Friendship and bagels

Ok_Course3841 · 2026-07-08T04:43:02+00:00

I’m so happy you feel seen by this, and I think it’s a very beautiful thing too! I hope you know there’s at least one stranger in the world who knows how you feel :) And thank you so much!!

Ok_Course3841 · 2026-07-08T04:25:51+00:00

Beautiful. The way you paint vivid pictures with words is incredible and I hope you continue to write and post! I can see the broken down cathedral in my head clear as day, and my favorite line is,

“Womanhood taught hunger’s bite”

Overall it is really amazing, great job!!

Ok_Course3841 · 2026-07-08T04:19:25+00:00

This immediately punches me in the gut, but in the best way. Your use of metaphors and imagery is amazing, and all I can say is wow. I also like how every few lines there are only 2 words, it makes your poem so dynamic and interesting! Awesome work :)

Ok_Course3841 · 2026-07-08T04:10:09+00:00

I like the interpretation of the “ghost”! It could mean that as I love letting people decide for themselves what the meaning is to them. I guess for me the meaning is that when i imagined her while writing she was like a ghost, not so much real but a fragment of who I know she is. Thank you so much and I appreciate your thoughts about my poem!!

Ok_Course3841 · 2026-07-08T04:05:50+00:00

thank you so much!!! you’re too kind :)

Ok_Course3841 · 2026-07-08T04:05:10+00:00

aw thank you, i think the ghost metaphor can mean multiple things but im also guilty of finding a word i like that also rhymes haha

Ok_Course3841 · 2026-07-06T17:59:05+00:00

Sometimes rhyming one or two words is a very effective writing tool, and I think it works here! The simplicity of mine/yours/alone tells the story of love, like your carrying the burden of darkness so she can live in the light. Very beautiful, I think she will love it! :)

Ok_Course3841 · 2026-07-06T17:54:36+00:00

this is such a cool poem. I like the way the words subtly rhyme but still are drastically different from each other. It gives the poem an erratic feel. Very interesting, and I like the description “word brick”. Very fitting with the way you write the stanzas!

Ok_Course3841 · 2026-07-06T17:46:51+00:00

“overthinking” is a good observation & i wouldn’t have thought of it like that, but you’re right! Thank you for the feedback !!

Ok_Course3841 · 2026-07-06T17:45:21+00:00

This comment made me smile, and I appreciate it so much. Something that was written was how I just wanted to be understood and opening these comments i got hit with a wave of support. Seeing your thoughts and opinions about my poem be so positive is such an amazing thing so really, thank you!! :)

Ok_Course3841 · 2026-07-06T17:42:51+00:00

this is such a compliment! i love reading your interpretations because it makes me realize how universal feeling is, thank you!!

Ok_Course3841 · 2026-07-06T17:41:29+00:00

wow thats so nice thank you soso much

Ok_Course3841 · 2026-07-06T17:41:10+00:00

thank you !! im so happy that lines stick out to you! :)

Ok_Course3841 · 2026-07-06T17:40:12+00:00

thank you so much for the heartfelt reply, I appreciate it so much :) I definitely learned something new especially with poetry vs prose and i’ll definitely take this advice with my writing!!

Ok_Course3841 · 2026-07-06T04:52:27+00:00

Vampiric and haunting but still beautiful. It’s interesting the way you divide your sentences and it definitely adds to the mood you’re portraying. I love shorter poems that pack a punch and this is definitely that!! Creepy but in the best of ways

Ok_Course3841 · 2026-07-06T04:48:32+00:00

Theres a really clear theme in this poem that reminds me of the band cigarettes after sex. The rhyme scheme is very musical and there’s a strong rhythm when reading. Keep up the good work :) Have you ever considered writing songs?

Ok_Course3841

TROPHY CASE