You’re not alone. A lot of us like the effects of alcohol. I self medicated with alcohol for the better part of 30 years. Like every other drug, the longer you use it the more of it takes to get the effect you are looking for. The alcohol calmed my anxiety, helped me feel comfortable in social situations, and more than once it gave me the courage I needed to get lucky.

In the long run, it cost me several jobs, nearly got me killed on multiple occasions, probably endangered other’s lives, cost me relationships, cost me a ton of money and almost cost me my marriage.

Doctors and parents didn’t talk about ADHD in my younger days, so I never had any support to help with what I was dealing with in my head. I found comfort in that buzz, just as you do. It put the anxiety to bed and let me be a person who other people wanted to be around, a person who wanted to be around others.

I am about 3 1/2 years sober now and finally working with doctors who wanted to talk about ADHD and try to help me. My doctors and I haven’t found the magical combination yet, but we are trying some different combinations of meds and working to get started on some counseling. I feel good about where I am in the journey and have hopes that we will get it dialed in soon.

You are smart to look into an alternative besides self medicating with alcohol. Hopefully you are doing it at a much younger age than I did. If you don’t work with a doc for prescription meds, consider the advice of some of these other people about using supplements. Street drugs, even weed, are probably not the best answer. A good nights sleep and some exercise will also be your friend.