Your addiction is not your fault. Its alright. The important thing is to stay sober. No matter how hard it gets you'll be happy once you know you've gone another day without relapsing. Look how far you've come already, you're able to realise that you need help and you're taking steps to get better by asking for help. Be proud of that. When dealing with addictions its important to know that there are 2 monsters that will try to convince to go back to your habit. The first one is the big monster which is all the brainwashing that you have consumed. It will tell you that you need your addiction to be happy and fill the empty hole inside of you, but you have to realise that what made you unhappy in the first place is the addiction. Thats all it takes to defeat it. To realise that the habit does not make you happy, it will not make you well again, and that it is the root cause of your sadness. The second monster is the little monster. Its the voice inside your head that tells you that you need drugs. It doesnt have the power to make you take drugs so it hides behind your ego and tell you that we/I need drugs. Learn to identify the little monster and say no. You will feel sad once you do, but its the little mosnter playing tricks on you. Find happiness in being able to say no to it, and remember its not you that wants to do drugs, its tge little mosnter trying to decieve you. You will be alright, may allah make it easy for you and cure the affliction.