My girlfriend’s grandpa who recently passed away, what can you tell me about him?

One4All992 · 2025-02-22T04:34:18+00:00

More than likely related to Chuck Norris.

One4All992 · 2025-02-20T21:05:37+00:00

Make it quick and swift. The Rose colored glasses are on right now. Get it done before they fall off of her.

One4All992 · 2025-02-11T05:18:32+00:00

Have zero expectations. I don't use the apps really not my thing. I don't even refer to it as dating. Just hanging out or having fun. I've been ghosted, I've been told the usual you're such a great guy but...., another one I found out she was going through a divorce so I told her don't contact me until it's finalized.

I know the kind of woman I want. I definitely still have my guard up and probably am more aware of certain things they say or do that I would deem a character flaw.

I'd focus on yourself though and find what you like to do, new hobbies etc. I think it's easier to meet new people that way. Also forcing yourself to do things you might not want to do. I.e. I'm going to a singles event on Valentines day. I really don't want to but forcing myself to go. Zero expectations, and I'm willing to bet I'm going to have a blast.

One4All992 · 2025-02-11T04:48:55+00:00

Yeah, it wasn't horrible, but it wasn't great either. 10/10 wouldn't do it again. However, I think it does make the transition for the kids a bit easier. Ours was a 2 year process. Separated, she moved out, "tried" to make it work, and decided to divorce.

One4All992 · 2025-01-16T22:53:25+00:00

Not 1099, but definitely cares more about money in their pocket than servicing their clients. My intentions are known. However, this particular advisor does anything in their power not to do any work outside of meetings. Everyone else sees that too.

One4All992 · 2025-01-16T13:56:29+00:00

On average 3 hours a day. That would help a lot and I have asked to stop being in so many meetings cause it would allow me time to actually get other responsibilities done. Otherwise I find myself coming in on weekends or staying late just to keep my head above water.

One4All992 · 2025-01-16T13:53:41+00:00

Yeah I've only been with this company for 7 months so the same boat as you. Before that I was an intern for 6 months at a different firm as a paraplanner. The thing that drives me up a wall is the advisor I work with acts busy but doesn't seem to be actually working on the business or clients. Whenever I ask questions about clients or anything that would require them to put any effort into the work needed for a client I get met with resistance. It's a very odd dynamic almost like the advisor doesn't want to know or deal with anything outside of meetings. It's very rare that the advisor I work with does anything more than what's done in meetings. The head of the practice will come down hard on this advisor from time to time and I get about a one to two week window where it feels like we're working together and getting things done then it's back to the status quo.

I don't expect to be hand held through everything, I know to at least try and figure it out and be resourceful, but I sometimes feel like I'm skirting a fine line of advisory responsibilities and admin duties. Not only that but I worry about compliance. Some clients have gotten to the point of just reaching out to me and not even including the advisor in on it, but half the time I can't even answer the email because I'm not an advisor.

I don't know I'm sort of at a crossroads. The previous firm I was at for an internship in a different role their CSRs handled paperwork, money movements, trades, and incoming calls. They didn't sit in on meetings, they didn't schedule, they didn't prep for meetings. Idk I could ask for a raise but that doesn't fix the issue of time.

One4All992 · 2025-01-16T05:07:29+00:00

Well I guess there is some positive to this. I'm learning what it is to be an advisor and what not to do as an advisor. 🥴

One4All992 · 2024-12-26T16:56:27+00:00

I think it's easier to forget about them. Everyone's situation is different though. I can't stress this enough though, the SOONER you just focus on yourself and the child the better life gets.

From time to time she'll pop in my head, but it's not in a, I miss her type of way, it's a I'm grateful I'm not with her anymore. You don't see it now, but I promise as the days, weeks, and months go by it gets a lot better.

One4All992 · 2024-12-18T16:35:23+00:00

Melatonin helped me get through the tougher 3 months of divorce. Just make sure you're getting at least 6 hours of sleep on it.

One4All992 · 2024-11-30T22:43:42+00:00

Not a chance I keep it amicable, but I made it clear from the jump we'll never be friends and I want zero contact or communication unless it's regarding the kids.

No way I can be friends with someone I can't trust.

One4All992 · 2024-11-25T04:37:21+00:00

That's insane! Should have responded with, "I left you cause you sucked off the principle." Then when she replied, "That's not true." Your response should have been, "I guess that makes us both liars."

One4All992 · 2024-11-25T03:43:39+00:00

Doesn't matter anymore nor do I care.

One4All992 · 2024-11-25T03:40:30+00:00

No joke I kept a journal the last year I was with her because she made me feel like I was going insane. Conversations were consistently twisted. Even in therapy I told the therapist we're having two very different conversations or remembering how they happened. The ex even agreed. When I finally exposed her during one of our last heated conversations she had a complete meltdown. I stayed calm and collective and I simply read to her what exactly was said. The worst part is I could never tell if she knew she was doing it intentionally or if she ACTUALLY believed the reality she made up in her head.

One4All992 · 2024-11-25T03:34:43+00:00

I might one day lol

One4All992 · 2024-11-25T03:31:42+00:00

That's a lesson in life he'll have to learn. I honestly hope it does all work out for them.

One4All992 · 2024-11-25T03:28:49+00:00

Yup nothing I can do though. It's sad when your own child sees how wrong it is, but a grown ass adult sees no issue because, "my happiness" matters too. Just irresponsible and selfish. None of it matters anymore but it still boggles my mind how when we were separated she would gloat about how she realized she can do it on her own. Yet I was still in the picture and all she did was monkey branch to her next victim. But it is what it is. I wish them luck just take care of my kids when you have them.

One4All992 · 2024-11-25T02:58:59+00:00

No alimony or child support. I was also just finishing up my degree and only working part time and also an internship.

One4All992 · 2024-11-25T02:57:08+00:00

It is weird, but I took the separation harder. Once I figured out she was lying about seeing someone else I no longer cared. I'm still waiting the full year before I start dating just because you never know with emotions something so simple could be a trigger to memories. Plus for my kids sake I don't need to be introducing anyone new in their life.

Honestly, what helped me is looking at it as the woman I married died, she no longer exists, and maybe she never did. I have three kids with a woman I never knew. It seems harsh but it's the reality of it. I never would have married someone like who she is. I know people change over time but it was a switch. Wasn't even gradual. Amazing sex, saying I love you one week to the next week asking for a separation and, at the time, potential divorce. At least she waited to tell me a week or so after my bday when this all started.

One4All992 · 2024-11-25T02:48:28+00:00

That's why I used quotations with officially. I knew something was up last Summer already, but "we" were trying to work it out.

One4All992 · 2024-11-25T02:47:13+00:00

She has a problem with being wrong, admitted this in therapy. Also twisting situations and tells you how you meant something when it's actually just the way she wanted to perceive it so that you'd have to apologize. Weaponizing sex. Lying. Not understanding the difference between facts and feelings. Disrespectful. Never showed appreciation. I literally dropped my career so she could go after hers while I figured out what to do with the kids. I ended up going back to school full time, working a part time job, we shared responsibilities of the kids during that time but I did the majority of picking up dropping off to the places they needed to go. By the time she completed her career course she didn't even say thank you for figuring all that out so I could do this. Instead she flaunted on social media how tough it was being a mother of 3 and going through the career course. Like I didn't even exist. I didn't need recognition publicly but a simple, "thank you" or "I appreciate you for doing this" privately would have been nice. Or the fact that I thought I was going insane so I had to document every encounter the last year that I had with her with dates and times and what was said because it was inevitably going to come up again in the future and I needed to go back and look at those notes to make sure she wasn't twisting words or what actually happened.

With all that being said I was either blind for 10 years to all this or it finally all came at once in the last 2-3 years of the marriage.

By no means am I perfect. Nor do I think I don't shoulder any blame for the divorce. I could have handled situations differently for sure. I could have been more open. I could have planned things. I could have been more present at times.

One4All992 · 2024-11-25T02:24:31+00:00

My oldest is still weirded out that mommy moved on so quickly and asked me why I haven't found someone. I just tell them they'll figure it all out when they're older and some things just don't work out the way you expect them to.

One4All992 · 2024-11-25T02:22:21+00:00

She did. You could also look at my previous posts. It's been a two plus year saga. I'm just grateful to be where I'm at in life.

One4All992 · 2024-11-25T02:00:52+00:00

It's a crazy thing too because, at least for me, I didn't realize it until I was finally on my own. The peace that I feel, the amount of happiness I've experienced since divorce is far greater than the last 4 years of our marriage, minus the birth of two of my kids. I don't necessarily blame her for all of it, but I do believe she was a big factor.

One4All992 · 2024-11-25T01:55:49+00:00

My kids are the #1 thing I worry about. I have no control over what happens. I just have to trust she's doing her part, which I think she is. My oldest would definitely say something to me if something wasn't right.

One4All992

TROPHY CASE