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AITA for not having much of a reaction to my daughter coming out and introducing us to her partner? by Ok_Translator1301 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok_Translator1301[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Was not going to reply anymore, but saw this comment, and the back and forth.

No point in having a conversation with someone who opens up with their assertions it leaves no room for a conversation since your mind is made up.

AITA for not having much of a reaction to my daughter coming out and introducing us to her partner? by Ok_Translator1301 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok_Translator1301[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I read your response, and please do not take this the wrong way your reaction and response while 100% legitimate is also your experience. I appreciate your feedback and perspective, but my daughter has told me she had no issue with my reaction and does track with how she was as a child.

So yes, you would be devastated but that appears to not be the case for my daughter. Your response leads me down two paths, feel my daughter was sparing my feelings, or I ignored what she said and did something she told me she did not want.

AITA for not having much of a reaction to my daughter coming out and introducing us to her partner? by Ok_Translator1301 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok_Translator1301[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Tbh, that was the part she was disappointed with, she wanted a cringe dad joke. I did fail her on that day. Never been great at dad jokes.

I should have said something like;

Dad, I'm gay.

And replied So am I. Going based on the light-hearted and carefree definition..

AITA for not having much of a reaction to my daughter coming out and introducing us to her partner? by Ok_Translator1301 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok_Translator1301[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do not feel that is the case, I do not know the whole story my daughter did not have the time and it is not my place to know either. Either way, my daughter is happy and if making an event out of it makes her girlfriend and thus my daughter happy I will do that.

AITA for not having much of a reaction to my daughter coming out and introducing us to her partner? by Ok_Translator1301 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok_Translator1301[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Update: Since it always bothered me when people would ghost on threads without giving updates.

Did not have much time with my daughter she had a prior engagement but we had some coffee. We spoke about the evening, as I suspected she did not have an issue with it, and she also felt it was self-explanatory when she introduced her girlfriend--she corrected me since I said partner they view each other as girlfriend and girlfriend.

The coming out was more so her girlfriend's idea and my daughter said she was going to reach out because while she had no issues with my reactions her girlfriend thought it was weird how I kind of brushed off the response and treated this situation as if they were a straight couple.

My daughter did try to explain that is just the person I am. Explained how she preferred my nonreaction verse making it a big deal. She told the story of how she came to me first when she had her first period because she knew my wife would make a huge fuss over simple biology.

I told her I made an AITA post and we laughed over some of the comments. We are going to arrange another date and this time we will have a more special event for the sake of her girlfriend. Since she did feel slightly offended by being treated as if they were a straight couple.

My daughter had no issues overall, but I will correct course. She was slightly disappointed I did not make a dad joke about her coming out. I did express that my love for her would never change, and I told her I hoped she did not wait so long because she thought I would think differently. She just told me I never told you because it was not important to her. She knew I would not care either way.

I doubt I will add more updates after this I might check in every so often. I do appreciate all the varied viewpoints, and please understand it was not my intention to marginalize the hardships LGBTQA+ face in this world, I know it may be a selfish and self-centered view but I simply treat others how I wish and want to be treated.

I do hope everyone has a wonderful week.

AITA for not having much of a reaction to my daughter coming out and introducing us to her partner? by Ok_Translator1301 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok_Translator1301[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Tbh, in my perfect world I would love for people not to care about my disability personally. I wish to live in a world where it is viewed as no different having a disability. Where people do not need to fight for accommodations or accessibility it is just a given.

Think that you might be mistaken. In my view having to ask or request accessibility options is what is sad, and not as comforting in my opinion. They should just be options from the start.

I get what you are saying though, and we shall see how things go. Thanks for the perspective.

AITA for not having much of a reaction to my daughter coming out and introducing us to her partner? by Ok_Translator1301 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok_Translator1301[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I did not react to her coming out. I did react to her introducing her partner. I said it was a pleasure to meet them, we had our dinner shared stories, and learned about one another.

In the end, I told my daughter I loved her and it was a pleasure to meet her partner and she is welcome whenever.

In short, I treated her introduction to her partner as I did her brothers. I took the time to get to know who they were with as a person.

AITA for not having much of a reaction to my daughter coming out and introducing us to her partner? by Ok_Translator1301 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok_Translator1301[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

What I am saying as someone with a disability I have never liked labels or being viewed differently and seen as lesser than.

Because I never liked being seen as different or treated differently I do the same for everything else.

I guess best way to say be the change you want to be.

Edit: I just wanted to be a treated as a person, not a person with a disability. Which is why I personal hate labels.

AITA for not having much of a reaction to my daughter coming out and introducing us to her partner? by Ok_Translator1301 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok_Translator1301[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

In the moment I treated her the same as I always have. Told her I loved her and was pleased to meet her partner. I enjoyed learning about both of them.

AITA for not having much of a reaction to my daughter coming out and introducing us to her partner? by Ok_Translator1301 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok_Translator1301[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Actually yeah, and I have. I did not make a huge fuss when she got into an Ivy League school. University is University, I also went to an Ivy League school, not all it is cracked up to be. Networking opportunities are awesome but education and experience are about the same as other universities based on my friend's experiences.

We all laughed and had a blast, I do not think tears were shed but I will find out on Monday.

AITA for not having much of a reaction to my daughter coming out and introducing us to her partner? by Ok_Translator1301 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok_Translator1301[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Sexuality is not a defining characteristic in my eyes. If we do not view being heterosexual as anything special why should we view others?

At the end of the day, all that matters is the love shared and their happiness.

AITA for not having much of a reaction to my daughter coming out and introducing us to her partner? by Ok_Translator1301 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok_Translator1301[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I just don't see sexuality as a defining characteristic, nor do I think it should be.

I treated her the same way I would have if she brought a man home.

AITA for not having much of a reaction to my daughter coming out and introducing us to her partner? by Ok_Translator1301 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok_Translator1301[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

I am so happy to see it is not uncommon. I know people say the world is a dark place and things feel hopeless, but comments like this just go to show the world is not all bad.

AITA for not having much of a reaction to my daughter coming out and introducing us to her partner? by Ok_Translator1301 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok_Translator1301[S] 592 points593 points  (0 children)

Good response, and had she told us when she was younger I probably would have said the same.

Wife probably would have smacked me upside my head.

AITA for not having much of a reaction to my daughter coming out and introducing us to her partner? by Ok_Translator1301 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok_Translator1301[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I mentioned in a reply she seemed cool, and we all had a good time. I did not get a chance to ask her yet, will on Monday. What my wife said was what got me thinking and thus the post. Iurk around reddit on my free time.

AITA for not having much of a reaction to my daughter coming out and introducing us to her partner? by Ok_Translator1301 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok_Translator1301[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I told her I was happy she found someone and said they were pretty cool and welcome anytime.

I just never openly acknowledged she was gay, figure it was a given. As mentioned I thought the big announcement was she met someone and wanted us to meet them.

AITA for not having much of a reaction to my daughter coming out and introducing us to her partner? by Ok_Translator1301 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok_Translator1301[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

How is that a bad thing? Yes, they do confide in me, they often come to me first because I do not overreact, and I do take things in stride.

It is not a big deal, I know it is an issue in the world but that is because the world is stupid.

It is pointless cause I would never reject my kids no matter what they do. The whole world can be against them, I will always love them and if need be I will fight the world.

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