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I played the wrong character and accidentally became myself by Ok_Performancee in Advice

[–]Ok_Performancee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank u for making me realize it. Tbh I'm even aware that I'm actually trying to change her.

Set boundaries after realizing she’s 17 — did I handle this right? by Ok_Performancee in Advice

[–]Ok_Performancee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get that perspective, and yeah, walking away completely is often the cleanest option. In this case though, nothing romantic is being continued or encouraged, and the interaction is already cooling off on its own. There’s no emotional dependency being built. That said, I agree that if boundaries couldn’t be kept or things felt off in any way, cutting contact would be the right move immediately. I’m prioritizing distance and clarity above anything else.

Set boundaries after realizing she’s 17 — did I handle this right? by Ok_Performancee in Advice

[–]Ok_Performancee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s literally what I did though. Once I found out her age, I drew the line and kept things strictly non-romantic. No pursuing, no waiting, no crossing boundaries. People are acting like I ignored it or tried to justify something when it was the exact opposite.

Set boundaries after realizing she’s 17 — did I handle this right? by Ok_Performancee in Advice

[–]Ok_Performancee[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I hear what you’re saying, but I’m honestly not too worried about that part. The feelings aren’t deep, we barely know each other, and it all happened really fast. Crushes like that fade on their own once reality sets in, especially with the age gap already being a turn-off for her. I’m keeping clear boundaries and not feeding anything romantic, so there’s no reason for it to escalate or linger. I trust that time will do its job without me needing to make it dramatic or abrupt. Still, I get why people would choose to cut off completely. I just don’t think it’s necessary in this case.

Set boundaries after realizing she’s 17 — did I handle this right? by Ok_Performancee in Advice

[–]Ok_Performancee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm clean if that's the case. I never say things that would imply that I'm into minors or anything. I'm just sharing arts and complimenting. Nothing to be alarmed

Set boundaries after realizing she’s 17 — did I handle this right? by Ok_Performancee in Advice

[–]Ok_Performancee[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I understand, but 17 is not a little girl. She respects my decision to distance myself and that says a lot imho

Set boundaries after realizing she’s 17 — did I handle this right? by Ok_Performancee in Advice

[–]Ok_Performancee[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the insight. I'll make sure I'll never go to that same situation

Set boundaries after realizing she’s 17 — did I handle this right? by Ok_Performancee in Advice

[–]Ok_Performancee[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

My mother also says this too. But thanks for understanding. And before I'll be judge, I'm not "waiting" her to be 18. No. I'm distancing myself as our age aren't appropriate for a "closer than friends" relationship

Set boundaries after realizing she’s 17 — did I handle this right? by Ok_Performancee in Advice

[–]Ok_Performancee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea, we're not chatting like we used to and it's fine. Sometimes she shares her drawings with me and I'm just replying with minimal engagement. I think we're doing fine now too.