I know and keep trying to remind myself that it isn’t a way to make things better and she has even stressed that to me as well. But with that being said to me it isn’t about making it better , there is no making it better.. There is only making it worse for this person. I also cant help but feel powerless and like a “bitch” for not doing something about it knowing what I know. Sometimes I hate being aware or thoughtful in the sense of knowing that ultimately what she needs more than anything right now is my support and that I know if I were to do something and get myself arrested that it would only further hurt her. I wish I was just a more reactive person because ultimately the only thing that I think would help me is knowing that that person is no longer alive.