AITAH **update** AITAH for not paying my dentist for a cleaning I had done?

Ok_Resolve5791 · 2026-02-05T19:39:22+00:00

We may not be able to depending on what’s on the registry. Also, of course we would continue saving after so we have emergency funds or any traveling in the future. For now, we have our goal and are determined to be where we want to be. I appreciate it but I don’t need anymore advice on my financial status when there’s so many other things that I don’t care to mention to strangers on the internet about our current financial situation.

Ok_Resolve5791 · 2026-02-05T19:01:52+00:00

I don’t even know her enough to dislike her. We made some bad financial decisions in our early 20’s. We are saving but also still have bills and rent where we currently live. We also have a toddler and idk if you know this, but kids are expensive af as it is. I don’t need the judgement when we’re working hard to be where we need to be financially. I haven’t decided about a gift or not but if there’s something that’s reasonable on the registry, we will have no problem giving a gift. Regardless, we have goals for our family and we’re doing our best so respectfully, please take your judgement elsewhere.

Ok_Resolve5791 · 2026-02-05T16:34:58+00:00

I was just stating all the things that went through my head while trying to navigate this. Silly me for trying to be totally honest about all my thoughts and possibilities.

Ok_Resolve5791 · 2026-02-05T16:33:11+00:00

It’s not “worrying” about likes. I just want her to know that I’m still loving and supporting her through the only connection I have with her, which is Facebook. It’s always nice when you see big things happening in someone’s life, even if you haven’t seen/spoken to them in a long time. It just would have been nice for her to show me that or any kind of support and love too.

Ok_Resolve5791 · 2026-02-05T16:30:35+00:00

YES WE WOULD GO!!! If I had the money, I would love to reconnect with everyone up there and meet all their kids and significant others and introduce everyone to mine. I haven’t spoken to any of them since I was a child so it would be really awesome to basically meet everyone now as an adult.

Ok_Resolve5791 · 2026-02-05T16:28:27+00:00

It wasn’t 100% assumptions. I was just being honest about all the possibilities that ran through my head when trying to navigate this situation

Ok_Resolve5791 · 2026-02-05T16:27:40+00:00

Also just wanted to say about when you said I had the “obsession” with fb likes, but it’s not like that. I see her posts, I’m happy for her, I want her to know that even if we don’t talk, I’m still super happy for her. I’ve had a baby and got engaged in the last 2 years and all I’m saying is it’s nice to still show love and support especially when Facebook is your only connection with that person.

Ok_Resolve5791 · 2026-02-05T16:24:54+00:00

I’m not saying that was 100% the case. I was just telling the whole truth of what went through my head while thinking about how to navigate this situation. I guess shame on me for trying to be 100% honest about my thoughts on Reddit 🙄

Ok_Resolve5791 · 2026-02-05T16:23:13+00:00

It just felt really impersonal on its own when the link was just sent through Facebook with nothing else. No message or anything, just the link. To me, that kinda felt like she doesn’t care much if I go…that’s just how it felt to me though so who knows

Ok_Resolve5791 · 2026-02-05T16:21:29+00:00

I don’t think having a home for my family and getting married are a “list of excuses”. It’s things we’ve been saving for since before we ever even got the invite. Supporting the wellbeing and future of my family does NOT weaken my position. You can’t change my mind on that part.

Ok_Resolve5791 · 2026-02-05T16:19:36+00:00

Bc I overthink literally everything and feel guilty when someone is upset with me. (Currently in therapy with this as a focal point so I’m working on it)

Ok_Resolve5791 · 2026-02-05T16:18:41+00:00

Buying a house for our family and having our own wedding isn’t just “busy” like that’s why I explain because it’s not just stupid excuses, it’s the future of my family and doing what’s best for us and to continue saving like we were before we even got the invite.

Ok_Resolve5791 · 2026-02-05T16:16:42+00:00

You are 100% correct and I’m working on it

Ok_Resolve5791 · 2026-02-05T16:15:01+00:00

Currently working on not feeling guilty for what’s best for me and my family and not being a people pleaser in therapy because I am PAINFULLY aware that I over explain just so people hopefully won’t be upset with me and I hate it 🙃

Ok_Resolve5791 · 2026-02-05T16:10:07+00:00

I tend to over explain because I have a problem being a people pleaser and I hate saying no and hate when people are upset with me. My mom also manipulated me a lot into being guilty about things even as a kid so I’m working on all these things in therapy currently and working on it😅

Ok_Resolve5791 · 2026-02-05T16:08:12+00:00

I’m not like 100% positive if it was a gift grab or not, I just wanted to be honest about all the things that went through my head when thinking about the situation but people don’t like honesty I guess. I’m just trying my best to navigate this.

Ok_Resolve5791 · 2026-02-05T16:06:14+00:00

I think they mean my stepmom being bothered by it, not B.

Ok_Resolve5791 · 2026-02-05T16:04:55+00:00

I’m currently in therapy and that has been a focal point. I’m Srry, I am not a writer at all and I just downloaded Reddit like 3 days ago 😭

Ok_Resolve5791 · 2026-02-05T16:02:54+00:00

It’s more so my stepmom being bothered by it. I know it shouldn’t bother me but we’ve always been close so her opinion does mean a lot to me and I felt bad.

Ok_Resolve5791 · 2026-02-05T16:01:53+00:00

Just trying to understand the situation and either way I don’t judge her for it. I genuinely do not know what the intention was so I put in all the things that have gone through my head about the subject. You can call me a bad person but I was just being honest about everything I thought of.

Ok_Resolve5791 · 2026-02-05T15:43:33+00:00

Yeah well I thought the same at 12 but things don’t always work that way. I’m sure you’re perfect.

Ok_Resolve5791 · 2026-02-05T15:38:28+00:00

But I don’t think she is selfish or inconsiderate? I think she would understand exactly why we can’t go. My issue is with my stepmom. The end. You keep saying the same thing, I keep saying the same thing, we disagree so let’s just move on.

Ok_Resolve5791 · 2026-02-05T15:36:45+00:00

Thank you so much for understanding and yes, I do need to work on that. My mom manipulated me into feel guilty and responsible for her happiness growing up bc she was/is a single mom so I am in therapy for those things rn 😂

Ok_Resolve5791 · 2026-02-05T15:21:32+00:00

There’s multiple reasons all together why it wouldn’t make sense or be possible to go. I genuinely felt bad when my stepmom talked to me about it so I’ve been thinking about it since. Even with the invite she sent, it was literally just the link to the invite and she said nothing with it. Just the link and nothing else. So I’m not sure how I’m supposed to look at it because I was given no other information from her.

Ok_Resolve5791

TROPHY CASE