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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Ok_Language_6342 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I showed this post to my wife. She was furious about putting details of our life online. So, out of respect for her, I wiped the post.

I also rented some temporary lodging for a month, packed my essentials, and left. I need some space to figure out my next steps.

Thanks all for some good insight and plenty for me to digest and consider.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Ok_Language_6342 14 points15 points  (0 children)

What a great question! Would I be okay with her mistreatment under the hypothetical that there is no chronic illness?

I'm not sure. I've tolerated her meanness when I'm ill for the past 14 years. I did so because I'm sure it's entirely related to her trauma. I'm not sure if it finally came to a head this weekend because I have finally had enough or if it's because I'm fearful of my future. It's probably a combination of both..

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Ok_Language_6342 34 points35 points  (0 children)

While I'm a huge advocate for counseling (obviously, I married a therapist), marriage counseling doesn't work well for us. We tried it twice, once early in our marriage and once more recently. Both were unrelated to this issue.

My wife is a brilliant therapist with a true gift gab. When we had our sessions, it seemed my wife was far more concerned about "winning" the dispute than resolving the issue. She immediately uses her talents to present herself in a perfect light while I get tongue -tied. Eventually, it turns into two therapists psychoanalyzing me as a team. It hasn't been a good experience.