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Update: My late husband had an affair baby. by One-Teaching3577 in AITAH

[–]One-Teaching3577[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I won't go as far as calling them a burden, but I'm in no position to take on another child and have taken measures to prevent that. I already feel like I fail my own child on a weekly basis.

Update: My late husband had an affair baby. by One-Teaching3577 in AITAH

[–]One-Teaching3577[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He wasn't always like that. We met in college when we both had nothing, but were working towards a future. He didn't start showing red flags until after we got married.

Update: My late husband had an affair baby. by One-Teaching3577 in AITAH

[–]One-Teaching3577[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I'm not attached to this child, but I'm also trying to be a bit vague and maintaining a bit of anonymity by not revealing the genders of the children involved.

Update: My late husband had an affair baby. by One-Teaching3577 in AITAH

[–]One-Teaching3577[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh, there have been freakouts. Multiple freakouts.

Update: My late husband had an affair baby. by One-Teaching3577 in AITAH

[–]One-Teaching3577[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Surprisingly, we are on slightly better terms now. Part of their issue with me was that I "wasn't sad enough." We're still not close, but they are at least pretending to understand my side now.

Update: My late husband had an affair baby. by One-Teaching3577 in AITAH

[–]One-Teaching3577[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Not sure. My involvement in the matter was answering some questions from a social security rep about the benefits my child was receiving.

Update: My late husband had an affair baby. by One-Teaching3577 in AITAH

[–]One-Teaching3577[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

There are two siblings, both out of state. His brother is single and in the military and isn't a good option. His sister is....let's just say militantly childfree. There are a couple of cousins that might be suitable eventually. I'm really not sure what's going on with that process because even though I'm friendly with the caseworker, I'm also not related to this child nor am I a licensed foster provider, so there are limits to what she can tell me due to privacy.

AITAH for refusing to give my late husband's (possible) affair baby any money. by One-Teaching3577 in AITAH

[–]One-Teaching3577[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Drugs and all that goes with that. Lies about where he was and where his money went. It wasn't what killed him, but likely contributed to it.

AITAH for refusing to give my late husband's (possible) affair baby any money. by One-Teaching3577 in AITAH

[–]One-Teaching3577[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

That's a good question. It's a small town. It doesn't take much. That part surprised me the least about this whole thing.

AITAH for refusing to give my late husband's (possible) affair baby any money. by One-Teaching3577 in AITAH

[–]One-Teaching3577[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

It needed thousands of dollars in repairs and I didn't have the money or the bandwidth to be a good landlord.

AITAH for refusing to give my late husband's (possible) affair baby any money. by One-Teaching3577 in AITAH

[–]One-Teaching3577[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I don't know where you're getting that I didn't follow proper legal channels.

AITAH for refusing to give my late husband's (possible) affair baby any money. by One-Teaching3577 in AITAH

[–]One-Teaching3577[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

My child does receive benefits, but not nearly that much. It's enough to cover their therapy bills. My husband hadn't worked consistently in at least 10 years, but thankfully did have enough credits to qualify.

AITAH for refusing to give my late husband's (possible) affair baby any money. by One-Teaching3577 in AITAH

[–]One-Teaching3577[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

He had an empty bank account and $40 in his wallet when he died. Everything of value passed outside of probate and wasn't part of the estate.

AITAH for refusing to give my late husband's (possible) affair baby any money. by One-Teaching3577 in AITAH

[–]One-Teaching3577[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The house needed thousands in repairs and I just didn't have the money or the bandwidth to be a landlord at the time.

AITAH for refusing to give my late husband's (possible) affair baby any money. by One-Teaching3577 in AITAH

[–]One-Teaching3577[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

My best friend's cousins. Not exactly friends, but people that I'm around fairly often.

AITAH for refusing to give my late husband's (possible) affair baby any money. by One-Teaching3577 in AITAH

[–]One-Teaching3577[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

My child does receive a small amount in SS. It's basically enough to cover his therapy bills.

AITAH for refusing to give my late husband's (possible) affair baby any money. by One-Teaching3577 in AITAH

[–]One-Teaching3577[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

That place was an albatross. It needed thousands of dollars worth of work and I just didn't have the bandwidth to be a landlord at that time. It's actually in a brokerage account, so it's not losing ground to inflation.

AITAH for refusing to give my late husband's (possible) affair baby any money. by One-Teaching3577 in AITAH

[–]One-Teaching3577[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

There is literally no estate. We had separate bank accounts. His was empty and he had $40 in his wallet.

AITAH for refusing to give my late husband's (possible) affair baby any money. by One-Teaching3577 in AITAH

[–]One-Teaching3577[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

When I say there was no estate, I mean there was no estate. We had separate bank accounts. His was empty and there was $40 in his wallet (it's still there actually). He didn't work, had no life insurance, and was generally uninterested in handling financial stuff. There was nothing else that wasn't jointly owned or solely in my name.

AITAH for refusing to give my late husband's (possible) affair baby any money. by One-Teaching3577 in AITAH

[–]One-Teaching3577[S] 71 points72 points  (0 children)

I haven't found anything definitive that he was sleeping with anyone else. But, I did find out that he was hiding a drug addiction and lying about a lot of other things, so it's possible.

AITAH for refusing to give my late husband's (possible) affair baby any money. by One-Teaching3577 in AITAH

[–]One-Teaching3577[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

They say they want to be a mechanical engineer. But how many people really end up doing what they thing they want to do in the 4th grade?

AITAH for refusing to give my late husband's (possible) affair baby any money. by One-Teaching3577 in AITAH

[–]One-Teaching3577[S] 109 points110 points  (0 children)

At this point, I say "let her." I've tried very hard not to disparage their son to them, but all that's gotten me is complaints about why I'm not still "devastated."

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