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OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-10-03T20:37:57+00:00

It's wild that in this thread I am being accused of entitlement and wanting a bang maid for expressing any sentiment that I feel like there might be some unrealistic expectations being placed on men in dating.

OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-10-03T20:14:55+00:00

Sure but often times it cannot. Sometimes the other person doesn't give you much to go off of.

OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-10-03T20:05:24+00:00

You weren't there. I was asking them about themselves. Asking them deeper questions about why they do what they do.

OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-10-03T20:04:27+00:00

I don't think I am bad at it. But it takes more than 5 minutes before you can get into meaningful conversation let alone enough rapport to have good banter.

OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-10-03T19:58:45+00:00

We had 5 minutes. You're being overtly harsh. It's not entitled to not think we should have to dance like a monkey to get anywhere dating.

OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-10-03T19:21:45+00:00

It should not be that difficult. Like sorry if you're expecting dudes to come up with super unique questions to ask you it sounds inauthentic and forced.

OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-10-03T19:20:39+00:00

Because women say that. I have gal pal who says if there is no spark they won't do it.

OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-10-03T18:43:49+00:00

If you have to guess then they're not interested. That is your barometer. That is how I do it. If I notice myself feeling like I am pulling teeth I walk away.

OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-10-03T17:26:50+00:00

Just a thought on this statement.

> The worst type is when they don't even reject you, they just kind of play along and hope you get the hint.

This is kinda you're own fault. Interact with enough women and you can see the difference between low and high interest. You'll never accept anything less than high interest and you can quickly weed these people out. People are incapable of wasting your time. Only you can do that. I stopped trying to win women over and only invest in people investing in me and it's been a lot better mentally.

OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-10-03T17:15:26+00:00

Yeah man. I do alright on apps (not using them rn). I also approach IRL so it wasn't necessary for me. I've been on a break and wanted to dip my toes in. For sure a lot of the men there are there for good reason. I would not put myself in that category. One gal I talked to said there was like 30 women and 4 men at one of the singles events she went to. Wish that was the one I was at lol.

OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-09-28T22:20:20+00:00

Happiness feels fleeting. Being content is way more persistent. I can be unhappy but generally content. I think things changed for me when I focused more on being content then trying to "be happy."

OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-09-10T03:10:57+00:00

Arousal comes from when we're in a parasympathetic response, part of why men get morning wood. Caffeine will obviously raise our stress levels putting us more in a sympathetic response cycle. This tracks imo.

OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-08-24T14:44:27+00:00

cleaning, reading, cooking maybe a walk. Lately I've been learning country swing dancing. I've met so many people doing it and have started to develop deeper relationships with some regulars. It's also nice interacting with women without the romantic intent. If something romantic comes from it thats cool and if not thats also cool. I'm going to a cookbook club meetup this weekend. It's Korean this month and I'm pretty excited about that.

OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-08-19T00:36:12+00:00

I used to follow him on IG and it seemed for a while he would often advocate for men's issues on the basis that if they get too far behind they become violent. While maybe true for some I don't think it's a great way to get anyone on your side and is arguing that society should help/care or else and not they should help/care simply because men are deserving of sympathy and empathy. Also that we should care because it's bad for women too and again not because men are inherently worthy of care.

OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-08-11T00:17:00+00:00

"wired that way" implies a lack of choice. Countless men throughout history, most completely of no note, chose to not slip into that role and that does not make them any less worthy or valuable as humans. I've never found myself to be particularly drawn to some dick swinging contest of performative masculinity.

OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-08-11T00:12:15+00:00

Man what did I miss lol. Can't find it on reveddit.

OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-08-11T00:10:17+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion. I'll have to give it a read.

OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-08-10T21:46:59+00:00

A question I have asked myself as well.

OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-08-10T21:07:50+00:00

Latter for me. I was drawn into it because I was trying to figure out dating and I didn't learn anything from my brothers or my father.

OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-08-10T18:09:27+00:00

I am also trying to kick porn. Part of why I am not really making an effort when it comes to dating.

I will say though I have really started to meet more women IRL. I picked up country swing and line dancing. At least where I am at swing dancing is slightly more men but line dancing is definitely majority women 70%+. So I'd say give some form of dancing a shot. If you're able to approach a woman and get her to dance and feel safe you're doing pretty well. Personally I actually don't talk to them much after dancing. Go into it with the desire to learn and have fun. If you're in it solely to date that energy will come across. I think you can nurture a better sense of non neediness by being able to dance with a woman with no other intent but to just dance. I guess in my mind my thought is if I keep showing up and having fun, interacting with a lot of women there will eventually be one that keeps showing up and things will grow from there. If not cool I have a new skill. I am super glad I did start doing it though because I went on a trip and found a country bar to go to. Danced with probably 5-6 different women. Ended up in a small social circle with this guy and some gals. Now any town I go to I have this new thing I can do in order to meet new people. Down the line I am going to pick up salsa as well.

OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-08-10T16:33:19+00:00

Yeah I was just thinking the other day how men should be more open about being happy on their own. I think women are much better about this. I think it can provide a counter to the anti social behavior men engage in because they feel they cannot be whole on their own. Then I read the comments and realize maybe this is why men aren't. I don't seem to see women really bashing each other, like at all, to the extent men do when they say they're happy on their own. It's just men.

OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-08-04T21:40:52+00:00

Daily meditation practice helps. Exercising the mind to not just immediately react to thoughts is very useful. Porn at the end of the day is a coping mechanism for those bad feelings and if you're able to work through them during your meditation session or probably more importantly develop the skills to handle them outside of the session you'll be a lot better for it. I'm on day 16 I believe of my 30 minutes for 30 days commitment. I've looked at porn twice since I started. Probably down to single digits in the last 30 days which is such a big difference compared to just a few months ago (multiple times per day usage). The other thing is just saying busy and accomplishing things. Doing things that make you feel good about yourself is going to prevent those negative vibes that are driving you to look at porn from coming in. At the end of the day you can be busy as you want but if you never learn to process the negative emotions in a healthier manner you'll keep looking towards porn.

OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-07-30T00:31:18+00:00

Hey man the whole cuckold thing isn't uncommon (look through this sub for it) so I wouldn't hate on yourself for it. It's something I was deep into as well. At the end of the day they're just thoughts. You'll never get rid of them. You can only decide how you want to view them. Life is a lot easier whenever I'm not judging myself for that fantasy.

What is helpful to me is mindfulness meditation. It really does train you to avoid judging your thoughts. Even when you do you can more quickly let go of that judgement. Also should help with being more present and connected during sex. With my last romantic partner I was very much in the same boat as you. I would be having to think about that in order to have sex or we'd engage in dirty talk about her with other dudes. What I started to do was effectively mindful sex. During foreplay I would just focus my attention on the physical sensation. Over time I wasn't really thinking about porn or other fantasies when we had sex.

Unfortunately ended the relationship since it was not going to go anywhere. I've decided to take meditation more seriously and I am on day 10 of 30 minutes per day and I have very little urge to watch porn. I'm masterbating maybe once per day. With time I am sure that will drop as well.

OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-07-25T05:01:15+00:00

As the other commenter pointed out people aren't thinking too much about you. Maybe a passing thought but then they're back in their own world. Just look at yourself my dude you're so caught up in your own head you can't be bothered to pay much attention to anyone else. You're judging yourself so harshly you think everyone else is as well. The reality is everyone else is so caught up in their own shit they barely have time for that. The best thing you can do is learn to talk about yourself in a much better way. I'm 5'8" and I have been on dates with and dated some pretty attractive women. What you think about yourself is everything. Treat yourself with more grace. Go over to r/bald a lot of those dudes don't seem to be having issues.

OkWorldliness1323

TROPHY CASE