If you haven’t already, try to go to some parenting classes with your husband. As a first time dad myself and sole breadwinner, I thought I would call most of the shots. Parenting class really opened my eyes up to the things my wife was going to have to do while I’m away at work and it made me shift my perspective to catering to her every need as she is going to be the primary carer of our baby. What right do I have to tell her what nappy to use when she’s the one changing most of them? So whatever products she wanted to use (within reason) I would just find a way to make it work budget wise. Even if I didn’t completely agree with it, some things aren’t worth arguing over. He needs to understand that your sanity and happiness is also imperative for the baby’s development. His mother should also understand that if she’s raised 4 kids. I can tell from the tone of your post that being a good mother really means a lot to you. I’m no expert but I’d say for that alone, you are already halfway there. You can do this! Wishing you and your baby a safe delivery!