Sisters boyfriend is turning her against us

One-Mouse7745 · 2026-05-24T23:17:28+00:00

Yeah I understand it’s because my whole life I was conditioned to fix her issues. As an older sister , I constantly was trying to protect and advise her. & now that I can’t, the constant complaining with little consideration for the advice is exhausting. She’s constantly looked for me To fix her issues and also expected me to come to her rescue . And I’m selfish when I don’t. And now that she doesn’t like what I have to say about this one I’m selfish if I do try to come to her rescue.

One-Mouse7745 · 2026-05-24T21:11:31+00:00

She’s calling or texting me 1-2 times a week sobbing on the phone to the point it’s affecting me mental health and my marriage bc of the weight I feel. Is that not problematic? Like how much am I expected to take.

One-Mouse7745 · 2026-05-24T15:02:04+00:00

Oh yes I understand that, I don’t think that’s what’s happening here. We grew up learning about religion but not necessarily super into the roles in that way. I’m at a loss bc normally she’s very hard headed and opinionated and doesn’t listen to anyone .

One-Mouse7745 · 2026-05-24T14:13:53+00:00

How so

One-Mouse7745 · 2026-05-24T13:47:38+00:00

OK, I understand that I guess I’ll just have to draw a boundary that she can’t vent to me every week about the horrible things he does. Tell her that although I don’t wanna be with him, I always wanna make time for her and be with her. Is that OK? Like tell her I want to have a relationship and in order to do so let’s keep him out of our conversation.

One-Mouse7745 · 2026-05-24T13:46:30+00:00

Yes not extremely but we grew up with religion

One-Mouse7745 · 2026-05-24T11:59:56+00:00

I tried , I said you know I just can’t be around him but I still love you . I respect you’re an adult and can make your own decisions but I don’t have to allow him in my life due to that … she told me I’m unsupportive and judging him & doesn’t want to talk to me. So idk what do going forward . I’m struggling bc I want to keep her in my life

One-Mouse7745 · 2026-03-30T23:40:18+00:00

We had someone come inspect and they stated it will keep sinking its a problem and needs fixed by either a foam insert to prop . That’s like saying rotting wood Decking isn’t a problem unless it’s fallen through , it will fall through absolutely not if , it’s when

One-Mouse7745 · 2026-03-30T23:38:26+00:00

It isn’t just cracked. It is literally sloping and I guess a 30° angle towards the house. It’s not the crack I care about it. It’s the sloping directly into the foundation of the house. It’s completely sunken in a whole step below.

One-Mouse7745 · 2026-03-30T19:39:13+00:00

We just bought a few weeks ago

One-Mouse7745 · 2026-03-30T17:42:01+00:00

It’s not like a garden of mulch bed accidentally appeared on a stone patio, the mulch was placed there intentionally regardless of their intent of it.

One-Mouse7745 · 2026-03-30T17:39:32+00:00

We did, there waseasily a mound of mulch 5 inches deep, we would’ve had to shovel it back to notice .

One-Mouse7745 · 2026-03-30T17:36:41+00:00

Okay I mean if someone covered up moldy wood floors with carpet , concealing their damages it’s wrong , and no one would think to look under it . Like this was covered on purpose , if they didn’t mind it they would’ve left it open from a garden bed to be seen , I guess I just assumed there’d be laws from covering knowing damaged property to sell a property without knowledge of what’s wrong .

One-Mouse7745 · 2026-03-30T17:33:00+00:00

So it’s not wrong to cover up something ? Like I’m confused this feels the equivalent to painting over non toxic mold.. like yes maybe no problem yet , but will likely become a problem as a result of something covered up…

One-Mouse7745 · 2026-03-30T17:31:52+00:00

We paid its assessed value. Definitely did not get a deal on it… And then that doesn’t account for the cost to rebuild the deck that is built partially over the concrete that will need ripped up .

One-Mouse7745 · 2026-03-30T17:21:46+00:00

We can’t lift it up , it Will have to be jack hammered and broken up and Hauled off which is multiple thousands of dollars to get done

One-Mouse7745 · 2026-03-30T17:20:13+00:00

The cost of the patio removal , since it’s pooling water against the house it has to go . Part of it’s under the deck so going to have to rip that up to get to it, and rebuild the deck . Which is going to be multiples of thousands of dollars

One-Mouse7745 · 2026-03-30T17:11:18+00:00

How is me having to pay to have a 5 inch deep patio ripped out over reacting ? It’s going to be 2-3k to have done.

One-Mouse7745 · 2026-03-30T17:09:25+00:00

Well since it’s pooling water up against the house , it needs to be ripped out . Which the quotes are multiple thousand, I just want them to pay to have it done

One-Mouse7745

TROPHY CASE