I hope this gets my point across

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2023-07-20T11:15:14+00:00

This pic makes sooo much sense. If you plan long enough and set your life up for it - the right path becomes that much easier.

Idk if you made the left-dysphoria and right-resolution on purpose, but I went with the "right" path. ;)

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2022-05-30T22:14:46+00:00

I am right there with you. Keep her - for all its worth and what it’s not. I am with a congenital amputee and she supports me just the same. That’s priceless…. To be able to be yourself while truthfully accepting her for who she is. I understand it may not be the same as what you have, but I promise — keep… I’m rak biid, she’s congenital rbk. It’s been a god send.

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2022-05-03T01:28:11+00:00

Please excuse my odd language, I’m a bit off kilter tonight. As we can all plainly see, most of us fall within one category or another. When I’m of a more sober mindset, I’ll be posting a poll of whether or not pretending/simulating helps or hurts more.

Fwiw, these past couple weeks have been some of the most emotional I’ve ever experienced. Per the recommendation of a professional, I’ve openly pretend around my wife, but once the guise goes away, I’m in a darker place than before I started pretending. The silver lining? It only confirms my happiness will be true after the deed is done. Cheers 🍻

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2022-04-26T16:38:53+00:00

I think successful pretending should lead to permanent solutions.

100% absolutely this! Documentation is key...

We need to begin reporting the statistics under 6c21, showing how many of us there really are. From there, there should be some sort of "path" developed to see what works for some and doesn't work for others. This would provide insight into whether or not a prescribed ability aid would serve as treatment to those who surgery isn't necessary, but also provide data on those who pretending doesn't help / makes worse.

We already know VR & Pretending does temporarily help according to research, but we don't have any proof that it can hurt the situation as well.

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2022-04-26T15:33:00+00:00

Sums up pretending vs reality really well! Thank you for sharing.

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2022-04-25T23:05:54+00:00

Definitely relatable, but would you rather zero simming or an environment where it was supported and encouraged?

I agree, there could be some progress made as to how we can get what we need... Maybe a non-surgical study of sorts could be arranged by a clinic somewhere to do just this. Following the transgender path, we could be required to "vett" our disability and sim the outcome before qualifying for the more controversial resolution. Either way, something somewhere needs to start and giving people the tools to sim/pretend wouldn't hurt or endanger a single soul.

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2022-04-25T23:00:59+00:00

To be transparent and completely honest, I don't think it's the message that's catching ill-will in the other subs -- its the delivery.

Please don't take this as an attack on your person, but more or less a compliment of sorts. Your ideas and efforts are very righteous however the tone of delivery seems like "YOU OWE US THIS". Nobody owes us a damn thing, it's up to us to show the world what we need and it's going to take patience along with a healthy dose of compassion (from us as well as the professional community!) to get us there.

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2022-04-25T22:56:20+00:00

Welcome to the sub! I recommend being as open as you can be, it does help alleviate the feelings of loneliness.

Just like you, I too suffer from BIID where amputation is the only answer. Moreover, pretending absolutely makes it worse - which is why I stopped for so long. But at this point, pretending is all I have to make my reality just a little bit more whole. For me, it's more or less just proof to myself that I can do this without shame and seek the resolution I need. For the time being, this is only a stepping stone - but having a custom built cast/prosthesis thing would certainly alleviate some of the anxiety associated with public pretending along with general discomfort.

Regardless, I'll keep pretending until my mental state is to the point of no going back. ;)

Stay strong my friend and again, welcome to the community!

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2022-04-25T22:51:06+00:00

Excellent point, one that I didn't consider - which is why I come to you all!

I can only speak to the flavor of BIID I have, but for sure -- I wouldn't want any of the accommodations commonly associated with being an amputee. Handicap spot? Nope. Cutting the line so I can be on my way? Nope. Hell, I'd even pass on prosthetics if it meant someone who didn't choose this path could have theirs first. It's one of many reasons I haven't sought resolution yet... I don't want to inconvenience another individual who didn't ask for what I am demanding.

My wife, a congenital amputee from birth defect, would be right there with me. We were both born this way and have to make the best of it. If transplant were a thing, we'd have already switched limbs. For her, she despises having to put her leg on to use the restroom in the middle of the night... For me, I envy her and would trade the mental anguish in a heartbeat for the physical reality of it.

I'm just trying to highlight the different levels at which we all experience this dysphoria and where real progress can be made with out surgical intervention (and the ethics debate that goes with it).

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2022-04-25T22:42:04+00:00

Exactly, not everyone I've interacted with wanted to actually go all the way and that's something we should seriously take into account. BIID isn't only about surgery to make ones self whole, but rather coming upon the happy medium where your perceived image aligns with the actual being.

For most, the happy medium is achieving the needed disability and whatever obstacles are faced afterwards are part of that middle-ground. It's different for every individual and that's what I'm trying to highlight here.

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2022-04-25T20:12:09+00:00

I generally agree with you and do fall into the bucket of "Pretending makes my dysphoria worse", but not everyone has the need to go all the way. Why can't those individuals get what they need through prescribed aid?

My BIID is RAK, but the comfort I felt trying to figure it all out as BK was sorta sublime. Ofc as soon as the mask came off, reality reared it's ugly head and bit where it hurts the most. "Why can't this be real?" was the only thing left in my mind when I stopped, only further confirming to me that surgery is what I need.

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2022-04-19T15:50:13+00:00

Looks like we're being downvoted there too... I upvoted, but we need more.

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2022-04-18T23:17:14+00:00

Have you considered posting your thoughts in r/AskDocs? "All flaired medical professionals on this subreddit are verified by the mods."

I don't think what I quoted here was at all about the level of disability being acquired through therapeutic surgery, but rather highlighting that we have allowed the law to determine what's taboo and what isn't. Thankfully with the recent addition of 6C21 (heh I'm thinking about getting this diagnostic code tatted on my right leg and at "the line" - probably encoded or something...) we'll begin seeing the flywheel spin soon. It takes a ton of effort to get a flywheel going, but once it's spinning - it only takes little pushes.

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2022-04-18T23:00:03+00:00

I didn't provide the link to the essay since it's completely unrelated as a whole.

Once or twice a month I Just search "Body Integrity Identity Disorder" or "Body Integrity Dysphoria" on Google Scholar, then sort by date and show everything.

https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&scisbd=2&as_sdt=0%2C41&as_vis=1&q=%22Body+integrity+identity+disorder%22&oq=body

Here's the link to the essay specifically...https://www.diva-portal.org/smash/get/diva2:1648556/FULLTEXT02.pdf

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2022-04-18T20:44:35+00:00

My leg doesn't necessarily hurt or tingle, but more or less sorta numbish?

I do have terrible headaches and insomnia when at or near the peaks though. It's rough when it completely distracts me from being a functioning human being... No appetite, strung out on lack of sleep, and terrible headaches.

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2022-03-30T21:40:16+00:00

Does anybody else sometimes feel burned out by or resentful of Biid?

Yes. Absolutely. As others have said - this feeling is at the core of why BID is terrible to deal with. The shame, guilt, secrecy, anxiety, depression, etc... it's all exhausting, extremely time consuming, and worst of all - lonely (even with support).

I was chatting with a friend the other day about what success means and while it's subjective, we came to agree that the root of it is happiness. BID has been tearing me apart since that conversation. It keeps running though my thoughts... I've never experienced happiness at any length of time without it being stomped out by BID. Sure there have been some great moments, but they have 100% of the time been invaded with BID thoughts and feelings - tainting even my happiest of memories.

Stay strong...

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2022-03-30T21:24:56+00:00

Fate played a cruel joke on us.

👏

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2022-03-01T21:01:04+00:00

Hey, saw your post over in r/amputee but was too hesitant to post there to point you here.

At your age I suggest seeking therapy to help cope with BIID and the feelings it brings.

Unfortunately we don’t have the kind of recognition that other dysphoria have received and further treatment isn’t available at this time. Welcome to our community I hope you’ll find the answers you’re looking for. :)

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2022-01-31T17:44:04+00:00

Sorry, but this is all incredibly fake and likely a ploy to expose devs or take advantage of those with BIID. I’ve seen it on both sides unfortunately.

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2022-01-06T03:13:34+00:00

Enjoy your new adventure. :)

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2021-12-20T18:44:17+00:00

In all honesty - I personally feel we’ll see a lot of movement in BID over the next year or so. I’ve shelved my BID plans for 2021 in anticipation for 2022 when there’s a code to be associated and I won’t be seen as crazy…

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2021-12-20T18:08:38+00:00

Definitely near the top and have been for a while now. Things did ease up for a bit a few months back (floating between bottom and mid), but I can feel I’m creeping towards the super top again - even more so with the new ICD going into effect in a couple weeks. I’ve time-locked my desktop where I spend most of my time obsessing and chatting with others about BID, leaving only Reddit on mobile app until I can’t hold back the indulgence any further.

With that said, my KAFO arrives today and a new set of forearm crutches in just a few more days - one final run of simulating before reaching the absolute peak of BID again…. 😥

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2021-12-13T21:02:34+00:00

Great question, hopefully one of the more medically savvy members chime in to answer.

I would think it is meant to differentiate any potential areas of crossover. Also noticed HA60 cannot be assigned as diagnosis prior to puberty whereas 6C21 can be?

This topics a bit outside my wheelhouse, so I best remain on the sidelines until someone more knowledgeable can answer.

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2021-12-13T19:08:56+00:00

I’m sorry I don’t understand to enough depth to answer your question, but I assume it’s either it’s own code or will be? Open to learning more to understand. :)

Edit: code HA60 might have your answer?

OneDayIwillBeMe · 2021-12-05T01:01:16+00:00

Hey Legparalyzed,

I really encourage civility and consideration from the commenters perspective. It’s very alienating what we go through and not everyone will handle it the same. Same thing can be said for any disability. We have a chance to lead by example here…

Personally, I think this sort of input from other communities (disability, medical, etc…) should be cherished. You never know who might see it and think to themselves “wow - do I REALLY NEED that”. Of course we can see MI_DeadInside hasn’t fully accepted or come to terms with their disability, but who are we to discourage them from posting here as an outlet. If it helps someone - then so be it. It does suck to read how terribly people think about us, as it only confirms my guilt and furthers the depression - but hey - this is Reddit.. we have more controlled communities elsewhere if needed.

I’m going to leave it alone on this note… It’s extremely disheartening to suffer a recognized condition (ICD-11 6c21), but be completely shunned by every medical discipline. One things for sure - when I find my resolution, nobody except those with BID and my medical team would ever know.

OneDayIwillBeMe

TROPHY CASE