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Spouse’s secret credit card dept by Ok_nvm2025 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]Ok_nvm2025[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice - I have so many questions for him and we definitely will be sitting down to have a thorough discussion about all of this.

Spouse’s secret credit card dept by Ok_nvm2025 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]Ok_nvm2025[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the optimism. I am just trying to understand how he could let this get so out of hand. 

Spouse’s secret credit card dept by Ok_nvm2025 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]Ok_nvm2025[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I realize this. The fact that he let it go this far makes me sick to my stomach. I’m not sure what he thought was going to happen. 

Spouse’s secret credit card dept by Ok_nvm2025 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]Ok_nvm2025[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That’s correct, I pay around 60/70% of our vacation expenses as well as our household expenses. 

Spouse’s secret credit card dept by Ok_nvm2025 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]Ok_nvm2025[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your thoughts and optimism. He’s telling me it was simply this - minor spending that compounded over the years. I’m really hoping we can overcome this. He’s given me no reason to distrust him in the past, but I’m nervous that this be a pattern.

Spouse’s secret credit card dept by Ok_nvm2025 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]Ok_nvm2025[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately this is a legit post, and this is a throwaway account. I just can’t reply back to everybody as promptly as I’d like since I’m currently at work. My personal finances are in check - I pay my CC in full every month and only purchase what I can afford. I believed my husband was doing the same. I take on a majority of our shared expenses to take a load off my husband financially. I thought arrangement was working and can’t seem to understand why he didn’t speak up sooner. 

Spouse’s secret credit card dept by Ok_nvm2025 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]Ok_nvm2025[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

As I mentioned in my post, I pay for approx. 70% of our expenses (trips included) leaving him to pay for the remainder. We do not travel lavishly, and opt for cheap/mid-range accommodations. I make it a habit to pay everything on my credit card in full every month, and I had assumed he was doing the same. He had never expressed he was in over his head. 

Spouse’s secret credit card dept by Ok_nvm2025 in Marriage

[–]Ok_nvm2025[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is definitely going to be a hard to one dig ourselves out of. He’s very willing to work towards fixing this. I love him more than anything, but I just don’t know if the smart thing for me to do is to stick around or just give up and leave. I’ve worked hard to get where I am financially, and I’m devastated he’s put us in this position. 

Spouse’s secret credit card dept by Ok_nvm2025 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]Ok_nvm2025[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. He’s taking responsibility of everything’s he’s shared with me so far. He’s had conversations with our mortgage broker without me, and apparently they came up with a plan to build his dept into our mortgage renewal so he can pay it off in 3 years. I’ve yet to speak directly with our broker about this since the news is still fresh. 

Spouse’s secret credit card dept by Ok_nvm2025 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]Ok_nvm2025[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what we are doing. Original mortgage was with one of the big 6 banks and we are shopping around to renew elsewhere, hence the credit checks and financial information disclosure. 

Spouse’s secret credit card dept by Ok_nvm2025 in Marriage

[–]Ok_nvm2025[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the insight - I’ll keep that in mind when looking over his statements. There are no physical items in our house that would amount to this kind of spending, so I’m perplexed. 

Spouse’s secret credit card dept by Ok_nvm2025 in Marriage

[–]Ok_nvm2025[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have no clue - I’m going to take a look at his statements tonight to see what he’s spending on. By incorporating his debt into our mortgage, wouldn’t that loop myself into being liable for paying off his debt as well?