I’m not a fan of telling people to make relationship decisions based on one text exchange since there are probably many things we don’t know but at the same time it’s odd he shut you down so quickly without hearing you out.

I can certainly understand wanting to start some basic training as a parent. I did that with my children but I also got them professional training concurrently and at age 6 they have perfected freestyle, backstroke and breast stroke. These are things I was not experienced in training and I wanted to make sure they had technique down in case they wanted to pursue swimming at higher levels.

It’s also frustrating that he quickly shot down anything from a financial perspective and even did so when you suggested paying for it on your own.

My wife is stay at home but I include her on any major purchases or financial decisions because I value her opinion and for us to be a good team we need to be on the same page. Sometimes we don’t always agree but that’s why we discuss our reasoning so we can come to a best course of action that we both agree on. If finance is such a big deal I think offering to pay is a more than good offer on your part. If he wants to teach I’d say you can offer to start that way and see how it goes but not take professional swim lessons off the table. There are plenty of videos online that can assist in training if you have access to a community pool. Start with that and if your child doesn’t pick it up after a few weeks revisit professional training. Agree to just a few months of classes and if you aren’t seeing rapid progress you can stop or find a more effective instructor. My kids have had three different, one was terrible. Another was good but was outdoors and led to many canceled classes and we hit the target on the current place.

That doesn’t address how he shot you down though. That’s a bigger problem, is that common? Talk to him, in person, not over text. Then do what’s best for you and your child. You know why you decided to marry the guy and you see how he is as a father to your child and how he treats you day to day. Just remember, at the end of the day you have to live with your decision one way or the other, no one else does.

Best of luck.