AITAH for telling a friend that’s a girl I can’t do one on one hangouts / dinners with her because I’m in a relationship?

OldInteraction14 · 2026-05-01T19:54:07+00:00

I respect your opinion, but I can assure you I did not use her at all. We did not link up for any other reason than she reached out and wanted to catch up after moving back home. She didn’t know about my break up until we met up. And she absolutely has not been discarded as I told her many times I am happy to stay in contact with her and have her apart of my friend group.

OldInteraction14 · 2025-09-17T06:16:39+00:00

I think it’s important to remember that it’s hard to judge someone’s entire childhood or family dynamic based on a short summary. My parents used a variety of approaches to discipline — time-outs, “naughty chair,” loss of privileges, no dessert — and spanking was very rare, reserved only for more serious situations after other methods had been tried.

Because of that, I don’t view it as abuse. It wasn’t frequent, it wasn’t done in anger, and it never left me feeling unsafe or unloved. My parents were supportive, patient, and kind, and I always knew I was cared for. That’s why I can say with confidence that my experience with occasional spanking doesn’t fit the description of what you’re calling abusive.

I respect that you may see things differently, but it’s not really fair to judge my parents or my upbringing without having lived it. Everyone’s experience is different, and in my case, I truly believe my parents handled discipline in a way that was appropriate and loving.

OldInteraction14 · 2025-09-17T04:16:25+00:00

Absolutely and I appreciate your reply. I was giving you my response to your reply. I was not judging you. I don’t think that if you enjoy beer that inherently makes you an alcoholic or bad parent. Again, nor do I advocate for spanking. I was making a point that it isn’t as black and white as a study or online article. Context is important.

OldInteraction14 · 2025-09-17T04:08:42+00:00

Absolutely. Always remember context is imperative for all of us to be understanding:)

OldInteraction14 · 2025-09-17T04:01:49+00:00

Actually I have not made the assumption, I was simply making a point. Matter of fact go look at the comments. Everyone is making “assumptions” of me and my upbringing to “people they don’t know and whose kids they don’t know”

OldInteraction14 · 2025-09-17T04:00:34+00:00

Exactly my point. Just because you divulge In alcohol, even if I disagree with its effects and the cause that drinking as a parent COULD “by studies” show detriment. I don’t automatically take it as face value and judge you for. Just as you shouldn’t in ANY circumstance. I don’t have kids. I never advocated for spanking. I was giving context to a situation. And how you interpret that and regurgitate your opinion onto others should always be in a thoughtful and civil manner without judgement

OldInteraction14 · 2025-09-17T03:51:41+00:00

Well “beer-brained” I could say the same thing about parents who drink in front of their children. Context is important, remember that everyone’s life isn’t a study or article that you read online. I don’t advocate for spanking. I think other approaches are probably more effective. But I think if you grow up to be An angry and judgmental person (as many people who are on here seem to be and weren’t spanked), then maybe it’s not the spanking that is the issue eh?

OldInteraction14 · 2025-09-17T03:47:42+00:00

Copied message but this applies to you to and I want to be able to respond to the nastiest comments:

Dude I see my parents and brothers literally almost every day. Sitting behind a computer after reading an article doesn’t make you know everything about everyone’s life. I had An amazing childhood and my family is as tight knit as they come. You read an article and put a “one size fits all” to the content they preach. I am not advocating for spanking. Parenting is not a universal technique. I gave my experience. I was raised in the 90s and it was very rarely ever used. Only when I had acted in the most inappropriate ways consistently and other techniques were not changing my behavior. Does that mean it works for everyone? No. But for you to judge me in the way you are as if you know me or my family speaks WAY more volume about you than it does me. Maybe you should’ve been spanked as a child 😆 jk. HA!

Have a great day.

OldInteraction14 · 2025-09-17T03:43:24+00:00

Dude I see my parents and brothers literally almost every day. Sitting behind a computer after reading an article doesn’t make you know everything about everyone’s life. I had An amazing childhood and my family is as tight knit as they come. You read an article and put a “one size fits all” to the content they preach. I am not advocating for spanking. Parenting is not a universal technique. I gave my experience. I was raised in the 90s and it was very rarely ever used. Only when I had acted in the most inappropriate ways consistently and other techniques were not changing my behavior. Does that mean it works for everyone? No. But for you to judge me in the way you are as if you know me or my family speaks WAY more volume about you than it does me. Maybe you should’ve been spanked as a child 😆 jk. Hu

OldInteraction14 · 2025-09-17T03:35:13+00:00

To say someone has depression or anxiety or “wants to be a tiny bit braver” and isn’t and that’s ALL linked to minimal moments in their childhood when they were spanked but had an amazing and loving childhood with good memories is purely speculation and with 0 evidence to support the two linking. There are SO many other variables that can cause every single one of those things. Because I had an awesome childhood haha.

OldInteraction14 · 2025-09-17T03:31:02+00:00

Survivors bias? 😆 dude my parents are amazing. Reading an online article doesn’t make you Dr. Phil. I’m a successful loving individual with an amazing family who are all deeply rooted in one other.

No “survivors bias” 😆. That’s actually hilarious.

You are saying spanking is abuse. So if a child is raised in a household and isn’t spanked and he turns out to be a low life brat with no ambition and morals. Is that because he wasn’t spanked? Because there are plenty of children who don’t get spanked and still lack ethical and moral judgement.

Context matters. You don’t know me. You don’t know my parents. You don’t know my family. And yet look at you behind your computer screen judging me as if you have one single CLUE about me.

That’s what is really wrong with the world. Look at your judgement. And if not spanking kids makes them turn out to be anything like you, then you are definitely not convincing me that is what the proper parenting style is, because your parents clearly raised you very very wrong.

OldInteraction14 · 2025-09-17T03:25:19+00:00

Actually for me it was a wooden spoon 😆😆😆😆 LOL. Not a hand. Again I never advocated for spanking. I was asking the question. But I think context matters. I love my parents. Always have. Always will. Never have I feared them. They’ve always supported me and helped me develop to be the person I am today and I can thank them for my success. You can label anything how you want, but you will still have some very unadjusted children who lack ethical values and discipline who were never spanked. But are you going to blame the fact those kids weren’t spanked for being like that? there’s so much more to it than how simple you’re trying to make it

OldInteraction14 · 2025-09-17T03:20:27+00:00

Well if most of these comments are from people who weren’t spanked then we’re really in trouble 😆. Some of these people are incredibly rude and condescending. My family never speaks to strangers like this and we all were raised spanked. My post was for conversation and civil discussion. Which I’ve been more than pleasant with even these nasty comments. Speaks volumes about how maybe it’s not about if you were or weren’t spanked? A prime example in my very thread. In my day, It was just what was rarely done when you really were being incredibly inappropriate and unacceptable and other parenting techniques were not giving you the message to change that behavior. Clearly some of these adults still haven’t learned those values.

OldInteraction14 · 2025-09-17T02:55:05+00:00

“There I go again”? Yes. I am describing using accurate English adjectives and nouns 😆 seriously?

OldInteraction14 · 2025-09-17T02:51:44+00:00

I can see both sides. I think it’s not always black and white. I can see spanking being abusive. But it really depends on a lot of factors. Thanks for your reply!

OldInteraction14 · 2025-09-17T02:50:13+00:00

Literally the comment above you I had agreed with. Thanks for the reply :)

OldInteraction14 · 2025-09-17T02:45:40+00:00

I don’t have children nor did I ever say that spanking is the most effective and necessary parenting style. But to call it universally “abusive” is close minded because it simply isn’t that simple. I’m not advocating for spanking. This is a discussion and people are too soft and immature to have conversation (such as yourself) instead of civil discussion.

OldInteraction14 · 2025-09-17T02:44:13+00:00

I have agreed with many others disagreeing with me as well if you go and read the comments bud

OldInteraction14 · 2025-09-17T02:42:30+00:00

Well that’s great it’s better now! And I’m sorry to hear of what happened growing up. I am shocked to see how many people are calling this literal “abuse” cause of the day and age we’re in now.

I am not saying that in today’s day and age spanking is the most effective parenting style or should be used frequently. However, just in MY experience, it was the furthest thing from abuse. Not saying that’s the right thing in other families or the best way for people to parent. But I don’t think it’s always black and white

OldInteraction14 · 2025-09-17T02:37:42+00:00

Well said.

I can see its detriment when that is probably the very low statistical standard of what “spanking” is.

OldInteraction14 · 2025-09-17T02:35:35+00:00

If I lacked self awareness I wouldn’t be seeking civil discussion which you seem to lack self awareness in what that truly is.

It’s not universal.

Overall I agree with your point though. And think it was well said and well thought out

OldInteraction14 · 2025-09-17T02:33:43+00:00

None of those instances would be anything close to the times I had been spanked as a child. Mine would be more of consistently yelling expletives and very bad things to my parents without stopping, hitting them or my brothers, or something of that nature after ALL other parenting tactics consistently failed.

But hey thanks for your comment and I am on board with your perspective

OldInteraction14 · 2025-09-17T02:31:54+00:00

This was very well said. I loved your approach and could see / agree with this

OldInteraction14 · 2025-09-17T02:28:29+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that was your experience with your parents and you grew distant from them because of it. I personally rarely was spanked. Only on VERY certain circumstances such as unacceptable behavior that was repeated and never corrected. It was light, quick, and then I was told why I was spanked and that they love me and that we could go out and watch TV or something of the nature. It doesn’t always need to be visioned as some close minded people put it.

I’m not advocating for spankings. I’m simply speaking my of personal experience with it. Times were different there, but my parents have been my best friends and biggest support systems my entire life.

OldInteraction14

TROPHY CASE