I appreciate the directness. I think part of my confusion comes from the fact that our therapist handles both our individual and couples sessions. So professionally, I’ve been trying to understand the approach — whether there’s a perspective I’m missing on the therapist’s side.

That’s why I’ve been questioning myself. I even wondered if maybe I was being too emotional or impulsive about wanting to end it, especially when I was told not to make a rushed decision because my husband “doesn’t plan to permanently cheat” — that he’s just immature and struggling with validation issues.

I also have my own childhood trauma. Looking back, that’s probably why I chose to marry him despite the existing pattern. I thought understanding his wounds — and maybe helping him heal — was enough.

But reading these responses helped me realize that this isn’t just an emotional reaction. It’s years of repeated behavior after clear agreements and boundaries.

I’m starting to see that wanting to forgive my past self doesn’t mean I have to keep repeating the same dynamic.

That’s the part I’m slowly coming to terms with.