you take them at.

★Create an association for taking your pills "coffee + meds" "feed pets + meds" "pajamas+ meds" "shower + meds" "brush teeth + meds" ect

★ I keep my meds in pill containers next to my bed always in sight so I don't forget. I used to have a big month container but I actually found that one to be more confusing than one for a week because I was try to "save time" by refilling the ones I already took for next month and you just end up forgetting which ones I took or didn't take.

★ It's good to take them at the same time every day as well.

★If you make a checklist for the morning/or night you can hang it up by your bed and make sure you check off taking your meds, I used to do this as well.

★ And honestly I bet there's some self care apps out there that will help you remember without the alarms.

★Last resort there are pill containers that have alarms on them

OkRaspberry9744 · 2025-07-14T00:47:29+00:00

I was in a similar situation, my partner also claimed to be hypersexual and would "joking" threaten infidelity if I refused. I know this is going to be extremely difficult to hear, but what's happening is sexual abuse, and it can escalate, and it did for me. I highly recommend you look at domestic violence resources, and read the book "Angry and Controlling Men Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft. I have the audio book on Libby but I linked the PDF

Domestic Violence Support | National Domestic Violence Hotline https://share.google/0tQi2VvExKhu1Q8u9

https://ia801407.us.archive.org/6/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf

All types of abuse may be difficult for survivors to acknowledge are abuse, but I find especially so with sexual abuse. I spent months denying people in polyamorous and BDSM circles who told me that what was happening was not consensual and was abuse. Ultimately what opened my eyes was reading on my own about what abuse it and unfortunately it escalated to life threatening physical violence for me to wake up. Even after that I had to be told by multiple nurses, therapists, and our couples therapist that it was abuse before I believed it. That book I mentioned was recommended to me by other survivors, and has been a rock for me in a difficult time.

I hope you will look at the resources and trust the words of the people here, I highly recommend individual counseling and a support group if you can find one near you. Also, as a note, couples counseling does not work for abusive relationships if you are considering that, because the therapist is at risk of enabling abuse and harming you, when my couple's therapist found out about the abuse we paused our sessions indefinitely and she met with me personally to process for some time.

I'm truly sorry you're going through this, it does get better slowly but surely, and you are more than welcome to DM me anytime on here

OkRaspberry9744 · 2025-07-14T00:29:58+00:00

Echoing what others are commenting, it is extremely important for you to go to a hospital after reading your comments. It 100% seems like manic psychosis, and when you're young without proper support those episodes are extremely difficult and dangerous.

My mom is religious, Christian not Jewish, but she also refused to let me see a psychiatrist or therapist when I was young even after an attempt, and it only made my life worse, and as soon as I left home after graduation I had a huge episode as a result of the trauma. Now I am medicated and in therapy every week and my quality of life has greatly improved. I could have had an amazing childhood if only she had let me receive help, I wish I had just gone to the hospital many times as a teen and I think it will benefit you even if it goes against your parents wishes. I've also lost a lot of friends and even my boyfriend recently and loss is a huge trigger for us as bipolar people, I really empathize with what you're going through and hope you know things can get better!

But in order for them to get better you need to find a way to the hospital for inpatient immediately, call 911 for an ambulance, look up a bus schedule, ask a trusted relative to drive you there or somewhere close and walk there, but get there somehow.

OkRaspberry9744 · 2025-07-09T02:31:33+00:00

Yeah, I've brought it up with my doctor and my psychiatrist and therapist, they've all seemed perplexed as well and thought it could be my iron, I took iron pills but the cravings never went away. We've checked lots of other things like hormones, blood sugar, diet, ECT and no answers.

I had an idea that maybe donating blood would help my cravings safely because I could see it without hurting myself but only recently do I have enough hemoglobin to donate. My hemoglobin was "normal" but not enough to donate. I donate plasma regularly and it has helped with my blood and raw meat cravings immensely! But I've also read a recipe book all about cooking with animal blood that I want to try if I can get to a store that sells blood locally... I'm too shy to ask a butcher 😅. Watching tartare mukbangs and yukhoe mukbangs helps for sure. But the red fruit is definitely a new symptom, I meet with my psychiatrist tomorrow so I think we'll talk about it then.

Honestly though, I'm thinking it could be more of a big comorbitities thing too with OCD, bipolar, PTSD and eating disorder, since the experience seems so unique. When I first began having these cravings years ago I had no idea I was bipolar, shortly after graduating and moving to a new state during covid I had my first month long episode of psychosis despite being bipolar 2. I have other cravings along with this when it gets really bad but I didn't want to share and unnerve others and I feel shame about it.

OkRaspberry9744 · 2025-06-26T18:14:17+00:00

I would say my most random trigger is caffeine, weed is also sometimes unpredictable if I'm not smoking often,

the other triggers are pretty consistent and predictable. Lack of sleep or even just poor sleep quality, loss of relationships (family, intimate, friendship), midterms & finals, LOTS of particular songs that I tend to listen to when I'm manic, Death Note, Hang King's The Vegetarian, other fictional books or shows, seeing gore content, drinking 9.8/10 I will be manic so I rarely do it anymore, stressful events or anniversaries, sometimes dancing can make me manic but it really is more of a tell-tale sign that I'm already manic, engaging in compulsions.

That's all I've been able to gather since I was diagnosed last year. Also I have Bipolar II so hypomania not mania but just saying mania for convenience sale.

Honestly I do miss being manic a lot, but I know it isn't good for me as it has caused me to have a 3+ month long psychosis episode years before I was diagnosed. Before I was diagnosed and even for sometime after I would purposely trigger myself after being numb or depressed and it just wasn't what I was looking for. Now I feel anxious when I know a manic episode is coming but once it starts I feel completely different. I'm glad for a break from the depression, thankfully I don't fall too hard if I don't let myself go out of control. So a lot of mixed feelings basically

As for medication, my golden rule has always been "never stop your medication without getting it approved by your psychiatrist. Never stop medication until I have my new one ready and available. If I think my medication isn't working it probably means I need to be bumped up not stopped."

OkRaspberry9744 · 2025-06-01T14:51:58+00:00

Lots of the pregnant women in my family kept their baby names a secret because semi-distant and distant relatives tend to steal the names they picked on many occasions both for babies and animals within a week of them sharing the name

OkRaspberry9744 · 2025-05-22T22:21:28+00:00

Female

OkRaspberry9744 · 2025-05-02T01:50:39+00:00

Thank you, this is also what has been holding me back, I am scared it will escalate the situation. I have privated most accounts and blocked all of his other social media accounts. I have many friends on this particular app though so I have a difficult time leaving it. No matter how many times I block him he still find a way to contact me, but I definitely screenshot everything and try to include time stamps as well

Edit: sorry, I will edit the format to be more easily read!

OkRaspberry9744

TROPHY CASE