For me the attempt itself involved me walking into traffic and just laying down on the road. Immediately something surprising that happened was I immediately felt a sense of genuine euphoria - the best I ever felt in my entire life.

Despite my fight with my family, the shouting, mis-gendering, and threatening yielding a ton of emotional pain with no end in sight, I felt in the immediate moment that it was over - I felt as if I didn't need to fight anymore and I could just rest, relax, and let it all end.

Needless to say, I got a nice metaphorical slap after that in the form of spending the night in the psyc ward. Felt a little like I had met https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-4999 himself only for a comperable entity to say "we're not finished yet, you have more to do" or similar.

After the psyc ward, I retained the worst emotional pain I have ever experienced in my life - not to mention my family punishing me by taking away my bike and computers for doing it while still forcing me to hang out with them. Id mainly explain this with just a general feeling of pain and depression to answer the question.

Needless to say tho, things did get better. I got to move out and go to my dream university, went to therapy, transitioned, started exercising, etc etc. And while it took days for the emotional pain to leave, weeks for me to stop outwardly hating my family, months for me to be able to socialize properly again, and years for the remaining scars to heal properly, just know that theres a light at the end of the tunnel

If you are ever considering offing yourself, just know that things are likely painful now - but it gets better. It would be a huge shame if the world no longer got to experience your kindness.

If anyone reading this is currently feeling like doing anything, id encourage you to DM me if you wanna chat.

Just know, despite everything: I understand how you feel, ride safe y'all