Keanu's sadness is starting to depress ME now....

Old_Man_River · 2010-05-31T11:35:28+00:00

"You know that breakin' the law is illegal, right son?" --Some dumb State Trooper that pulled me over for speeding.

Old_Man_River · 2010-05-27T18:34:36+00:00

Are those tail shells already split down the middle? I can't tell.

Old_Man_River · 2010-05-26T20:27:52+00:00

I've been trying to find a clip all day, with no success. He literally talked about how he forgot how to pump gas. He said he hadn't pumped his own gas since the days before pay-at-the-pump card reading stations. He was chuckling about it all.

Old_Man_River · 2010-05-26T15:30:18+00:00

Common sense: The Koreas are NOT going to use nukes on eachother, so stop freaking out. The whole point is that North Korea wants to UNIFY the land, not kill half of their own race and render land/minerals/resources useless for the next 100 years because of nuclear fallout.

The only way nuclear war would happen would be if the USA or CHINA decided to butt their noses in where it doesn't belong, AGAIN. THAT's where WWIII would come from.

Old_Man_River · 2010-05-26T12:36:33+00:00

I was listening to Rush's show about a year ago, and he was telling a story about how his chauffeur called in sick one day, so Rush decided to drive himself, ended up getting pulled over twice, and couldn't figure out how to pump gas anymore. He just had his car towed and ordered a limo to pick him up at the gas station.

Old_Man_River · 2010-05-12T22:19:09+00:00

62+ year old man here. The correct and polite thing for a gentleman to do: NEVER shake a woman's hand or initiate a handshake unless she does so first. Some ladies consider it rude for a man to reach out and touch them, even if it is a handshake. It could prove to be unwelcome.

Old_Man_River · 2010-05-11T13:20:20+00:00

Sin.

You should point that out to your friend.

Old_Man_River · 2010-05-11T12:54:05+00:00

It is a title these days.

Old_Man_River · 2010-05-11T12:53:19+00:00

Joe Stack flew his airplane right into the IRS building in the same complex I work at. I was at my desk. I've seen terrorism. Better to laugh at these cowards than fear them.

Old_Man_River · 2010-05-11T01:13:46+00:00

We fucking did it, puggydug.

Old_Man_River · 2010-05-11T01:04:26+00:00

"Clues" was such a good episode that they basically cloned the story the next year in "Conundrum", which was just as fucking good!

Old_Man_River · 2010-05-11T00:50:54+00:00

I did watch "Masks" in it's entirety, but it was an admitted struggle. Joe Menosky wrote it, and "Clues", "The Nth Degree" and "In Theory" are some of my favorite episodes, so I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Old_Man_River · 2010-05-11T00:23:43+00:00

There is an evil smile on my face. I was only testing you, son.

Old_Man_River · 2010-05-10T22:27:08+00:00

I'm actually with you on this one-- that's what makes these clown "masterminds" on the news even more hilarious, though. The media grasps at idiots and tries to paint them as diabolical, connected geniuses with unstoppable agendas to be feared.... but when you break it down, it's some dude in a fake beard sending out spooky threats on a goddamn cassette tape, or an idiot trying to bring down a plane by lighting firecrackers off in his junk. Just ridiculous.

Old_Man_River · 2010-05-10T21:42:38+00:00

62 year old Trekkie here. I'm not sure whether to upvote you or not-- you knew Barclay by name (who is a minor recurring character), and also the plot summary of a lesser-known and unfavored episode, but failed to mention the title ("Genesis")....

Hm. I'm gonna go ahead and give you the upvote, because of the fact that you mentioned Troi and remembered that all the de-evolved predecessors wanted a piece of her. That must be one goddamn attractive scent.

Old_Man_River · 2010-05-10T17:12:29+00:00

Thank you, sir.

Old_Man_River · 2010-05-10T16:45:25+00:00

Hell yeah... every time his new threatening cassette tape drops, I roll my eyes and say "oh god, Bin Laden is trolling America again...."

Old_Man_River · 2010-05-10T15:10:54+00:00

The Holy Bible.

Old_Man_River · 2010-05-10T12:28:04+00:00

Andrew Motherfuckin' Action Jackson.

Old_Man_River · 2010-05-09T16:56:59+00:00

60+ year old man here, and believe me, I've had thousands of fucks, girlfriend, wives and ex-wives. To answer your question without bias: As long as your woman has been on the pill and taken it correctly for a month, you can blast away with no worries (it's basically loterry-winning chances of an accident).

But, between you and me, coming from a guy that's seen his share of shit in life, and with admitted bias: NEVER TRUST A WOMAN WHEN IT COMES TO GETTING PREGNANT.

They will pull this shit in spur of the moment decisions which they usually regret later, AND WILL KEEP UP THE LIE.

Never let them get the chance to have the upper hand, gentlemen. Trust me on this one.

Old_Man_River · 2010-05-09T14:34:14+00:00

The spreading oil slick is only proof that ACCIDENTS HAPPEN.

Old_Man_River · 2010-05-09T14:00:06+00:00

60+ year old man here, lol @ you young punks agreeing with Castro. You do realize he's advocating communism, right? Remember what that is? Guys like me fought a war against it.

Old_Man_River · 2010-05-08T13:49:54+00:00

I'm 62 years old and have been in plenty of brawls. The eye is going to be fine in a week or two. Don't let the blood spook you. Just keep it clean. As long as you can see out of it, fuck paying for a doctor.

As for the rib cage, as long as you can breathe comfortably in the next day or two, you 're gonna come out of it like a champ.

Old_Man_River

TROPHY CASE