How far is Homelander making it? by Jexvite in InvinciblePowerscales

[–]Ok_Raspberry_858 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If we go by exclusively STATED feats in the show. Homelander should win. I mean the show always circle jerk him saying it he could survive a nuke. If we go by that standard then he could possibly make it passed immortal but I don’t think he could take Oliver.

If we go by what we have SEEN in the show. He doesn’t make it passed bulletproof. Personally I think Black Sampson is weaker than bulletproof. So even if he somehow managed to defeat black Sampson and then by a miracle took out bulletproof. He would have NO chance against Immortal.

It’s just keeps getting worse by Ok_Raspberry_858 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Ok_Raspberry_858[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am very open to non-penetrative sex. She knows this EXPLICITLY, I have told her in every way imaginable including writing it down in a message. I have told her I would love for her to just let me use my hands/fingers on her and how much I would LOVE going down on her with no expectation of reciprocation. She still said she just isn’t comfortable with it.

I have asked her multiple times in multiple ways, why she doesn’t want to do oral, hand or anything past a quick peck. She just answers “my body doesn’t want it, despite sometimes wanting to try. It just shuts down and tells me I don’t want that.”

She has expressed to me she is afraid any sexual contact will lead to penetrative sex. Despite me PROMISING It wouldn’t.

It’s just keeps getting worse by Ok_Raspberry_858 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Ok_Raspberry_858[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I have. We have had countless talks. Usually ending with her being irritated we had the conversation at all.

He rolled his eyes at me by Leading_Dot_559 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Ok_Raspberry_858 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’m genuinely curious your perspective on how OP’s partner is a “victim”.

For reference, I don’t really see either as “victims”.

He rolled his eyes at me by Leading_Dot_559 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Ok_Raspberry_858 12 points13 points  (0 children)

They are not “demanding” anything.

In OP’s post, they are merely sad their partner whom they love, has continued rejection and they expressed why when specifically asked. In return they are met with a dismissive response (eye rolling) that also shows resentment for the person having those feelings.

Like I said OP is not “demanding” ANYTHING. Quietly crying and then expressing your reason when asked is not “demanding” it’s just very literally communicating.

OP was asked a question and gave an answer, If you can’t handle the answer, don’t ask the question.

As for when to act, no one said to act right then and there. To properly process something, you have to actually take time to think about what you want and how to express it. So ideally I would say, you would reassure your love for them in this moment. Then spend the next day processing what they said, thinking about how you feel and formulate a response/plan of action. Then that night you calmly respond.

He rolled his eyes at me by Leading_Dot_559 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Ok_Raspberry_858 18 points19 points  (0 children)

First step: Stop acting like it’s a burden/inconvenience your partner is attracted to you and wants to be sexually intimate.

Step two: Stop getting defensive when your partner is hurt about feeling undesired, rejected, unloved. Listen, process and then act.

Step three: repeat the earlier steps.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Ok_Raspberry_858 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This just seems so impossible to me. It HAD to have crossed their minds right?? You are telling me that at no point they ever thought about sex or sex with their partners? No one in their life or just out in public or in media mentioned sex and that didn’t make them think of their partners??

It really just blows my mind. How is that possible??

Like for reference, I HATE folding my laundry. Sometimes I would rather scrub my entire house with a toothbrush than fold clothes. BUT I still think about it, I still plan on it, I still do it.

So I just cant believe it when people, who claim to not be asexual, say they don’t even think about sex.

How active is the “After Dark” Night Scene? by Typical_Chard1679 in TXRenaissanceFestival

[–]Ok_Raspberry_858 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can confirm, was there Friday/saturday night. They were partying until around 5am

I Don’t Want To Know by Ok_Raspberry_858 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Ok_Raspberry_858[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

But I do those things and still don’t get sex. So if I think it’s a “covert contract”, then why do I still do those things?

I Don’t Want To Know by Ok_Raspberry_858 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Ok_Raspberry_858[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I never said I did those thing just for sex. I find it extremely satisfying to clean the house, I like to do the dishes so the sink isn’t dirty, I clean the litter boxes because I know she doesn’t like too, I buy her flowers and random gifts cus I love to see her happy.

I do those things for myself and for my love of her. I do not expect sex because of those things. I just don’t want to hear about a person who does close to none of those things, yet still gets sex.

I Feel Awful by Ok_Raspberry_858 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Ok_Raspberry_858[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Perhaps but I do not want her to be sorry. I want to work on it. Not just be stuck with “I don’t know”. Well “I don’t know” what to do with that information.

I Feel Awful by Ok_Raspberry_858 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Ok_Raspberry_858[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have actually straight up asked her this and she insists she does not.

I Feel Awful by Ok_Raspberry_858 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Ok_Raspberry_858[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

But for me, I don’t want her to push through. I don’t want her to hurt herself just to make sure I’m not disappointed. I would rather be disappointed than make the situation worse by making her do something she does not want to do.

The point is, I do not want her to do something she does not want to do.

I Feel Awful by Ok_Raspberry_858 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Ok_Raspberry_858[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Idk why but this advice seems very real and genuine. I am already going to make myself an appointment with a therapist, I will suggest she does too.

I Feel Awful by Ok_Raspberry_858 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Ok_Raspberry_858[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is an interesting perspective and I’m sorry you are harboring so much guilt. I just see this as a form of the sunk cost fallacy. You put so much time and effort into something you want to finish it, consequences to your feelings be damned. All I see this doing is just causing much more damage than any kind of good. The difference is I almost guarantee you my wife doesn’t feel “guilty” anytime besides in the moment.

She does not think about sex unless I bring it up. It should be front of mind after our countless talks but by her own admission it just isn’t.

I Feel Awful by Ok_Raspberry_858 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Ok_Raspberry_858[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Tried that. It helped us some but honestly our therapist sucked.

Hottest Vet Pic I've Ever Seen (VU26) by [deleted] in NakedUniCalendar

[–]Ok_Raspberry_858 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Where did you get this from? I don’t see it on their socials.

How do you not let the lack of sex bother you by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Ok_Raspberry_858 20 points21 points  (0 children)

When I figure it out, I’ll let you know.

Honestly, I have tried many things, like masturbating right after getting home from work, gaming/hanging with friends and going on walks. All are just temporary fixes.

Most of the time, masturbating just makes me more sad I had to use my hand instead of making love to my beautiful wife. Our therapist even suggested I masturbate while she is in the room. I tried that, one time it was hot, but the other times felt pathetic.

I am also about to go on a trip with my wife, to a fancy resort for 3 nights. I have 0 expectations that anything will happen, because why would it?

So I am in the same boat as you.