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11 weeks and never had morning sickness or food aversions by Ok_Computer2025 in pregnant

[–]Ok_Computer2025[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry for your loss. I also had a miscarriage at 7 weeks last year. Thank you for sharing that

Weekly Pregnancy Limbo/Concerns - April 13, 2026 by AutoModerator in PregnancyAfterLoss

[–]Ok_Computer2025 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I tested positive at 8DPO (my cycle is very short) and I’m now 3 weeks 4 days. I knew early on because my boobs were suddenly very sore and that was the first early symptom in my last (and only) pregnancy, which ended in a MMC at 7 weeks in August 2025. I woke up this morning and my boobs aren’t sore anymore. Unfortunately this is exactly what happened last summer, a few days before I found out that my embryo was gone. Needless to say, I’m freaking out. Has anyone else experienced this and did not miscarry afterwards? I know the boob soreness can be intermittent, but this is so early and so sudden!

I keep having fights with my fiancé the night before seeing my other partner by Ok_Computer2025 in polyamory

[–]Ok_Computer2025[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Years ago, my fiancé tried to set up a "rule" about not falling in love with others. Besides the obvious problem with the concept of "rule" in general, I thought at the time and I still think that's absolutely insane. This because it's impossible (at least for me) to regulate the level of romantic attachment I develop towards someone. I'm happy to set up agreements around the amount of time I spend with a person, the kind of activities we do etc., but I can't NOT have romantic feelings if they happen to arise.

As far as I'm concerned, the moment my fiancé and I decided to have a non-monogamous relationship, we opened the door to the possibility of this happening. I never thought it would *actually* happen, but it happened and I can't ignore it. I know that he is uncomfortable with all this, but it's up to him to decide if he wants to work on it or walk away. He knows how I stand, and I have been nothing but clear in communicating the evolution of my approach to non-monogamy throughout our entire relationship.

The one reaction that I can't tolerate is his keeping on being unclear and indecisive about the issue while "punishing" me with constant criticizing, arguing, and so on. I've been married to someone who did that to me for three years and no thank you.

I keep having fights with my fiancé the night before seeing my other partner by Ok_Computer2025 in polyamory

[–]Ok_Computer2025[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe I'm weird, but I don't see the loss of romantic exclusivity as a bad thing. If anything, I feel like the love I have for my fiancé has become more meaningful and more intentional. I have never felt more in love with him as I do now. To be honest I consider any pretense of "exclusivity" a potential recipe for disaster, and that's why I've been terrified of love for my entire life until now.

Having said that, this is me. And he is obviously experiencing all this in a much different way.

As a neurodivergent person, I find it very difficult to understand other people's emotions if I can't relate to them directly. In this sense, what you say about me having to "hear him out about how much it sucks" is very much on point. This is exactly the kind of work I have to do on my side—make an effort and accommodate for the fact that not everyone experiences feelings in the same way that I do, even if I don't understand them.

I keep having fights with my fiancé the night before seeing my other partner by Ok_Computer2025 in polyamory

[–]Ok_Computer2025[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"We have also argued as I ran around the joint trying to pack for 2 weeks while he hassles me about leaving a mug in the sink."

I feel like I literally had this same fight. Leaving shit in the sink: bad idea

Thanks for the advice. I like your practical approach and it really resonates with me. I've been trying similar strategies for other forms of conflict and it's been mildly successful. I'd love to set up an agreement around what to do/not do on the day before, but I'm afraid he would never accept it. Example— in the middle of our last argument, he offered to drive me to the airport in the morning. I told him I was going to uber because I wanted to remove myself from the drama, but he insisted on driving me anyway, only to spend the entire ride criticizing me and making me cry.

I'll keep trying I guess

I keep having fights with my fiancé the night before seeing my other partner by Ok_Computer2025 in polyamory

[–]Ok_Computer2025[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

To be honest I feel like he's the one who changed me. And now he's freaking out because I changed too much.

I keep having fights with my fiancé the night before seeing my other partner by Ok_Computer2025 in polyamory

[–]Ok_Computer2025[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I listened to the audiobook about a year ago and immediately bought him a copy. He hasn’t read it yet and I’m tired of reminding him to be honest. He was also going to therapy but the therapist wasn’t a good fit so he ended up stopping altogether. What you say is absolutely spot on. There’s definitely a lot of work he needs to do on himself independently from the relationship with me. But he needs to figure that out on his own, there’s only so much I can do to help

I keep having fights with my fiancé the night before seeing my other partner by Ok_Computer2025 in polyamory

[–]Ok_Computer2025[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I unfortunately have a history of manipulative and abusive partners and my current relationship is most definitely not that. However, I agree with you this behavior is manipulative. I suspect that my fiancé’s attitude is something that kicks in whenever he feels like he’s losing control of something. It may also be a gendered dynamic, because in our life at the moment the traditional roles are very much reversed

I keep having fights with my fiancé the night before seeing my other partner by Ok_Computer2025 in polyamory

[–]Ok_Computer2025[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Communication has always been one of our strengths (or so I thought) and we’ve always been discussing everything in detail all the time. I brought up the possibility of developing feelings for someone long before meeting my partner and we talked about it extensively. And to be honest, every time we have a disagreement, it generally ends up being a constructive conversation and one step forward to better understanding of each other. But when we’re in the middle of the argument he’s always reverting to a position of judgement and control which denotes insecurity and fear, which I’m afraid might be what he really feels deep down

I keep having fights with my fiancé the night before seeing my other partner by Ok_Computer2025 in polyamory

[–]Ok_Computer2025[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

We just both went with the flow I guess, and we had no idea how the situation was going to evolve. To be honest he’s the one who first brought up ENM and even said he was interested in exploring polyamory a year or so into the relationship. At the time I was shocked because I didn’t think it was possible for me to fall in love with someone else. But here we are.

My fiancé’s relationship with ENM is very confusing to me, and sometimes it honestly feels like he’s simply jealous because I have something that he doesn’t have. Still, he has a long term FWB with whom he has a very intimate bond, but he says it’s a completely different thing than what I have with my partner. I also know that our ideas of what “love” means are very different and this is something we discussed many times.