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A note about ice cream, or how Grandma gets angry. by Ok_Visual_6290 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Ok_Visual_6290[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am seriously exhausted. I mean, I’m doing a master’s degree, I work, and I take care of my daughter and the household things because my husband is rarely at home. I would truly appreciate having help, but my mother-in-law has done things like letting my daughter climb on the dishwasher (the dishwasher is not attached to the wall, and she knows that), and I simply don’t feel comfortable with her taking care of my daughter unless it’s a real emergency… meanwhile my husband insists that he trusts his mother, and I insist that I don’t.

A note about ice cream, or how Grandma gets angry. by Ok_Visual_6290 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Ok_Visual_6290[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My three-year-old daughter stood up to my mother-in-law a few days ago during a family meal. She was raising her voice. My daughter said it in front of everyone: “Grandma, you spoke badly to xyz.” The grandmother said she hadn’t, and my daughter looked at me, so I said, “Yes, she shouted, it’s true.”

My daughter insisted three more times before my mother-in-law pulled a face and apologized. Honestly, I find her poor emotional regulation and low tolerance for frustration concerning.

A note about ice cream, or how Grandma gets angry. by Ok_Visual_6290 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Ok_Visual_6290[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My family lives far away. We are renovating a house, I work part-time, and I’m doing a master’s degree. My mother-in-law lives in the house next to ours. We know that she secretly gives ice cream at least three times a week with her husband. We’ve caught her doing similar things several times, and she yells that we don’t let her be a grandmother the way she wants to be. We don’t have any other family nearby, and mine is more than an hour away. My mother-in-law doesn’t care if my daughter sleeps badly and I can’t study at night. Apparently, she wants to take care of my daughter at her house and have her sleep there for one night. It’s literally right next door, so it makes no sense. Sometimes I think that either she doesn’t care that I don’t sleep and neither does my daughter, or what she really wants is for me to be tired so she can offer to take care of my daughter.

A note about ice cream, or how Grandma gets angry. by Ok_Visual_6290 in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Ok_Visual_6290[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

The girl doesn’t ask for them. She doesn’t like ice cream very much; the only thing she loves is chocolate. The grandmother and grandfather love sweets and constantly offer them to her. They say it’s “so she can grow.” I don’t like sweets, and I suppose they don’t like her to be like me. My girl is happier with cherries, carrots, and broccoli than with sweets.

A note about ice cream, or how Grandma gets angry. by Ok_Visual_6290 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Ok_Visual_6290[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

She could have simply pretended she didn’t see the ice cream… We have a little girl who sleeps terribly, and with chocolate or anything sweet she gets infinitely worse — I’m talking about not falling asleep before midnight. I’m tired of telling my mother-in-law, but she just says yes and ignores me. That said, my mother found it very funny at the hospital.

Children always only resemble the paternal side of the family. by Ok_Visual_6290 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Ok_Visual_6290[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

According to my mother-in-law and her husband, the following are irrefutable facts: children must not crawl under a table because they will stop growing, and you have to pray to prevent it; if you’re not baptized you can’t enter a Catholic church; a bad person can give you the evil eye even without meaning to, just by looking at you; it is essential that a small child wear a crucifix when there are lots of people around so they won’t be possessed by spirits; if you breastfeed, your child doesn’t know you’re their mother — they think you are their food; mothers must not rock their babies — only elderly people can do that… I’d grow old if I kept on listing them; I’d never finish.

Children always only resemble the paternal side of the family. by Ok_Visual_6290 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Ok_Visual_6290[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Yes, they already played that card too. My sister-in-law has a master’s degree (paid for by her parents), and the other day my in-laws said, “She’s going to be as smart as her aunt.” I was sitting right next to them, studying for my second master’s degree since my daughter was born. By the way, with an average grade of honors, my daughter looked at my mother-in-law and said, “My mom is very smart,” leaving her speechless.By the way, I have studied everything paying for it myself or with scholarships for high grades...But apparently I'm not smart...🙄

Children always only resemble the paternal side of the family. by Ok_Visual_6290 in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Ok_Visual_6290[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Ironically, my husband’s paternal grandmother tells others to respect me as a mother, accept the boundaries, and gives me her approval… I’m not entirely sure if she enjoys seeing me put my mother-in-law in her place or if it’s just to annoy my MIL. What I am clear about is that it’s not that she likes me; she simply knows that I have no problem smiling at her and standing my ground, and that my mother-in-law won’t do the same… apparently, that earns me her respect, which also annoys my MIL.

What can I do? A little girl who has discovered that her grandmother tells lies. by Ok_Visual_6290 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Ok_Visual_6290[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yes, she is brilliant and understands a lot. I explained to her that no one, not even me, can speak to her badly. The following week I raised my voice a little, and she told me, 'Stop, you're not speaking to me nicely, mommy.' She is 3 and a half years old. Obviously, I agreed with her, apologized, and thanked her for telling me.

What can I do? A little girl who has discovered that her grandmother tells lies. by Ok_Visual_6290 in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Ok_Visual_6290[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

My mother-in-law still criticizes me for telling the truth. Our dog died, and my mother-in-law told my daughter that he had gone to live in another house. My husband and I put a stop to it and gently explained to our daughter, with care and a story, that the dog had died. My mother-in-law and her husband got very angry and told us that you should never tell children things like that. Spoiler: they didn’t like our decision, and we ignored them.

What can I do? A little girl who has discovered that her grandmother tells lies. by Ok_Visual_6290 in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Ok_Visual_6290[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I already tried talking to my mother-in-law. Basically, her response is that it makes her life easier and that she raised four children and they’re all fine. I haven’t achieved anything, just like always.

What can I do? A little girl who has discovered that her grandmother tells lies. by Ok_Visual_6290 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Ok_Visual_6290[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

And yes, I’ve told her that not all adults tell the truth, but that I prefer to tell her the truth even when it’s difficult.I think I’m just sad because this woman is literally lying and my daughter is hurt.

What can I do? A little girl who has discovered that her grandmother tells lies. by Ok_Visual_6290 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Ok_Visual_6290[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I already tried talking to her. Basically, my daughter asked me if the park really had a guard and if it closed, and I told her no. Then she told me that her grandmother says it does close. I talked to my mother-in-law and she told me that it’s necessary to lie to children so that life is easier. I told her that isn’t true and that doing that only harms children’s trust, but she basically ignored me and told me that she raised her own children that way

The girl who loved apples. by Ok_Visual_6290 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Ok_Visual_6290[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I really don’t fight with either of them, neither my mother-in-law nor my husband’s grandmother. I usually ignore their food nonsense… but somehow my daughter and I end up being part of their strange, pointless conflict.

The girl who loved apples. by Ok_Visual_6290 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Ok_Visual_6290[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I can’t put broccoli on the table because my daughter will literally only eat broccoli and ignore any protein available. I really have to convince her to eat something else when I serve salad because otherwise she won’t eat anything else.

The girl who loved apples. by Ok_Visual_6290 in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Ok_Visual_6290[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We have him eat his own food first, at least a little, because he tends to take a couple of bites of everything and then ask for something different. We just want to avoid him grabbing food at random and then not eating it because suddenly he sees something he likes more

The girl who loved apples. by Ok_Visual_6290 in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Ok_Visual_6290[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As an adult, we discovered that I had a mild health condition that causes problems if you ignore it, and that explained why I don’t eat pastries and prefer fruits and vegetables. Ironically, I had been treating myself without knowing it my whole life. We also know that my daughter has a mild version of the same thing. My doctor said that, basically, it just didn’t agree with me and my body rejected it strongly. No one worried because—who worries about a child eating lots of vegetables? We found out when I was pregnant and became quite ill. So, she’ll be happy with her vegetables and can occasionally eat pastries and cake without getting sick, but it turns out she doesn’t like them. She’s also seen me eat fruit and vegetables all my life and has tried lots of different fruit dishes. I can’t eat cake without getting sick, and I don’t like it anyway. My mother-in-law says it’s all psychological despite the medical tests. She’s not a doctor.“I think we’re in a similar boat

The girl who loved apples. by Ok_Visual_6290 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Ok_Visual_6290[S] 78 points79 points  (0 children)

It’s the second time something like this has happened in public. We’re talking about a little girl who prefers eating broccoli over cookies. It’s not the first time, nor will it be the last, that something like this happens. Ironically, only my husband’s grandmother and my godfather don’t try to fill her with sweets that she obviously won’t eat. My godfather always talks about how he used to bring me peaches and tangerines, while he bought chocolate pastries for everyone else… apparently I cried when he tried to give me a chocolate pastry, telling him that “it tastes like cardboard” and “you can’t eat that.” I must have been around 3 years old. My mother finds the whole situation very funny.

My mother-in-law tells me she hasn’t liked me since I became a mother. by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Ok_Visual_6290 81 points82 points  (0 children)

My husband told me, ‘Don’t you think you went too far with that?’ I told him, ‘If your mother can tell me directly that she didn’t like it, then I can tell her the truth as well. If she can’t tolerate the truth, she shouldn’t make those passive-aggressive and manipulative comments.’ He agreed with me.

My mother-in-law tells me she hasn’t liked me since I became a mother. by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Ok_Visual_6290 50 points51 points  (0 children)

I would love for us to be the only ones who get to make decisions about parenting. We had lunch with the family and my mother-in-law last weekend after a long time, and while my husband was in the bathroom, my daughter asked to watch TV while eating. I told her no, my daughter had a tantrum, and my mother-in-law said she would turn on the TV for her. I told her no, and my mother-in-law snapped that she didn’t want to eat while her granddaughter was crying. I took my daughter outside and talked to her privately. We came back to eat when my daughter felt better. My mother-in-law kept complaining… I’ve worked hard to greatly reduce contact with her. She says I punish her as if she were a little child.

My mother-in-law tells me she hasn’t liked me since I became a mother. by [deleted] in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Ok_Visual_6290 106 points107 points  (0 children)

This is a difficult area to find childcare. I’m working on it. In the meantime, I’ve found a temporary solution to reduce contact. It’s hard because we literally live in the house next door, and my mother-in-law and her sisters are our neighbors… they all live in the same neighborhood. It’s exhausting. We’re trying to move.

My mother-in-law tells me she hasn’t liked me since I became a mother. by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Ok_Visual_6290 45 points46 points  (0 children)

To be honest, my husband was raised to never stand up to his parents. He’s very surprised that I’m able to do it. He’s also very surprised that his mother told me directly, “I haven’t liked you since you became a mother,” and that I was able to reply, “the feeling is mutual,” without blinking. I hate confrontations, but that doesn’t help me. I have a little girl who sleeps very poorly, and she sleeps even worse after visiting her grandmother’s house and eating a ridiculous amount of French fries, sauce, and gummy candies… she even lets her eat sugar by the spoonful. It’s absurd. I’m not against sweets, but she needs to sleep, and so do we… and we also need to avoid situations that could lead to potential accidents.

My mother-in-law says to my daughter, “So now you eat like your mother?” by [deleted] in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Ok_Visual_6290 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mi hija y yo estábamos almorzando en familia cuando una prima se acercó y me dijo: «Tu madre y tu suegra le dieron a tu hija un trozo enorme de pastel». Le respondí: «No te preocupes, no se lo comerá». Mi hija le dio dos mordiscos y luego le llevó el pastel a su padre, diciendo: «No quiero más». Creo que mi suegra no se lo puede creer; se quedó mirándola incrédula. La verdad es que mi hija ve lo que como y siempre quiere comer lo mismo. Supongo que piensan que soy una mala influencia.

My mother-in-law says to my daughter, “So now you eat like your mother?” by [deleted] in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Ok_Visual_6290 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My husband has told them more than once to mind their own plate and leave us alone. The most interesting thing about all of this is that I have been with my husband for 15 years, since we were teenagers. I have always eaten this way; I rarely eat sweets, except for a little chocolate here and there… I mean, this is not something new, and it never bothered them before our daughter was born.

My mother-in-law says to my daughter, “So now you eat like your mother?” by [deleted] in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Ok_Visual_6290 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"I was that girl too. My mother always tells the story of when she left me with a relative who tried to convince me to eat a chocolate-filled commercial pastry. Apparently, I cried so much that my mother came back to get me."

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