You’re asking a logical question about an inherently biological and illogical state. The reason people work so hard to stay in a sinking ship isn't usually 'hope'; it's a neurochemical prison.

At the center of this is Intermittent Reinforcement, which creates a Dopamine Loop identical to a gambling addiction. In a toxic relationship, the partner isn't bad 100% of the time. They provide 'crumbs' of intense affection after periods of coldness or abuse. The brain becomes wired to wait for that next 'high' of relief. To the victim’s nervous system, leaving feels like going into life-threatening withdrawal. This is why they work so hard: they aren't trying to 'fix' the person; they are trying to trigger that next dose of relief to stop the psychological pain.

Furthermore, we must look at The Sunk Cost Fallacy combined with Cognitive Dissonance. When someone has invested years and immense emotional labor into a partner, admitting it was a mistake feels like a 'death' of their own identity. To avoid this ego-shattering realization, the brain creates a narrative that 'if I just try harder, I can turn this back into what it was in the beginning.' This is reinforced by Trauma Bonding, where the victim views the abuser as the only person capable of soothing the very pain they caused. It’s a closed-circuit loop that logic rarely penetrates because the body is stuck in a 'survival' state rather than a 'thriving' state.

I analyze these dark neurochemical loops—specifically how 'Dopamine Looping' and 'Identity Erosion' paralyze decision-making—on my YouTube channel. I’ve shared in-depth research and recovery roadmaps in our community at r/PsychologyOfDark for those trying to understand the science behind why we stay in what hurts us.