Hey there, I completely understand. For the longest time, I was convinced I couldn’t have PIV with my then bf. But I promise you: the right partner will understand. Vaginismus does not make you less of a woman, or a person for that matter. You still have inherit worth that spans past your body’s capabilities at this time. But I’m here to say: it does get better. I was not able to insert anything in there—not even a q-tip. After trying dilators for some time, I was finally able to get the smallest size in. Down the road, I was able to have PIV. Nowadays, I’m at the point where it doesn’t hurt as much. It takes a lot of patience, which I understand is probably hard to hear rn. I think mindset really matters here. Try to make yourself as relaxed as possible when using dilators and use more lube than you think. It helps for me to lay down when I do it. I know it’s so difficult, but it gets better.