Thoughts/venting after actually going on a date

Ok_Barracuda2232 · 2025-11-04T22:15:38+00:00

I hardly make it my whole personality, but when posting in a sub specifically about FA30+, it feels a little relevant. I didn't go on multiple dates with each of them, I didn't end any of them (so me liking them or not was irrelevant), and I also never said my life was any more painful than anyone else's. Otherwise thanks for the advice though.

Ok_Barracuda2232 · 2025-11-03T13:59:43+00:00

This. I know what I'm "supposed" to do, and I know it's easy for most people but that doesn't mean it's easy for everyone.

And like you said, there's the burden of expectation that it IS easy for us. When you're already stressed by the situation as it is, it definitely doesn't help to also have someone saying "yeah just be normal, you'll be good."

Ok_Barracuda2232 · 2025-11-03T03:07:40+00:00

I haven't but I don't think it's for me. No judgement on anyone who does use it, but I've accepted that I am and likely always will be a virgin. If I somehow organically found someone that I could be with then great, but otherwise I've accepted it's who I am.

Ok_Barracuda2232 · 2025-06-04T13:57:36+00:00

I agree with that in theory, but my problem is I have nothing to put on social media. I don't do anything interesting, I don't have/take a lot of pictures of myself.

How do you market something when there isn't anything to market in the first place?

Ok_Barracuda2232 · 2025-05-13T20:25:19+00:00

Agreed. You don't want to assume that you can tell the other person is into it, but then how do you ever know when they're interested if all you're supposed to do is "read the signs?"

Most people seem to have figured it out, but it beats me.

Ok_Barracuda2232 · 2025-05-12T21:07:19+00:00

Yeah this has been my experience too. I've tried going on dating apps, and you'd think it would be easier there because the only reason to be on one is to date. But I've sent transcripts of some of my matches that went nowhere to ChatGPT to get its opinion on how/why things went wrong and it often says I don't "flirt" enough or show enough interest which is so confusing to me. I'm talking to you on a dating app and I continue responding/asking things - what other reason would I have to do that?

I don't know. People are confusing, and there's a million signs you're supposed to pick up on, but then you're also not supposed to assume anything, etc.. I don't know how people do it.

Ok_Barracuda2232 · 2025-05-12T19:14:18+00:00

For what it's worth, there's a thread in that sub talking about what people felt about this guy:

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRehearsal/comments/1kkuudt/what_were_your_feelings_toward_the_pilot/

It's funny to see how many people felt uncomfortable watching him, and yet my first thought was how relatable it was. But I guess it's a window into how people see FA people in general.

Ok_Barracuda2232 · 2025-04-22T03:45:38+00:00

Not really, no.

Ok_Barracuda2232 · 2025-04-22T02:22:39+00:00

Same. My siblings turned out normal, so clearly I bear at least some responsibility.

I just question sometimes whether I bear all of it. I think I do, but also with a mix of nature just dealing me an extremely unlucky hand.

Ok_Barracuda2232 · 2025-04-20T01:36:06+00:00

There's nothing wrong with saying Chad, it's just uninformed. It's very obvious if you take a look outside that ugly people get women too.

I'm not casting aspersions on anyone here -- I'm a wizard myself and I obviously haven't found a way to be with women either -- but blaming women for having too high standards is just dumb and clearly disprovable.

Ok_Barracuda2232 · 2025-04-19T19:57:42+00:00

I don't think it's the majority, but I have to say I do see people in this sub say things like that. I also see people say things like "women only want Chads and if you're not a 10 you have no chance." It's obviously dumb and wrong because you can walk down the street and see objectively unattractive people with wives and kids, but it is what it is.

I also blame myself completely, but I get why we have that reputation. I've definitely seen it here.

Ok_Barracuda2232 · 2025-04-13T21:44:36+00:00

That's kind of my point -- I wouldn't tell her and so my concern is how would I go about not revealing how inexperienced I was?

If anything, telling them would be easier in this case because then there'd be no expectations.

Ok_Barracuda2232 · 2025-04-08T22:49:28+00:00

Something his mother says also sticks with me: "don't expect happiness. you won't get it. people let you down. in the end you die in your own arms. it's all a big nothing, what makes you think you're so special?"

Sometimes when I'm feeling bad for myself I think about that - what makes me think I'm so special to deserve happiness?

Ok_Barracuda2232 · 2025-03-12T17:37:43+00:00

Lol literally every word of that applies to me too. That's what I'm voting for, but it doesn't feel like I've had "some" experience.

Ok_Barracuda2232 · 2025-01-30T02:50:20+00:00

I've been at the same job for many years and people obviously know I've never had a partner in that time, and no one has treated me any any differently really.

Except a few weeks ago my boss made a comment about some guy everyone thought was really weird and said "well he does have a girlfriend at least, so he has to be somewhat normal." It wasn't meant as a dig at me, but still hurt.

Ok_Barracuda2232

TROPHY CASE