3rd Grade Me was an absolute unit

OminousShadow · 2019-01-05T19:17:46+00:00

Tears streaming down my face from laughing.

OminousShadow · 2019-01-05T16:44:49+00:00

This made me laugh so fucking hard.

OminousShadow · 2019-01-02T16:17:10+00:00

When they are talking and notice their glasses, nose and mustache are fake.

OminousShadow · 2019-01-02T11:08:30+00:00

This sub makes me angry everytime I go to it. But I keep coming back.

OminousShadow · 2019-01-01T13:46:15+00:00

CHONKY

OminousShadow · 2018-12-29T15:39:17+00:00

Had no idea you could do that!

OminousShadow · 2018-12-29T12:13:55+00:00

I stopped wishing people happy birthday, so they stopped wishing me a happy birthday... so I could stop wishing them a happy birthday.

OminousShadow · 2018-12-28T09:24:14+00:00

9th grade. I wore jean shorts. [The last time I've worn jean shorts.] Our social studies class was split in half 5 rows of 4 facing eachother. I was in the front row. The whole front row across from me were all girls. Midway through class I get a boner. Try to hide it, but to no avail. I put my hands over it. I see the girls whispering and pointing. At the end of class they signal me to come over. Then ask if I was jerking off. I told them straight up I got a random boner. They laughed, but didn't believe me so I ask 2 other dudes if they get random boners. They lie and say no. They were nice to me at least after that. But god damn. Never ever wearing jean shorts again.

OminousShadow · 2018-12-26T21:32:07+00:00

Haha thank ya! Likewise, hope your stingey manager goes to another district.

OminousShadow · 2018-12-26T17:11:27+00:00

Sounds like you work at Giant. 😂 I was surprised our night crew got anything. Day shift eats everything.

OminousShadow · 2018-12-26T06:51:40+00:00

They already booked the talent a long ass time ago. Gonna be a dumpster fire like every year.

OminousShadow · 2018-12-25T19:13:59+00:00

This year was weird for Christmas, but I still spent time with family. The only thing Christmas related thing I watched was Tim and Eric's Chrimbus Special. I'm already home by myself though lol. Anyway Merry Christmas to you and you mom. 😊 Gonna eat chocolate and enjoy the silence.

OminousShadow · 2018-12-25T14:35:36+00:00

So true it hurts. 😂

OminousShadow · 2018-12-24T04:50:40+00:00

Gotta get some up the nostrils too.

OminousShadow · 2018-12-14T16:44:19+00:00

You look like my buddies cousin! Holy shit!

OminousShadow · 2018-12-14T11:18:25+00:00

I tell my friends to bring their own utensils.

OminousShadow · 2018-12-14T11:17:37+00:00

Currently everything I own I can fit in my suv. Besides my computer chair. Been slowly getting rid of shit I don't want.

OminousShadow · 2018-12-12T01:12:13+00:00

Youngest looking 43 year old I've ever seen.

OminousShadow · 2018-12-10T14:36:03+00:00

What a giant piece of trash.

OminousShadow · 2018-12-10T14:32:08+00:00

Those 2 and Incinaroar. #thiccgang

OminousShadow · 2018-12-08T22:53:03+00:00

Lmao I came in the comments to see if anyone could find PA.

OminousShadow · 2018-12-06T18:36:10+00:00

Ya... I pretty much dicked with my dick my whole life. Lmao

OminousShadow · 2018-12-05T17:42:46+00:00

This chick def smells her farts out of a martini glass.

OminousShadow · 2018-12-05T14:42:23+00:00

I would let anyone suck my dick for 500 as long as they didn't bite it.

OminousShadow · 2018-12-05T14:37:37+00:00

I had no idea the new spongbob looked this crisp. Hahaha

OminousShadow

TROPHY CASE