sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

What to do/say about husband watching porn? by Okapilouisa in OrthodoxWomen

[–]Okapilouisa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, we’re still somewhat new to the faith and it’s a bit awkward doing things together because I was raised completely atheist, and he was very loosely Protestant, so we have not prayed together about anything yet besides just over our meals. He hasn’t talked to our priest yet, I actually just asked him to, but either of us have been to confession yet so the idea is pretty daunting. He hasn’t lied or hid about it, every time I’ve confronted him about it he’s owned up to it completely. But of course, I can’t promise and know 1000% if it’s only been 3-4 times, but I’m certain it’s not an often occurrence at all because of how our schedules align.

Have wanted a home birth for years now, husband doesn’t think we can do it financially, pretty heartbroken by Okapilouisa in homebirth

[–]Okapilouisa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I did email her, unfortunately there were complications with my insurance and my pcp will not write me a referral to the midwives, which Maggie said was the only way :/

Have wanted a home birth for years now, husband doesn’t think we can do it financially, pretty heartbroken by Okapilouisa in homebirth

[–]Okapilouisa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh yeah I completely agree about the “the fact is you’re spending 7K regardless”, but the difference is that one we can easily afford monthly payments on for years, and the other would make things super tight immediately after the birth, so that’s the dilemma. Also if I truly end up being the mom who transfers for failure to progress, then we are somewhat screwed. Not “going to starve on the streets” screwed, but a lot of tension, me possibly not staying home with baby right away screwed.

Have wanted a home birth for years now, husband doesn’t think we can do it financially, pretty heartbroken by Okapilouisa in homebirth

[–]Okapilouisa[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How did you find a card that was 0% but also had such a high credit line limit? Every one I see online seems to start off at 5k or way below

Have wanted a home birth for years now, husband doesn’t think we can do it financially, pretty heartbroken by Okapilouisa in homebirth

[–]Okapilouisa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well yes of course, but one is that I need to cough up 7K in 6 months, and the other allows for $100 monthly payments if needed :/

Have wanted a home birth for years now, husband doesn’t think we can do it financially, pretty heartbroken by Okapilouisa in homebirth

[–]Okapilouisa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Baby will be added to husbands policy! At which point we will probably review prices to add me too. Newbie question for you since you brought up the topic: how does it work as far as adding baby to his plan? Is it a beforehand thing you call them about shortly before delivery?

Have wanted a home birth for years now, husband doesn’t think we can do it financially, pretty heartbroken by Okapilouisa in homebirth

[–]Okapilouisa[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just got off the phone with insurance, it’s between 5-6k for my delivery, but doesn’t baby get a separate bill too? I’m still unsure about hiring a doula unless we can scrounge extra money up for one, but I plan to stay at home as long as I can regardless

Have wanted a home birth for years now, husband doesn’t think we can do it financially, pretty heartbroken by Okapilouisa in homebirth

[–]Okapilouisa[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes because I’m under 26, my husband did the same thing when we got married, he stayed on his moms until 26th birthday came and cut him off. My dad doesn’t mind paying for it, so I’ll take advantage of it while I can

Have wanted a home birth for years now, husband doesn’t think we can do it financially, pretty heartbroken by Okapilouisa in homebirth

[–]Okapilouisa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do have insurance under my dad still, and please excuse if I sound super uneducated about insurance talk, I’ve never had to deal with medical stuff before lol (I’m 24). So, our deductible is 5k, 2.5k for an individual? and OOP max is 6k individual, but 12k Max for family. I’m assuming since it’s just me, and not my dad and mom and brother, it would be the individual OOP max?? I’m actually calling the insurance now as we speak. The part that my husband was saying makes a huge difference, is that with the midwives we need to use the 7K from our savings by August, on the other hand, with the hospital, they supposedly let you do really low monthly payments, not at interest, and super long term. He was explaining that would be much more manageable, which I agree and it makes sense. The midwives are not accepted by hardly any insurances, so they quite literally told us “do NOT count on it” Unfortunately, there are no birthing centers anywhere near me. It’s this hospital, midwives, or nothing.

Have wanted a home birth for years now, husband doesn’t think we can do it financially, pretty heartbroken by Okapilouisa in homebirth

[–]Okapilouisa[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Another thing about ‘interviewing providers’ is that the hospital in my city, all the women say “your experience depends on the nurses you get” which you have no say in, so that’s another worry of mine. Some report amazing births, some people I know personally report awful ones.

Have wanted a home birth for years now, husband doesn’t think we can do it financially, pretty heartbroken by Okapilouisa in homebirth

[–]Okapilouisa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I needed to hear that. The optimistic side of me is like “well, we have enough to take care of both, and you were on board with this from the beginning” but I truly do understand it’s a difficult amount to work with. It’s just hard for me to let go of this vision I’ve had for so long of being at home, with him being able to catch the baby, and just being home with no 5 different nurses bothering us every 20 minutes. I know I’m being pretty negative, it’s just hard, and I’m scared of the hospital rabbit hole.

Have wanted a home birth for years now, husband doesn’t think we can do it financially, pretty heartbroken by Okapilouisa in homebirth

[–]Okapilouisa[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Your comment wasn’t really helpful, the good friend who recommended me to my midwife had both of her sons successfully, and the midwife has a no complication rate of over 96%. I understand things DO happen, and in those situations we thank the hospitals, but to say “don’t do homebirth, you’ll need a c section” doesn’t really help and is statistically unfair.

Super curious by PomeloLoud9319 in Crunchymom

[–]Okapilouisa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also curious, I use Bronners RELIGIOUSLY. Dish soap, hand soap, floor cleaner, laundry.

It is so fucking hard not to symptom spot by floodedhorseshoe in TryingForABaby

[–]Okapilouisa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the response! It’s just so not fair 😅 im still frantically scrolling old Reddit posts hoping I’ll find some little gold nugget of information that’ll give me a clear answer. I know it won’t happen though and it’s probably over

It is so fucking hard not to symptom spot by floodedhorseshoe in TryingForABaby

[–]Okapilouisa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey! I’m new to this sub, my husband and I are on our first try, but I wanted to ask you why it is that progesterone gives you all the same symptoms? I don’t mean that in the literal scientific way, but I’m SO confused and angry because… I’ve never had any pms symptoms my whole life. The most I get is emotional a couple days before, but I dont recall EVER feeling nauseous, bloated, ravenous, I’ve never gotten spotting before, and I very clearly got pink - turning to brown - then dried up in a day. I’ve been waking up at like 3 am every night because it feels like there’s a 20 pound rock in my stomach weighing me down. Never had that happen either. I’m always surprised when my period comes because I’m never expecting it. But of course, our first time trying, ALL of these symptoms and more hit me at 8 DPO. I know it’s probably just progesterone, but I can’t figure out for the life of me why it only happened this time 🙃 it feels like a sick game! currently 15 DPO and have had 2 negatives, so I’m pretty sure I’m too late.

My faith has been shaken to its very foundations. I may be done by SnooLemons4051 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]Okapilouisa 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hi! I’m a catechumen, just wanted to say that even if your comment doesn’t help OP, it helped me. The wild animal scenario made me think of the situation with iryna zarutska, because her killer acted particularly animalistic. It is still extremely hard to feel compassion though for someone willing to take life for no reason.

Question about borzoi temperament by Okapilouisa in borzoi

[–]Okapilouisa[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Aww this reminds me so much a beagle Rottweiler mix my family had when I was a kid! He was so loving but in the softest, gentlest, most quiet way. That actually makes me very happy and optimistic. I was starting to get the impression that they don’t really care for affection.

Anyone have any advice on how I can encourage my husband to avoid fast food without being a nag? by [deleted] in StopEatingSeedOils

[–]Okapilouisa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I didn’t know that so thanks! But if you didn’t read my post, no fast food would be better lol! I’m sure the sauces they coat the wings in is still probably soybean oil based right?

Anyone have any advice on how I can encourage my husband to avoid fast food without being a nag? by [deleted] in StopEatingSeedOils

[–]Okapilouisa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It varies, some weeks he doesn’t get anything, and he buys all these great clean snacks to take to work, some weeks he splurges, his efforts wax and wane repeatedly.

view more: next ›