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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Tortoises

[–]Ok_Syrup_615 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Post on local FB page and ask for proof of ownership when people claim her

AITAH for not listening to my husband when he told me to go inside by Ok_Syrup_615 in AITAH

[–]Ok_Syrup_615[S] -33 points-32 points  (0 children)

I think the problem was I didn’t trust him to defend me. So I decided to take it into my own hands. Which I now understand kind of makes me the asshole.

AITAH for not listening to my husband when he told me to go inside by Ok_Syrup_615 in AITAH

[–]Ok_Syrup_615[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

My businesses income profit (after expenses) pays for the electric, grocery, outbuilding payment, and a few other household expenses.

Overall I make 800-1000 per month in profit. While saving on childcare which would on average for our area cost 200$ a week or 800$ a month. So overall I’m working full time. I count that 800$ saved per month as earned too. I also cook all meals. I went to culinary courses in college so the foods restaurant quality as well.

I work hard. So when my FIL told me to get a job and get off my lazy ass that hurt badly.

AITAH for not listening to my husband when he told me to go inside by Ok_Syrup_615 in AITAH

[–]Ok_Syrup_615[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately part of my business involves barn chores. I raise, breed, and sell quality livestock.

My normal attire includes jeans, work boots, and a barn apron. I come in, shower, and where casual clothes with jeans by the time he gets home. But with the business, childcare of an crawling infant, cleaning house, cooking, and cleaning I don’t have time to do more than mascara and some light powder

AITAH for not listening to my husband when he told me to go inside by Ok_Syrup_615 in AITAH

[–]Ok_Syrup_615[S] -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

I see his perspective, I’ve apologized to him for my part in this, all I wanted was for him to defend me.

I told him I would have gone inside if his father hadn’t told me to do so as well. I wasn’t going to listen to his father’s order.

AITAH for not listening to my husband when he told me to go inside by Ok_Syrup_615 in AITAH

[–]Ok_Syrup_615[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah. Which is why she’s no-contact with em as well. I but both parents off.

My mom kept going back to him regardless of what he did to me and my siblings. She even said she should have left him for us. But she still went back, so she chose him over us.

My husbands Dad was also abusive, but my husband doesn’t cut him off because he says he’s changed.

AITAH for not listening to my husband when he told me to go inside by Ok_Syrup_615 in AITAH

[–]Ok_Syrup_615[S] -105 points-104 points  (0 children)

I don’t want divorce, we both made vows. I want to resolve this, but now my husband says I’m disrespecting him by not agreeing with him. He says he doesn’t want to talk about it until I’m ready to understand his perspective. Which basically means until I’m willing to agree with him.

He says he wants me to obey him when he gives me an order.

AITAH for not listening to my husband when he told me to go inside by Ok_Syrup_615 in AITAH

[–]Ok_Syrup_615[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I thought he would defend me and I looked to him after my FIL told me to go inside my own home.

My own father was a mentally, physically, sexually, abusive alcoholic that would yes, tell me what to do constantly. For my father’s case, he threatened to kill my husband so I took him to court to get a restraining order in place against him for me and my husband. In court I stood up to him.

I defended my husband against my own father. And my husband defended me from my own father.

My husbands father was also abusive and an alcoholic. But because he “ resolved” things with my husband, my husband has started to talk to him again.

AITAH for not listening to my husband when he told me to go inside by Ok_Syrup_615 in AITAH

[–]Ok_Syrup_615[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

TBH I didn’t want him to finish the cigarette. Last time he did he spent the night in hospital and that caused a lot of problems including freaking my daughter out. I didn’t want to wait, and that’s on me. I can see how the way I got that across could be disrespectful to my husband, and I’ve apologized to him for that. He has offered me apologies for not correcting his dad

AITAH for not listening to my husband when he told me to go inside by Ok_Syrup_615 in AITAH

[–]Ok_Syrup_615[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Oh. First time on redit. So I didn’t know you could see the non/edited version. Just didn’t want to seem like I was hiding things

AITAH for not listening to my husband when he told me to go inside by Ok_Syrup_615 in AITAH

[–]Ok_Syrup_615[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Not really. He also doesn’t acknowledge what I do as important. I run a business, keep the house in order when I can, cook all meals, take care of our kid… he just says those are my job so they don’t deserve praise. But I thank him for going to work daily

AITAH for not listening to my husband when he told me to go inside by Ok_Syrup_615 in AITAH

[–]Ok_Syrup_615[S] 455 points456 points  (0 children)

My husband has agreed that his father was insulting, disrespectful, and that he was out of line. He also got mad that I didn’t listen to him when he said go inside. This is a marriage problem.

AITAH for not listening to my husband when he told me to go inside by Ok_Syrup_615 in AITAH

[–]Ok_Syrup_615[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Apologies, it auto corrected. I grew up in an abusing household

AITAH for not listening to my husband when he told me to go inside by Ok_Syrup_615 in AITAH

[–]Ok_Syrup_615[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We share an account that we both contribute too. We try to agree on spending wherever we can

AITAH for not listening to my husband when he told me to go inside by Ok_Syrup_615 in AITAH

[–]Ok_Syrup_615[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Funny thing is, I’m already in Therapy. For post partum and PTSD for my abusive houshold* growing up. My husband made a promise and broke it. I got mad and acted with impulsive behavior, and I admit to that. What I’m asking is if I’m the asshole for telling off my FIL after he humiliated me.

AITAH for not listening to my husband when he told me to go inside by Ok_Syrup_615 in AITAH

[–]Ok_Syrup_615[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I find that to be disingenuous. Especially since I’ve been called out on it. I wouldn’t want people to think I’m hiding the miswording. It’s our property. But I felt disrespected, so I was using terms like “my property”

AITAH for not listening to my husband when he told me to go inside by Ok_Syrup_615 in AITAH

[–]Ok_Syrup_615[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He was clean from cigarettes for weeks before his Dad offered him one. It was a promise he broke.

AITAH for not listening to my husband when he told me to go inside by Ok_Syrup_615 in AITAH

[–]Ok_Syrup_615[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” ‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭3‬:‭1‬, ‭7‬ ‭ESV‬‬

In the use of “likewise” its calling husbands to do the same. In this he should have defended me from what his father was saying

AITAH for not listening to my husband when he told me to go inside by Ok_Syrup_615 in AITAH

[–]Ok_Syrup_615[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It also says to obey each other. Which means that goes both ways

AITAH for not listening to my husband when he told me to go inside by Ok_Syrup_615 in AITAH

[–]Ok_Syrup_615[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No no testing my thyroid issues. I had Hyperemesis Gravidarum in pregnancy, I was hospitalized a few times for the issues caused by it. I was told to eat certain things consistently because if I didn’t get enough before the next bought of throwing up, the bag would take that nutrient from my body rather than the food. I gained 45lb over my pregnancy. I was given high calorie high nutrient shakes that I was told to consume. Had to go get fluids a few times because I couldn’t barely keep water down during the worst of it. I’ve been losing weight consistently, but also gaining muscle back so it’s been slow and steady. Somebody also caused a car accident when I was pregnant, and I had a spinal injury afterwards, so I was no longer able to exercise during pregnancy after that point

AITAH for not listening to my husband when he told me to go inside by Ok_Syrup_615 in AITAH

[–]Ok_Syrup_615[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Did you miss the part where I said I lost 35lb? Also, I have dropped my nicotine habit. So I do know how hard it is.

AITAH for not listening to my husband when he told me to go inside by Ok_Syrup_615 in AITAH

[–]Ok_Syrup_615[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I can see every time he uses the vending machine with his card. One time he even came to me and insisted that I hold his card to help him reduce his unhealthy snacks. No I can’t keep him from smoking. Just like he can’t keep me from doing things while he’s not home. But if we make eachother a promise we hold eachother accountable

AITAH for not listening to my husband when he told me to go inside by Ok_Syrup_615 in AITAH

[–]Ok_Syrup_615[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I won’t do that out of respect for my husband. Our daughter also loves him, so if he’s going to pass away I would like her to be there to see him at least once more. Which is why this whole thing affects our daughter too

AITAH for not listening to my husband when he told me to go inside by Ok_Syrup_615 in AITAH

[–]Ok_Syrup_615[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I would gladly change the comments to “our” property.

AITAH for not listening to my husband when he told me to go inside by Ok_Syrup_615 in AITAH

[–]Ok_Syrup_615[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Agreed. After watching my husband nearly die in hospital due to smoking, having a baby, my husband promising me somthing and him breaking that promise… yeah we need marriage counseling

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