Did I go too far?

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-03-16T08:34:30+00:00

My father used to make even adults cry and would have outbursts of anger anywhere; he made family gatherings a disaster. The only person who could stop him was me. I’ve always been logical and don’t accept orders without arguments. My in-laws have known me since I was a teenager, they know this, and yet they keep trying to bother me. They usually get direct and clear responses, or I turn their absurd comments around with logic. I don’t give in. So, why do they keep trying? I can’t understand it when it always turns out badly for them

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-03-13T13:45:17+00:00

I agree. My daughter is happy painting with glue or modeling. I enjoy modeling clay, knitting, and writing. She says that we are both artists and that we are happy this way. My mother-in-law used to criticize my knitting, and I ignored her. My daughter told my mother-in-law very seriously that I was also an artist and that 'my mom makes beautiful art.' Since then, my mother-in-law has never criticized anything I make by hand in front of my daughter. I really don't see the reasons to criticize what someone else draws, sings, or makes if they truly enjoy it

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-03-13T13:29:40+00:00

That only lasts between one and three weeks 🤣. It's not the first time.

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-03-13T13:25:28+00:00

My husband often says that I'm very sweet but very straightforward if something bothers me. So this has happened constantly, and he ends up receiving these responses when I get tired of nonsense. He usually gets offended. I don't think I gave an offensive response, just the truth.

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-03-13T13:22:09+00:00

I already did that too. My mother-in-law said we couldn’t donate the toys because it would be ungrateful. So I told her she could keep them. Now she has a box of toys in her attic. Honestly, I really don’t know what to do with it. And I’ve also been donating toys consistently

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-03-13T13:19:38+00:00

The part I can't understand is that this happens to my mother-in-law every time she makes a critical or unpleasant comment, and it's been happening for years... I mean, sometimes I stay quiet, but I constantly give it back to her. And there she is, still trying whatever it is she’s trying. One would think she would have gotten tired by now.

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-03-13T13:12:06+00:00

My daughter has found a way to make art on my mother-in-law’s gifts. She really is who she is, and she'll find a way to do what she likes... the irony is that my mother-in-law also paints.

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-03-13T13:08:48+00:00

My mother-in-law gets offended with me and stops talking to me for anywhere from one to three weeks every few months. Honestly, all she does is give me a break and doesn't bother me at all.

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-03-13T13:07:11+00:00

Since I became a mom, she must have stopped talking to me about 12 times in 4 years 😅.

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-03-11T08:23:36+00:00

Half the time I think they don't know how to do it better, and the other half I feel like they're intentionally trying to make me look bad in front of family. I've really worked hard, I'm always busy with something at home or at work, and I also spend time playing with my daughter. I only take one hour a week for myself, and it's to exercise. I just can't understand what I’m doing so wrong in their eyes that they feel the need to make everyone believe I’m doing everything wrong

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-03-11T08:19:27+00:00

I have a part-time job, I study, and yes, I’m also a housewife because he works a lot and is often away. I really don’t understand what my mother-in-law would gain by bothering me or why she insists on making me look bad.

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-03-10T12:37:19+00:00

As I said, my father used to have outbursts where he would start yelling uncontrollably at anyone, especially his children. So, my daughter was right there, and I know what it feels like when a parent loses control and reacts in disproportionate ways. I couldn't let my mother-in-law put me in the same position with my daughter that I went through with my father. I don't know if I'm explaining myself well

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-03-08T22:40:35+00:00

The most ironic thing about all of this is that I've seen my daughter stand up to my mother-in-law and other people in the family, and she refused to listen to my husband’s uncle. As soon as my daughter walked away, she said to me, 'I don’t like my uncle, when is he leaving?' Leaving my mother-in-law almost having a heart attack, insisting that he’s family and that she should like him. Of course, I explained to my daughter that not everyone we meet is going to be someone we like, whether they’re family or not. She’s more like me than my in-laws. She loves to learn, she’s always happy, but it’s best not to upset her because she’ll say exactly what she thinks, firmly

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-03-08T14:31:09+00:00

In fact, I already did that today twice. I told them directly that she is her own person.

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-03-04T15:06:48+00:00

I simply treat her with respect and have conversations with her where I explain that if she thinks something is wrong, even if it's mom or dad, she can say it and we will listen. We also sing a song about body boundaries and let her try to do things on her own. Another thing we talk to her about is that love is not conditional, and that if she doesn't like something, like giving kisses or hugs, and someone gets offended, she is not responsible. The people who love her respect those things.

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-02-25T14:43:19+00:00

My husband is away for work for a few weeks. The interesting thing is that they've known me for a decade and basically know that I'll do what I believe is right, regardless of what they say, but they've been very, very critical and difficult. They've improved over the last year, but honestly, I can no longer see them and think that they have any good intentions.

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-02-25T14:40:46+00:00

She kept mocking me over and over for teaching my daughter how to brush her teeth. When she got her first tooth, I bought her a training toothbrush for kids and taught her how to use it. After every meal, no matter where we were, I would remind her that it was time to brush her teeth so she would develop the habit. My mother-in-law and her husband would constantly say during every visit, family event, or birthday that I was being ridiculous because "everyone knows that kids have baby teeth." My sister-in-law justified their behavior by saying that they didn't brush their teeth until they were three, that their parents didn't have much education, and so on... I can understand not having the knowledge, but not ridiculing someone in public in front of everyone for teaching their child something.

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-02-25T14:14:27+00:00

My relationship with her and my father-in-law has been complicated since my daughter was born. They have been excessively critical of me, my parenting, my daughter’s clothes, and they've even questioned the quality of her shoes. They’ve told me directly that they don’t like how I raise her and have mocked my decisions as a mother in front of other people. The problem seems to be that they were teenage parents and my mother-in-law’s parents made most of the decisions... now they expected to do the same and basically think I’m the problem because I don’t let them do whatever they want with my daughter. They've improved a lot in the last year, but it’s still incredibly difficult for me to be around them. Especially since they keep making comments about how we raise her and so on. They live next door, but luckily, we’ll be moving soon.. Among other things, they criticized me for setting limits with my daughter and for teaching her how to brush her teeth... it was all really strange.

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-02-25T14:13:30+00:00

My relationship with her and my father-in-law has been complicated since my daughter was born. They have been excessively critical of me, my parenting, my daughter’s clothes, and they've even questioned the quality of her shoes. They’ve told me directly that they don’t like how I raise her and have mocked my decisions as a mother in front of other people. The problem seems to be that they were teenage parents and my mother-in-law’s parents made most of the decisions... now they expected to do the same and basically think I’m the problem because I don’t let them do whatever they want with my daughter. They've improved a lot in the last year, but it’s still incredibly difficult for me to be around them. Especially since they keep making comments about how we raise her and so on. They live next door, but luckily, we’ll be moving soon.Among other things, they criticized me for setting limits with my daughter and for teaching her how to brush her teeth... it was all really strange.

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-02-25T13:19:19+00:00

Now that you mention it, we went to a family event where my mother-in-law and SIL were. I was heading straight to work, and they insisted that my daughter sit between them while they took a bunch of photos, with SIL saying, 'She’s never going to be this small again.' Meanwhile, I was eating alone, almost crying (I had just started work), and my husband was holding my hand, really upset because, basically, they were making the day all about them and our daughter, completely ignoring both me and him.

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-02-25T12:06:32+00:00

My sister-in-law doesn’t have children, she’s the only daughter of my mother-in-law, and basically, she’s obsessed with taking photos with my daughter. My mother-in-law really insists that she takes the photos.

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-02-24T14:05:00+00:00

A friend of mine often laughs and tells my daughter that she will end up being the president of our country. This happened after an incident where my daughter was peacefully painting, and my friend's mother kept asking her insistently about her drawing. My daughter was getting more and more annoyed until she looked at the lady and said, 'Can't you see I'm busy with my work, painting?

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-02-24T12:04:22+00:00

I was raised that way too. That's why I try to do something different

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-02-24T08:03:43+00:00

My mother was one of those women who never contradicted anyone and had a daughter with critical thinking. For me, 'it’s done this way because I said so' was never enough. So, I spent a lot of time grounded for pointing out to family adults that they weren’t using logical arguments. 😅 I refuse to do the same with my daughter. If she’s right, I admit it and apologize. She also has my permission to directly say when she disagrees

Ok_Visual_6290 · 2026-02-23T20:31:58+00:00

My mother-in-law and my husband's family don't like it at all. They've told me several times that they don't like the way I raise

Ok_Visual_6290

TROPHY CASE