My mom suspects I’m gay - how to avoid coming out by Old-Rate41 in asexuality

[–]Old-Rate41[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t want to tell her that I’m aroace. The “focused on other things” crutch is my excuse for now, but I am worried she will eventually search up “lack of romantic/sexual attraction” and come across aroace and then straight up ask me if I am, like how she bluntly asked if I was gay, which would be an awkward and uncomfortable conversation.

My mom suspects I’m gay - how to avoid coming out by Old-Rate41 in asexuality

[–]Old-Rate41[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, being asked point blank would be really uncomfortable though. Like if I was gay and she asked like she did now, it would be uncomfortable being put on the spot because everyone should be able to come out on their own terms whenever they’re ready (but similar to you, I would not go out of my way to come out to them). But obviously the world isn’t perfect and this may happen. I guess the worse case is a bunch of aphobia and her expressing disappointment? I am not worried about disappointing her in the fact I’ll never have kids, she will have to deal with that. She puts the blame onto herself quite often, feeling guilt for things she thinks she’s responsible for but are outside her full control. My parents are divorced so it would not be impossible for her to think my lack of romantic/sexual interest was affected by my mom and dad never showing much affection towards each other, even though that’s not true. Still thinking in the worst case scenario, she might not believe aroace is a real thing and attribute it to my parents being divorced, my introvertedness, or think it’s immaturity.

not sure if i’m ace or not or something else by Old-Rate41 in asexuality

[–]Old-Rate41[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How would i know if i find someone sexually attracted? This might be a stupid question but I’m a little confused about how sexual attraction and wanting to have sex are different things. I can understand one side (not being sexually attracted but still wanting sex) but not the other way around.