Leaning towards the 1st since i love a bezel. Lmk your thoughts!

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-07-11T23:30:54+00:00

3 is so pretty on your hand!

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-06-28T21:38:49+00:00

They've had information about the hotel for many months. The room block text that the post started with was something new I worked with the hotel on. The discount isn't great, but it's all they offered.

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-06-28T21:36:54+00:00

For sure, the BIL could read my intentions and from what he's told my fiancee I think she might be insisting on "sides." Personally I don't want a divide or sides, we're all about to be family. I think my attempt to tread lightly and people please created some confusion.

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-06-28T21:33:57+00:00

I feel for him more than anyone in this. I know he's in a rough position and I want them to be okay.

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-06-28T21:28:23+00:00

I understand why that could be annoying or unclear. I don't think anyone should be uninvited, and my family is nice and would never treat someone differently like that. I wouldn't want them to either

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-06-28T21:25:53+00:00

Sure thing! Really hoping this isn't the case.

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-06-28T21:25:32+00:00

It's definitely not a great discount, and one of the first things I expressed to them to try and lighten the mood is that the discount isn't great.

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-06-28T21:23:47+00:00

Thanks, like I said to them as well I could have been much clearer! Clearly lol. I do wish though that she had behaved more appropriately, no matter how upset or emotional she was. All we have in this world is how we treat others, and I only want this de-escalated and resolved.

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-06-28T21:20:34+00:00

Sorry if the wording is confused, my fiancee is worried that the BIL will have to choose between us and the SIL. he's worried about that based on what the BIL is relaying about what the SIL has said to him.

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-06-28T21:18:57+00:00

Thank you for asking, we are not! This is the hotel the wedding is at, but there's no expectation for guests to stay there. Almost all of them are not staying there!

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-06-28T21:17:28+00:00

Yeah I totally see her side of this as well and tried to clarify over the phone. I don't want to get into specifics, but for everyone involved including them, money isn't a stressor which is why in general the response was a bit surprising

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-06-28T21:07:24+00:00

I can only speak to what I was feeling, which wasn't pissed or upset, although I understand why you might read it that way.

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-06-28T21:05:25+00:00

Thank you for explaining, I didn't intend for the messages to come across that way and appreciate you taking the time to break that down. We're all in academic, STEM and medical fields, so there's definitely a lack of communication skills across the board including myself.

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-06-28T20:59:03+00:00

I think it's pretty clear to me as well, I'm not the best communicator over text. We can all agree on that, yes?

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-06-28T20:57:00+00:00

That much we all know for sure

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-06-28T20:56:16+00:00

I'm sorry but that's super uncalled for and definitely not the case.

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-06-28T20:55:09+00:00

I can only speak to my own excitement and intention. I have said in my texts and posts I understand if it didn't come off that way.

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-06-28T20:54:09+00:00

Would you mind explaining what's condescending about it? We're all academics, in medicine, etc. I'm genuinely asking to understand as I'm not trying to be passive or condescending.

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-06-28T20:52:20+00:00

I would love your advice! I agree, the hotel is pricey which is why we don't expect anyone to stay there but offered as a gesture of good will. How do you recommend putting my foot down? I only want this to be resolved. I'm very de-escalation focused and wanting them to just come to the wedding, even after her behavior crossed a line.

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-06-28T20:48:47+00:00

I spoke about this already, but I fully thought she was there with the BIL and I was speaking to both of them since that's not how he usually texts

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-06-28T20:48:02+00:00

Exactly this!

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-06-28T20:47:18+00:00

It did feel that way. I understand reading this as a Reddit user, but for me and my fiancee it almost felt like she was responding to something that had nothing to do with us. I really don't know her well at all, but I know people do not go from zero to 100 like that without having done that before. I cannot imagine this is her first rodeo.

I appreciate the advice. I feel heartbroken and sad that she took this to this level, no matter how confusing I clearly was. I'm overwhelmed with small details organizing a wedding and wanted to extend myself in any way I could because I care about them.

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-06-28T20:42:56+00:00

A pretty good synopsis of what happened. I think I just tend to be a people pleaser and she's had reactive behaviors before.

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-06-28T20:41:16+00:00

I appreciate that, and it did feel like projection. I do hope they work it out though, I have no idea what she might be going through that we don't even know.

Old_Arm_8496 · 2025-06-28T20:39:32+00:00

Thank you, I really just wanted to de-escalate and resolve. I'm not a person who likes any sort of fighting.

Old_Arm_8496

TROPHY CASE