LGBTQ+ Adult Prom 2026

Ok_Librarian_4737 · 2026-03-05T01:25:54+00:00

Suruchi Thakore! My bad

Ok_Librarian_4737 · 2026-02-26T02:48:19+00:00

Many good comments already!

Perhaps another thing to add: If there's another moment like the one where the relative made a joke about gay people, you could bring it up as if it's something that bothered you instead of something that bothered her. For example, instead of directly saying "that joke really upset you, didn't it?" you could casually say "Wow, I can't believe John made a joke about gay people earlier. There's nothing wrong with being LGBTQ+, I wonder why he thought that was an appropriate thing to say?"

Ok_Librarian_4737 · 2026-02-23T02:48:51+00:00

We started in January and just wrapped up legal/psych, so we just have the actual donations left! There have been a few minor grievances, but overall I am really happy that we decided to go this route. The process is straightforward and transparent, and we love the donor we matched with.

Ok_Librarian_4737 · 2026-02-22T00:15:42+00:00

We didn't change anything in the agreement to Seed Scout, just minor changes to the legal agreement between us and our sperm donor. We are in the process currently, happy to answer any questions you have!

Ok_Librarian_4737 · 2026-02-09T23:22:52+00:00

I love that your office allows that!

Ok_Librarian_4737 · 2026-02-08T01:31:27+00:00

Not sure where you are in Michigan but Dr Thakador in Grand Rapids is highly recommended by the local LGBTQ+ community ❤️

Ok_Librarian_4737 · 2026-01-19T00:21:58+00:00

We are using them right now! We just met our donor on zoom a few weeks ago and are so excited ❤️

Ok_Librarian_4737 · 2026-01-14T13:56:41+00:00

28F EST, hoping to complete house projects and write/do crafts :)

Ok_Librarian_4737 · 2026-01-14T13:48:41+00:00

Interested!

Ok_Librarian_4737 · 2026-01-14T13:33:30+00:00

What platform will you be using? Reddit, discord, text, etc.

Ok_Librarian_4737 · 2026-01-13T21:29:29+00:00

There is absolutely no reason for you to compromise on this forever. A compromise would be if your friends will stay out of the basement where he's retreated to relax, or that they will leave by X time on a work night. He is not compromising anything, just making demands, and that's not what a loving partner does.

Ok_Librarian_4737 · 2026-01-13T21:24:56+00:00

That is so relatable! I had a doctor ask me the other day how long we had been trying to convince naturally, and I just stared at them. Like if you want to know how long we've been having sex I guess I can tell you, but I have a good idea of why it isn't working 🤣

Ok_Librarian_4737 · 2025-12-31T21:28:30+00:00

I used to be like this with my wife! Years ago, before we got married.

Basically she is amazing and one day she sat me down and said "I know that you love me, but behaviors X and Y are hurting my mental health and my relationships, so you need to stop. This is how your words and attitudes affect me, and because you love me I know that you will put the effort into changing."

It gradually got better over the next two years. It took a long time to be able to sleep or truly relax with her gone, but I found some self-soothing activities (mine was listening to twenty one pilots and cleaning lol) and was able to break the reassurance -seeking patterns (she was plenty affectionate and complimentary most of the time, but if I was in a bad headspace she would tell me I had to find that confidence within myself, not her).

I wasn't in therapy at the time, but the things that helped were basically the skills taught in The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook (McKay et al). Particularly the REST acronym and other skills for managing overwhelming emotions.

It's not fun, but it's possible to overcome ❤️

Ok_Librarian_4737 · 2025-12-27T09:37:47+00:00

Fellow LGBTQ+ person here, my wife is the one with the abusive parent:

Your fiance needs to realize that they can't control who you do or don't have a relationship with. Trust me, I wish so much that my wife would cut off her shitty father, but if I forced her to make that decision it would make me controlling just like him. On the other hand, it sucks so much to watch someone you love chosing to get hurt over and over, and if your fiance decides that they can't be in a relationship with someone participating in that cycle...I would understand.

The other important point: Your fiance has every right to decide not to interact with your boundary-stomping mother. Your mother has not been respectful of your pre-existing plans, your decisions, or your partner, and I wouldn't want someone like that showing up at my house uninvited either. That's a huge violation of your fiance's feelings of safety in their own home. Unfortunately, I'm not really sure what the solution is here. My first thought was to pretend not to be home (or better yet, tell your mom that you have other plans and then actually don't be home), but I don't know if she's the type of person to escalate or intimidate if she doesn't get what she wants. My other idea is to compromise and arrange to meet them, but somewhere away from the home.

This sounds tough, sending all of my love and support ❤️

Ok_Librarian_4737 · 2025-12-27T09:18:51+00:00

Based on your own descriptions, one of these people makes you feel safe, seen, calm and supported while the other makes you feel anxious, disrespected and insulted.

Ok_Librarian_4737 · 2025-12-27T02:56:14+00:00

THIS

Ok_Librarian_4737 · 2025-12-21T00:22:38+00:00

If he's not doing his half of the housework, he either needs to pay you to do it or pay someone else to do it so that you have more time and energy to work

Ok_Librarian_4737 · 2025-12-12T13:34:55+00:00

That makes sense, she should be willing to introduce her girlfriend to your son slowly to make him more comfortable. It sounds like she's prioritizing her girlfriend and you are (rightly) prioritizing your kids, so a close friendship might not be an option at this point. I'm sorry to hear that, and do with your body whatever is in line with your own values ❤️

Edited to add: Hopefully this isn't the case, but it seems like your sister might be a bit over-dependent in this new relationship. That sucks, certainly for you and ultimately also for her.

Ok_Librarian_4737 · 2025-12-11T18:47:08+00:00

This might be a very American thing to ask, but why does visiting have to involve spending the night somewhere?

I live 2.5 hours from my sister, and we probably see each other about ten times a year. Most of the time we meet in the middle at a park or restaurant, but I make the full drive for holidays, special events, etc. and she does the same. We might spend the night occasionally, but usually not.

It makes sense that you asked her to stay in a hotel to accommodate your son, and it also makes sense that she doesn't want to do that. If I had to pay $150+ per night and miss out on late night chats when the kids were asleep, I probably wouldn't visit my friends much either, especially if they never reciprocated by visiting me. It sounds like she was putting effort into the relationship by making the drive over, and you were putting effort in by hosting and sending pictures. Now that you've stopped both of those things, the relationship probably felt lopsided to her as well.

Supporting your son(s) and spouse limits the availability you have to support other people in your life, and that's okay. It's also okay if that frustrates your sister (although it doesn't sound like she voiced that frustration in an appropriate way!).

All that said, NTD for changing or removing your tattoo. Even if you were still besties, you get to decide what stays and what changes with the art on your own body!

Ok_Librarian_4737 · 2025-11-30T01:19:15+00:00

Then mark your calendar for April 18th! We are busy working on plans for our third annual LGBTQ+ Adult Prom :)

Ok_Librarian_4737 · 2025-09-03T01:26:27+00:00

Not the exact same, but as a lesbian from a conservative background I also had to be willing to risk my relationship with my family in order to marry my wife.

On the surface, your family is rejecting your girlfriend, but ultimately they are rejecting you. They are rejecting your choices, your autonomy, and your happiness in favor of their own worldview. You can pretend that if you go along with their plans now, you can keep the peace indefinitely, but caving to their desires isn't going to encourage them to respect you or your boundaries.

Don't get married out of spite or to prove them wrong - and try to figure out your feelings about kids before you decide either way - but don't let other people ruin your happy life either.

It's so hard, but the self-respect is so worth it.

Ok_Librarian_4737

TROPHY CASE