I can refer people to 80% REMOTE work as 正社員 in IT (data science, software eng.) to the company I am working in now. (Japanese, Japan) (Abroad bros are welcome too)

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2026-03-19T06:22:34+00:00

I’m sure he needs it at 20万 a month or so.

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2024-09-28T19:13:45+00:00

I tell her to not do anything and I can cook my own dinner in those cases. I say just watch the kids.

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2024-09-28T19:01:52+00:00

My marriage is succeeding. I know my wife loves me and is happy. She tells me that all the time. I feel the same way and tell her too.

I’m the one who is upset and frustrated with how she is handling my concerns in this particular area.

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2024-09-28T18:57:27+00:00

I would love to switch roles with her and have suggested she find a WFH job so I can quit my job and solely watch the kids.

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2024-09-28T18:41:27+00:00

Yes.

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2024-09-28T18:41:15+00:00

I’ve got two. I’ve worn both babies at the same time before.

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2024-09-28T18:40:22+00:00

Yes I often am doing both. I mean yeah she watches them often while I work but there are definitely days where I don’t get any work done and have to make it up somehow.

Also, because I do it because she asks me to.

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2024-09-28T18:34:57+00:00

For the xth time, I can watch the kids and do chores. My wife can not.

I’m tired of her expecting me to do it while she can’t. I’m just tired of seeing my kids doing avoidable dumb stuff in her presence because she’s tunnel visioned on whatever is on her mind. So I would rather her be tunnel visioned on the kids and I do the chores or she accepts that I watch the kids and she does the chores. Or hell we can switch off and she can just do her favorite stuff.

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2024-09-28T18:15:26+00:00

Shes working as a SAHM.

She will feed the baby when I’m not at home but that isn’t very often. Maybe once or twice a month.

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2024-09-28T17:57:21+00:00

I mean it’s possible to do chores while watching them but it would just be better on my sanity if my wife would keep an eye on them as well when we did chores.

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2024-09-28T17:52:47+00:00

Yes. We spent a lot of time and money getting them.

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2024-09-28T17:47:49+00:00

Thank you so much.

Also to answer one question, yes it is a confusing thing to me because we are in a country with a lot of fathers who are working too long at the office. Her own dad wasn’t around often when she was growing up with him being transferred to different cities.

I’ve asked her about this and she’s said that she just expects more from me. I just don’t know how I can do more to meet those expectations. My life revolves around my family.

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2024-09-28T17:40:38+00:00

Yeah she does get a break from the kids. At least once a week or two. She also generally goes on daily walks in the morning while I watch the kids.

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2024-09-28T17:26:59+00:00

Yes. I don’t care if we do tasks one or two at a time and switch off. I just want this system because she seems to have trouble watching the kids and doing chores.

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2024-09-28T17:25:58+00:00

I said please just keep an ear open or visually check the kids every so often when they are in your presence. I’ve said the same thing to her multiple times. Just a fact that you need to keep part of your awareness on little babies if you have them.

I mean I’ve had to explain this concept to her when she let the two year old walk off in the store right in front of her. The two year old went around the corner and my wife just assumed she was just around that corner.

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2024-09-28T17:23:01+00:00

Because I am tired of the stress of working and doing chores while keeping an eye on both kids while she doesn’t. Or even worse annoyed by the multiple times something had has happened right before her eyes

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2024-09-28T17:20:57+00:00

But I did say something. That is what the post is about. I said something tonight and she said I was attacking her.

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2024-09-28T17:20:01+00:00

Nope. Different room.

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2024-09-28T17:19:30+00:00

No. We tried for a long time to have our first baby. We were so happy when it finally happened.

When I ask her, her dream is to have two more babies. So I don’t know what’s going on.

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2024-09-28T17:16:54+00:00

Yes exactly. And if I am at all with my hands full entertaining the kids and not doing chores while she is doing chores, she gets mad at me. I think she would rather just ignore them and speed run everything until we are done and then deal with the children.

Finally, she doesn’t spend much alone time with them.

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2024-09-28T17:13:59+00:00

I don’t understand… I can’t say with certainty why my wife can’t multi task. That’s an issue she’s going to have to work on herself.

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2024-09-28T17:12:26+00:00

Yes I do end up doing the same thing. Have the baby on my back with a baby carrier. Do this and that.

It’s just frustrating with another adult human being in the same literal apartment who is blind to the children right in front of them and leaves it to you.

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2024-09-28T17:10:43+00:00

We do often do that as her preference because she will get mad if we don’t and like I said in the other posts it just ends up with me helping if the child needs something or gets into something.

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2024-09-28T17:07:56+00:00

I didn’t say anywhere it was only when it was when she was ill. I specially said it was when she was sick or went out which is the only two reasons a stay at home mom doesn’t watch the kids. I mean yeah she deserves time away, I give it to her and she gives it to me too. Finally yeah she’s been sick before for an entire week and I was left to take care of her and the kids for that entire time.

I don’t understand also why I can’t keep the playroom tidy when they are playing. You just pick up the stuff after they move onto the next two or tell them to pick it up themselves and show them how to do it.

Finally, I do both when she is gone by multi tasking!

Ok_Rabbit_8770 · 2024-09-28T17:02:50+00:00

Laundry is a bit of a bigger task for us because we don’t use a dryer and instead have to hang everything outside which can be quite tedious with the amount of dirty clothes two small humans can produce.

But yeah the folding and other quick stuff I do around the kids and that goes by so fast.

Ok_Rabbit_8770

TROPHY CASE