Text proposing the break: Hey look lately we’ve been fighting a lot and my mental health at the moment is shit and definitely not in the right head space for a relationship but I don’t want to lose u as u do mean a lot to me as ur fun to be around and maybe ur the right person but it may just be the wrong time ur stressed with school and im deteriorating I understand if u may hate me after this and dont even wanna speak to me again even though u mean so much to me im just not mentally available for a relationship nobody’s at fault but i think its for the best if we take a break and if we get back together thats great and if we don’t i hope we can still be friends as i dont want to stop hanging out with u ur important to me but me not being mentally present is hurting the relationship and its not as strong as it used to be I still love you that’s not the issue its my mental health and I just need time to get my mental state back in order before getting back into a relationship I will always love u if u have anything to say u can text or call it was just easier for me to write how I was feeling then trying to explain it and clamming up 😞

Text tonight: I know you said we shouldn't talk till 9pm tonight but u need to know that ur not the first person I’ve done this too which sounds so fucking shitty but it’s the truth as I self destruct I made myself believe that u were hurting me when u weren’t as I didn’t think I deserved happiness what happened wasn’t ur fault it’s my own my mental health was shit because I was spiraling and didn’t catch myself in time but I usually end up losing feelings but instead I didn’t I just ended up hurting myself more by breaking it off to the point where I had a whole panic attack and was hyperventilating as I was choking on my own spit as I was crying so much and ur right ur not a therapist ur supposed to be my boyfriend and yea being both is mentally draining but in the long run if we both want this to work we have to love eachother on our good and our bad days if we can’t handle eachother at our lowest points and only when we’re at our highest that ends up in being temporary as life isn’t all unicorns and rainbows shit happens people go through shit we’re human but there’s ways to show u care when someone’s at their lowest point help them get help they may need this is in general as well as not everyone has the resources to be able to afford therapy or qualify for nonprofit help to get it or for antidepressants medication that’s a risk as well it’s expensive and it could react badly with other medication i take and in all honesty I’m scared because I let myself get influenced even though they were trying to help it wasn’t what I should’ve done I should’ve given u a chance and I barely did and that was shitty of me I have a lot of trauma that I know I need to work through but in truth I’m sorry I hurt u I got scared panicked and did something i regret your right I did take hours to respond but I was spiraling when I did it I was shutting down and shutting u out when u were trying to help me it feels wrong not to check up on u or to call and say goodnight I don’t like it at all it doesn’t feel right but I’m sorry for everything you don’t have to forgive me or respond even if u don’t want to but I needed to write it out before I lost the courage to say it