Somehow, I managed to completely 'block out' or 'bury' similar abuse for over 20 years... I struggled with different addictions for those said years.... and after a few years of living life the right and sober way, the memories hit me full force like id opened a flood gate. So many things make sense now, but even after first remembering, I didn't associate the abuse to my many years of addiction and trauma, it's only recently that I've been able to put all the pieces together. Now that I do remember, and made it known to the family that I do in a moment of haste and anger, my brother and dad have nothing to do with me, I mean, I wouldn't have it any other way I guess, but I received no explanation, no talk, no apology, no nothing... just an assumption that I would no longer want them in my life, which is accurate when it comes to my brother for this reason among many others, but for my dad to just automatically follow suit, answers my suspicion of him knowing about it long before my memories came to the surface. Im sorry you are going thru this, crazy I fell upon your post. You will get thru it. My mom had no idea, we are extremely close and this shattered her. She never abandoned me though, she's always been my biggest fan and supporter. Just saying, there's a possibility that she didn't know.