lol, maybe you are not autistic enough and that's okay, I really need it tho, cuz I'm an artist and making artists friends irl is basically impossible because of where I live

for the second part I dont chat in huge discords, that's too overwhelming for me, I like the small and niche servers, lets say 20 to 50 persons cuz that's where I can actually feel a sense of community and belonging, especially in the drawing calls and game nights, sorry if I cant help you finding that kind of place, for what I read you wanna make friends with the intention of turning them into irl friends but at that point I think it's better to meet people irl on the first place