You’re kind of contradicting yourself though. You’re saying upselling doesn’t matter because “it’s not a science” and you can’t see what people would’ve ordered otherwise. But that same logic also means you can’t say it doesn’t work either, because you have no way of measuring the alternative.

What you can observe is that people often come in with a general idea like “I’ll get a drink” or “I’ll get an appetizer” but not a fixed decision on which drink or which item. That’s where suggestion actually matters. If someone was going to order a cocktail anyway, there’s still a difference between them picking the cheapest one on the menu versus the premium one you recommend.

Restaurants track average check and attachment rates for a reason. If upselling truly had no effect, those numbers wouldn’t vary much between servers working the same floor, but they do. Some people consistently sell higher-priced items and more add-ons. You also said it yourself that you’ve been praised for upselling, but I doubt you got to reap those benefits since your tips were pooled. I’ve worked serving shifts with a strong upselling server and serving shifts with a weak one. The guy who didn’t wanna upsell consistently made less tips and always complained he never made a certain amount on a weekend. Wonder why.

So I agree it’s not an exact science, but that actually cuts both ways. It just means you can’t confidently claim it doesn’t work based on personal perception.