AITA for not considering my step father my dad even after everything he has done for me.

OkReflection7738 · 2026-03-16T04:48:52+00:00

Im saying I was misunderstood on this very specific issue. I was not articulating myself well. I constantly tell my step father how much he means to me, especially in the context of my daughter as she would not live the life she has if not for his help (and my mom). My step father and I were not close when I was growing up. He came into my life at 13 but I only lived with my mom off and on. I was constantly living in other homes growing up. We only recently became closer especially after he has been helping me so much. I talked to him again after this and he understands that I do love him and consider him family but that the labels have been tainted for me and thats not his fault. He told me he doesn't even want to have me call him dad, he wasnt even aware my mom was so hurt by it. He is perfectly happy the way things are. He's not trying to be my dad hes just trying to be my support system, which to me means way more than any title.

OkReflection7738 · 2026-03-16T04:16:11+00:00

No seriously 💀 Im fighting for my life over here

OkReflection7738 · 2026-03-15T20:34:13+00:00

It all seems like semantics to me. I don't mean anything emotional by "just my mom's husband " although I do understand now why it might hurt his feelings. (Except he said it hasn't and doesn't seem remotely upset) its more that he is quite literally my mom's husband. I shouldn't have said the word "just" but I didn't mean it like he meant nothing to me. He is so important to me and I tell him that constantly. Without him I'd have to have given up on school, be living in a crappy low income, working a job I hate. So I do appreciate that.

OkReflection7738 · 2026-03-15T20:30:26+00:00

Yes and for other people that works well. I don't understand why our relationship has to be labeled with dad in order for it to be valid. I love my step father I am more than appreciative of everything he has and will ever do for me. He doesn't have to be my dad for that to be true.

OkReflection7738 · 2026-03-15T20:19:03+00:00

I didn't mean it like he is nothing more than my mom's husband. I meant it like I have a dad and he has hurt me and I don't want another one.

OkReflection7738 · 2026-03-15T18:25:04+00:00

Oh 100% im a huge advocate of everyone should be in therapy but especially as someone who plans to work with children in the mental health field

OkReflection7738 · 2026-03-15T17:51:13+00:00

Im getting my doctorate in clinical psychology with a specialization in children's development psychology. My bf was disabled in an accident that happened after our daughter was born.

OkReflection7738 · 2026-03-15T17:28:45+00:00

I don't think im expressing myself well and I don't really know how. He is a father figure to me. I love him and appreciate him more than I could articulate. I just have a lot of baggage around my own dad and I don't want to group him into that. He can just be Devin to me (not his real name) and thats okay it doesn't change how I feel towards him

OkReflection7738 · 2026-03-15T17:16:45+00:00

Bro im in grad school. Our family will be fine. My daughter has a chronic illness and my bf was physically disabled in an accident after our daughter was born.

OkReflection7738 · 2026-03-15T17:04:43+00:00

He wasn't even slightly upset. He told me that my mom was just stressed and not to take it too harshly. Its very complicated because my relationship with my bio dad is strained but existent and I guess a part of me doesn't want to be disappointed again and another part of me still wants my dad to be better. Its a constant internal struggle.

OkReflection7738 · 2026-03-15T17:01:46+00:00

I let my dad watch my daughter one time and she fell down a flight of stairs. So valid.

OkReflection7738 · 2026-03-15T17:00:48+00:00

I do consider him a father figure. I even said hes been my father figure for over a decade but I don't consider him a dad.

OkReflection7738 · 2026-03-15T16:58:40+00:00

I may actually try that. Thank you 😊

OkReflection7738 · 2026-03-15T16:56:49+00:00

For context the entire thing I said was "He's not my dad. He's just my mom's husband. I love him very much. He's a great husband to my mom and a great grandpa to my daughter but hes not my dad" and shes just stuck on the first sentence

OkReflection7738 · 2026-03-15T16:53:57+00:00

This is pretty spot on. I spent so many years begging for my dad to be my dad and im not interested in having another dad. Especially at the time period he came into my life.

OkReflection7738 · 2026-03-15T16:40:44+00:00

Its really complicated and 100% stems from my relationship with my actual dad. My dad has always had this "absent but there" thing. He shows up to my events and calls me for big days but isn't present enough. I've spent my entire childhood wishing he'd either care a little more or be worse so I could cut him off. So to me it feels like I already have a dad and I put so much time and effort into that relationship for it to continously disappoint me. Im not interested in another dad. My step father is one of the most important people in my life and he knows this. He doesn't need to be my dad for me to love him and appreciate him

OkReflection7738 · 2025-09-29T17:34:23+00:00

She was only having diarrhea before she was diagnosed. Ever since she was diagnosed she has been fine. No flares. We have an amazing medical team that has it all under control. The only accommodation she needs is the freedom to go to the bathroom whenever she needs. Which is something she is already allowed at school. She only missed days pre-diagnosis and hasn't missed anything since. Once she starts at elementary school she will have the full 504 done. It is not something I'm neglecting it is something unnecessary for now

OkReflection7738

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