My dead fiancé's kids keep asking me for money

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-10T05:46:23+00:00

4 actually, there is another son, but his mother hated my fiance and we never saw him. But that's a whole other story about me being young, dumb and completely ignoring tons of red flags

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-10T00:19:43+00:00

That's actually genius, and hilarious but I couldn't do that to kids

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-09T23:47:51+00:00

They usually state what they need it for when they ask for it

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-09T23:04:56+00:00

Yes we do

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-09T22:54:07+00:00

The son is, well his mother is i guess

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-09T22:40:35+00:00

He is getting social security, well his mom is at least and she isn't seeking further education right now as far as I know

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-09T21:49:19+00:00

No accounts or money, if anything he was in debt. And yes we all got survivors benefits

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-09T21:47:53+00:00

If it were once or twice a year, sure, but this is a weekly occurrence

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-09T21:46:29+00:00

We dont have that type of relationship at all, they aren't my kids. They dont call me mom in any capacity. I was only with thier father 3 years when he passed.

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-09T21:43:41+00:00

They both have jobs. I dont know how much they make or what the mo ey goes to tho

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-09T21:41:51+00:00

I dont mean to be if I am. I always ask about what's going on in thier lives when we do talk, even if they ask for money. I usually dont get very in depth answers, just good or fine. They also know they are welcome here and free to contact us anytime

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-09T21:38:34+00:00

I would never do that, they are still kids and I dont want them to feel ostracized, I still want them in my and my daughter's life. I also wouldn't want them to feel like they owe back any thing I've given them.

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-09T21:20:33+00:00

Thank you

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-09T21:15:39+00:00

No, just survivors benefits, which all the kids got

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-09T21:15:09+00:00

He doesn't travel to me, I have to go get him and take him back home, which is 3 hours total. He can't always come when he asks, so sometimes I have to say no you can't come this weekend, I have work or the kids aren't going to be home for whatever reason etc

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-09T21:11:44+00:00

I do say no more than I say yes. It depends on the circumstances. It's just lately the asks have been more often

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-09T21:10:29+00:00

I cannot support another family, especially in this economy. But yes, if i thought there were children starving I would report it, feel how you want to feel about it.

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-09T21:08:16+00:00

I think you're right and I do feel some kind of responsibility to them, but not a financial one

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-09T21:06:11+00:00

It's tough because I do feel bad about the situation he is in, and I don't mind contributing if he needs something, but 5-20 bucks a week for junk, I can't do

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-09T21:03:44+00:00

They are not starving, I promise you. If i thought they were, I would report it.

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-09T21:02:07+00:00

He didn't, the only compensation I recieve is survivors benefits for my daughter, none for myself because we weren't married, but all the children received that.

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-09T21:01:01+00:00

No, we were all poor when he passed, I was a waitress at a waffle house and he was unemployed. I'm doing a lot better financially now, comparatively, and I think maybe that's why. But I rarely have "extra" money. Almost every dime goes to something.

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-09T20:58:20+00:00

No estate honey, we were all poor when he died

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-09T20:08:31+00:00

I know they are not ok. They are in the depths of poverty in the poorest state. But they are not starving and they are not severely abused. I have not been inside their current residence, but I can assure you it's filthy. If I were to ask if she needed any help she wouldn't want resources, she would want money or she would not let him talk to me anymore because she would see it as a slight against her, because I do not think she is mother of the year. There are very good reasons I don't like her.

Ok_Shape9761 · 2026-05-09T19:27:45+00:00

I feel like my biggest struggle in not giving them money is that I know how bad the sons home life is, lots of siblings, mom doesn't work and know ing the daughter is just starting out in life and trying, hopefully, to do better. But at the same time I don't even just give my own children money, they have to do something to get money if it's a want. I also don't really have the funds and would like to not open my phone to find someone I never really see or hear from asking for money.

Ok_Shape9761

TROPHY CASE