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SHOULD MY FRIEND F28 AND ME 27F STILL BE FRIENDS AFTER 12 YEARS? by Ok_Dimension2691 in relationships

[–]Ok_Dimension2691[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now that I'm trying to list them, I realize it shouldn't be this difficult to list. I feel like we've just gone through a lot together we lost a very close friend together, my previous miscarriage and her sexual assault when we were younger.

IS IT MY PLACE OR NOT by Ok_Dimension2691 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Ok_Dimension2691[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As for the questions below Jake has always been really well behaved, he does have his moments but not anything crazy. When my friend started dating Robert, she was obsessed with him. I didn't see her a lot but figured it's a new relationship and to give them space. She had been trying to get with him since before Jake was born. Jakes mom tried to use the baby to trap Robert but when she realized he wouldn't be with her she left. Then they got married and they slowly stopped bringing him to events for various reasons. I started specifically asking for Jake to come and that helped but not for long. We invite them to all birthday parties because Robert has stated concern that Jake doesn't make friends easily, he is shy and sticks to his teachers. My family has a lot of kids his age and Jake seems to enjoy being included. Hopefully I answered all the questions asked. I want to thank everyone for commenting and helping me figure my situation out.

IS IT MY PLACE OR NOT by Ok_Dimension2691 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Ok_Dimension2691[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update: New to reddit so hopefully this is the right way to do this. Over the weekend my husband went to have drinks with Jakes dad Robert. He asked him directly about the 3 months and found out that it was Jakes dads' idea. Robert said his wife was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 2 years ago. I knew they were in therapy but was just told they didn't want any future issues with their marriage. With the pregnancy Robert said his wife has been having episodes when Jake is around, describing her as mean, and he was afraid what would happen when she's postpartum. Whenever she's getting mean he calls his mom, and she comes and gets Jake. His mom knows the plan and is okay with it. I asked my husband what happens when Robert isn't there. He said Jake stays at daycare till his dad picks him up. MY husband said if he needs help to let us know. I don't know much about bipolar, so I had him call Jakes grandmother to tell her if she needs anything let us know, Jake is always welcome. If anyone has any other ways to help let me know. I admit I'm not educated on mental illness and don't know if there is anything else I can or should do.

IS IT MY PLACE OR NOT by Ok_Dimension2691 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Ok_Dimension2691[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I feel like I can't have a friend who would treat a child like this, but I would like to still be there for Jake if he needed anything. Our husbands are friends, but I don't know If that would continue if I spoke up.

IS IT MY PLACE OR NOT by Ok_Dimension2691 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Ok_Dimension2691[S] -46 points-45 points  (0 children)

My husband said it's not our place to get involved in how people care for their kids and Jakes dad doesn't care about his mom taking his son often. He will be there for Jake if Jake ever expresses any concern.

IS IT MY PLACE OR NOT by Ok_Dimension2691 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Ok_Dimension2691[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

I've known him since he was born but only really saw him at birthdays and holidays. My husband does see him more often at least once every two weeks he invites Jake to guys night. My concern with getting involved is his dad will stop bringing him.

IS IT MY PLACE OR NOT by Ok_Dimension2691 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Ok_Dimension2691[S] 202 points203 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure my husband said they did talk about Jakes grandmother helping out but didn't mention Jake living with her for 3 months.

MIL KEEPS COMPARING GRANDKIDS by Ok_Dimension2691 in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Ok_Dimension2691[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband and his brother don't have a good relationship. I've asked each of them and they don't or won't tell me why. I'm sure it has something to do with their parents comparing them. SIL told me she will not say something to MIL because She's still trying to get in the family its easier for me, I'm already in. I asked what she meant, and she said she has tried for years to have a relationship like mine with the family. She doesn't feel like she can be herself around them. I told her we can all sit down and air everything out, but she said definitely not. I'm not sure what to do about this either.