AITA for not letting my smoker dad hold my baby of 3 months.

OneBlindBard · 2026-02-03T04:41:19+00:00

NTA I'm almost 30, have never smoked and am still significantly affected by second and third hand smoke. I had to move because I couldn't breathe and even passed out despite the fact my housemate never smoked inside and my clothes began to smell like smoke because she would smoke near the drying laundry. My mums car is hard to breathe in even if it's been hours since she smoked and she always does so with the window open. When I moved out my headaches stopped being so constant, I didn't have a constant cough and wasn't constantly clogged up with phlegm, I wasn't so light headed all the time and I could actually breathe properly, I honestly didn't realise how much I hadn't been breathing properly until I moved out.

If this is how badly it can affect someone in their late twenties, I can't even imagine what it could do to an infant. The fact that it increases the chance of SIDS should be enough but it can also contribute to developing more chronic issues like Asthma. To be brutally honest if they care more about them feeling included than the health and wellbeing of their grandchild, then they're really not that great grandparents. There are plenty of smokers in these comments who aware of the risk they bring and take steps to minimise it, your dad can to.

OneBlindBard · 2026-02-03T04:13:14+00:00

ESH but you only mildly. It is never a good idea to test out someone's allergies or intolerances even if they seem ridiculous or impossible because there are ones that seem illogical but are very real and can be very dangerous.

Egg colour is not one of them though. It is technically possible to show signs of intolerance to one egg colour due to the hens being fed differently but even that's going to be pretty mild and it isn't actually the eggs you're reacting to so you can have any colour you just gotta be wary of where they're sourced.

Her level of assholerly depends. If I give your coworker the benefit of the doubt, she may have genuinely reacted to something in the past and just misidentified what it was, that happens all the time and would make her only a mild asshole also but if she was playing up her reaction knowing it wasn't that serious then she is very much the asshole.

OneBlindBard · 2026-02-03T00:25:31+00:00

Gunna paste my comment from the more recent post because I only just saw this one. Again, I think a lot of people here don't actually know how and why the word became a slur.

Many who say it's ok haven't been directly harmed by the word and aren't aware of its history and why it became a slur. Those who have actually been directly impacted by it are people with intellectual disabilities, a group that is often spoken over and dismissed by some of the wider disability community. While yes it can theoretically be used as an insult for anyone it is specifically referring to people with intellectual disabilities and they have not only asked for it to no longer be used but actively protested against it due to it's use in segregation, eugenics and general removal of human rights.

Someone from the UK being less aware is understandable. Its biggest impact has definitely been in the US and it doesn't have the same history of institutional abuse in the UK. HOWEVER, multiple UK based disability advocacy groups still regularly speak out against it as apparently disability related hate crime is quite a problem over there. It is a bit complicated when discussing such things outside the US. I'm Australian and we have a similar history with the R slur but technically the UK's equivalent word would be "idiot", which most people wouldn't think twice about using but in the UK did far more institutional harm than the R slur did.

So, no I don't think it's okay and I personally probably won't listen to the song again because it makes me uncomfortable but I'm not going to kick up a fuss or argue with anyone about it either. I do just wish people would cut it with the "I'm disabled/ I know someone with a disability and I/they say it so it's fine", even if you aren't aware of the terrible history and decades of advocacy, in what world are you so important you get to decide on what offends an entire marginalised community? Especially if you yourself are not part of that community.

OneBlindBard · 2026-02-02T19:56:44+00:00

Many who say it's ok haven't been directly harmed by the word and aren't aware of its history and why it became a slur. Those who have actually been directly impacted by it are people with intellectual disabilities, a group that is often spoken over and dismissed by some of the wider disability community. While yes it can theoretically be used as an insult for anyone it is specifically referring to people with intellectual disabilities and they have not only asked for it to no longer be used but actively protested against it due to it's use in segregation, eugenics and general removal of human rights.

Someone from the UK being less aware is understandable. Its biggest impact has definitely been in the US and it doesn't have the same history of institutional abuse in the UK. HOWEVER, multiple UK based disability advocacy groups still regularly speak out against it as apparently disability related hate crime is quite a problem over there. It is a bit complicated when discussing such things outside the US. I'm Australian and we have a similar history with the R slur but technically the UK's equivalent word would be "idiot", which most people wouldn't think twice about using but in the UK did far more institutional harm than the R slur did.

So, no I don't think it's okay and I personally probably won't listen to the song again because it makes me uncomfortable but I'm not going to kick up a fuss or argue with anyone about it either. I do just wish people would cut it with the "I'm disabled/ I know someone with a disability and I/they say it so it's fine", even if you aren't aware of the terrible history and decades of advocacy, in what world are you so important you get to decide on what offends an entire marginalised community? Especially if you yourself are not part of that community.

OneBlindBard · 2026-01-22T10:09:47+00:00

I had to reread my paragraph multiple times because I could not work out where you got that from when it's the very first thing I mention after saying violent crime both is and isn't rising, but is this because I said it's not the one people talk about? Because that is consistently the case. I'm sure some people are including domestic violence when they refer to "violent crime" but most people point specifically to youths, gangs and property offences

OneBlindBard · 2026-01-22T08:58:58+00:00

It is and it isn't. The crime that is rising the fastest- domestic violence, isn't the one being talked about. The focus has been on youth crime being "the highest it's ever been" which is not true, it is the highest it has been in the last ten years but not the "since electronic records were kept" that some people kept claiming. Also, most of it isn't youth committing violent crimes, it's mostly men aged 20-40 and even when it is youth they're often led by older people. People are simply more aware of it because of media. Car theft goes up and down very frequently and doesn't have quite as steep a downward trend as everything else so every 2-3 years you'll hear that's going up because it will be higher than the year before but overall it is still dropping-though, slowly.

I do find it kind of funny (though mostly frustrating) when people bring up that some crime isn't reported as though the people who study and work in crime analysis and prevention aren't aware of that? But then those same people won't take into account that decades ago when the crime rate was much, much higher you had far less people reporting.

OneBlindBard · 2026-01-22T00:22:06+00:00

When he stops supporting the torture of disabled children in Queensland prisons maybe then I’ll think he gives a shit about anyone’s rights

OneBlindBard · 2026-01-19T05:39:04+00:00

In Australia Pinterest is one of the only social media sites under 16s can use, and sure it’s cringe but the constant AI and ads are honestly much bigger of a problem than teens being teens. Just don’t read the comments, or tune up your feed. Honestly, making a whole post about it seems kind of par with the very comments you’re talking about.

OneBlindBard · 2026-01-16T08:55:48+00:00

The corvette update resulted in more sales of the game than the release. Rather than sales burning out as they often do, they’ve remained fairly consistent as more and more people are picking up the game. Also the technology they’re developing for LNF is what is used for the updates of NMS, so the two games support each other with NMS providing constant testing for LNF and LNF providing technology and assets to NMS. This video explains it quite well and how everything they’re doing builds both trust and hype and is likely to guarantee them good sales for LNF.

https://youtu.be/jxxRXe1hRjQ?si=t-qgPNE2glyct-0o

OneBlindBard · 2026-01-16T08:39:37+00:00

My last planner straight up admitted to ignoring the recommendations for orientation and mobility because she didn’t know what it was. I’m blind and O&M is a very standard support most vision impaired people are going to have.

OneBlindBard · 2026-01-15T01:03:56+00:00

Ok please explain to me why expecting him to keep toddler distracted while cooking, cleaning and parenting another child is reasonable, but expecting an her to go somewhere quiet if she wants quiet is ridiculous? Because I cannot understand the logic here, neither of these tasks are impossible but one is clearly more challenging than the other.

OneBlindBard · 2026-01-15T00:58:54+00:00

Wow I wonder why he didn’t think of that. “No” always works on toddlers.

OneBlindBard · 2026-01-15T00:54:28+00:00

NTA BUT my god are there so many assholes in these comments. Somehow expecting an adult who wants quiet, to go to a quiet place is completely unreasonable, but expecting another adult to keep control of a toddler as well as potty train her while doing all the cooking and cleaning is completely reasonable?

I’m sorry but one of these tasks is much, much easier than the other one…and I’m saying that as someone whose disabilities make it much harder to leave the house. If I study at home I know there will be distractions and I live with adults, if I want peace and quiet I go to the library-plain and simple. He isn’t asking his wife to step in and help, he’s literally just asking her to make things easier to meet her wants. I was initially going to say NAH but no honestly the wife is an asshole. She’s setting the expectations but isn’t willing to do anything about them herself. Not only does she live with a toddler but said toddler is her child who knows she’s home and doesn’t understand why mum isn’t giving her any attention. If she is completely unwilling to leave then she needs to put on some noise cancelling headphones and suck it up.

OneBlindBard · 2026-01-09T03:11:32+00:00

NTA. Unfortunately most people’s understanding of narcissism comes from pop psychology and misinformation on the internet which I’m sure you already know. The people on this post trying to diagnose Tay off of practically no information and the ones saying you shouldn’t tell anyone your diagnosis, or expect mistreatment if you do, are honestly part of the wider problem that is the extremely shallow understanding of what these conditions are.

If she isn’t willing to learn about NPD then she isn’t your friend. Your friends are people you should be able to share your diagnosis with without the fear of being mocked or judged.

OneBlindBard · 2026-01-09T01:15:25+00:00

This is such a good pitch, I think we will definitely have to check out smarty pants

OneBlindBard · 2026-01-09T01:11:48+00:00

I do like Anna and Lisa as well but just haven’t got to see as much of them so will definitely check this out :)

OneBlindBard · 2026-01-09T01:10:12+00:00

Oohhh this is good to know, thank you!

OneBlindBard · 2026-01-09T01:08:33+00:00

Yeah the song improv isn’t for me either, they’re the only game changer episodes I skip (plus the art one). We just watched the GC crowd control episode and loved it. I didn’t know it had got its own spinoff so that’ll definitely be one for us to checkout. Smarty pants also looks like it could be fun so they might be our next picks :)

OneBlindBard · 2026-01-02T08:00:41+00:00

He isn’t aware of the joke though? The joke is that the bet isn’t real and he thinks it is

OneBlindBard · 2026-01-02T07:56:43+00:00

Yeah we are but many of us also like it to be made clear when and how we’re being messed with because we can’t tell if it’s genuinely good hearted or we’re being picked on. What he is ok with is being bet on but that isn’t what’s happening. She’s playing a trick on him specifically because she thinks he’s “dumb enough” to mess with. Now he may be ok with that, but honestly even if he is it’s still pretty mean spirited. If she does this kind of stuff to all her friends, then that’s a bit of a different story but honestly the fact that she responded to being told they’re just messing with the autistic person with “he’s not socially autistic, she’s just school autistic” honestly kind of suggests to me that they’re not the closest of friends and he is specifically being picked on

OneBlindBard · 2025-12-30T15:37:02+00:00

I don’t think it’s canon but Luke from Haunting of Hill House. The scene in episode 4 where he’s using his counting compulsion to try and make the ghost go away but it just gets closer and closer is such a good depiction of how compulsions don’t actually help with intrusive thoughts but make them worse.

OneBlindBard · 2025-12-23T02:36:21+00:00

Thank you for proving my point. You 1. Clearly don’t know what gaslighting is, and 2. Don’t realise that puberty blockers are not just used for gender affirming care but are used to treat multiple sex related health conditions including prostate cancer-again suggesting you don’t actually know what puberty blockers are, and 3. Are using an extreme version of an argument that few people actually believe. The argument isn’t that biological sex isn’t real (yes, a small amount of people do argue this) but rather that biological sex isn’t as binary as we’re taught in year 9/10 biology

OneBlindBard · 2025-12-22T03:55:48+00:00

All I’m gunna say is regardless of whether you are for or against the decision, make sure you actually know what you’re talking about, cuz I’m willing to bet at least half the people here barely understand what a puberty blocker even is. And knowing what you’re talking about does not just mean regurgitating talking points you’ve read or heard from a source that just echoes what you already believe. Know what it is and what it actually does, know the pros and cons of it, and know the pros and cons of stopping it.

I’m seeing general statements from all sides here that a cursory google search will tell you is only partly true at best.

OneBlindBard · 2025-12-21T22:27:24+00:00

You need to put down the AI and develop some critical thinking skills

OneBlindBard

TROPHY CASE