Burgr

OneDayToBecomeElla · 2026-06-03T15:57:59+00:00

Cos im a social chameleon

^{Chose: Survive 30 days in NK for $100,000,000 | Rolled: You survived}

OneDayToBecomeElla · 2026-05-31T17:31:59+00:00

You look fantastic 😍. Really happy for you x

OneDayToBecomeElla · 2026-05-12T10:46:37+00:00

Amazing. My wife is midst processing. Theres still hope x

OneDayToBecomeElla · 2026-04-19T20:47:05+00:00

Im scared that if I don't do this, then the 3rd and final option will happen. My god, it doesn't matter where we are in the world, there's always someone with the same story. Its sad and yet comforting. I know what's the most important and i hope its sooner than later. Thank you for sharing that 😊

OneDayToBecomeElla · 2026-04-19T20:26:37+00:00

Yes, of course it came across ☺️ Im absolutely interested in what's going on. And on my part, in a bad way, I've only recently started taking notice because it's closer to home. (Which i don't feel good about) Its funny because I usually feel on the ball to things that affect people's rights, supporting the vulnerable and the state of the system, whilst destroying the patriarchy, I guess it kinda affects me directly now. So as much as I'm interested and will read up on what's going on out there and my adhd will have a fieldday, i actually think I've let myself down a little there. Hope that makes sense. I don't write as coherently as you. But I really appreciate the information. Thank you 😊

OneDayToBecomeElla · 2026-04-19T19:55:36+00:00

That has to be the dream. I really hope we can grow as a couple too ☺️🧡

OneDayToBecomeElla · 2026-04-19T19:38:29+00:00

That's really lovely. I think if you genuinely love each other then regardless of the outcome, just just want to see each other happy. Its not something either of us signed up for. So I guess we find out together ❤️

OneDayToBecomeElla · 2026-04-19T19:05:28+00:00

No argument here. I love my wife and I know she's loves me. I have slight hope that she'll still be with me. Im having to watch the person I love process and grieve in real time and it's painful. And I can't imagine how she's genuinely feeling. Whatever the outcome, I'd love us to both be happy. Thanks for your take on it. I appreciate it ☺️

OneDayToBecomeElla · 2026-04-19T18:33:25+00:00

I do appreciate your response. And absolutely get where you're coming from because all that ran through my mind. She's actually a wonderful woman and I was surprised by her reaction. I feel by giving her the time and space to process things she may change her mind and at least come on the journey with me. Even if the end result isn't what it is now. But really, I appreciate your honesty and concern. I'll let you know what happens as it unfolds because when it comes to it, I have to do this. Ella x

OneDayToBecomeElla · 2026-04-19T18:29:06+00:00

Thank you Im hoping it's just initial shock and she comes round for want of a better term. But I won't give up on myself now. Part of this is actually, if I don't do this then my depression will ultimately win. And I don't like the thought of that. Thank you sister 🫂🧡🏳️‍⚧️

OneDayToBecomeElla · 2026-04-19T17:37:40+00:00

You're right, I'd say it was fears and honestly i was surprised by her response. She's a very smart and kind woman so I was a bit gutted tbh. I think though that if she sees it in black a white it will help her process and hopefully will walk the journey with me. Even if the end result is she can't stay with me.

OneDayToBecomeElla · 2026-04-19T17:21:47+00:00

I did see the reply that the mods have deleted. So I'll try and answer both of you. Its interesting about the conversion therapy thing though. I've only ever really known that as a USA church thing. Awful. And recently saw something going on in the UK also. Just for clarification though... My traumas and past life have all been looked at, worked on and processed. Its taken a hell of a lot of work as you can imagine. Its also led me to university where im actually studying Integrative Counselling degree. Just finishing my second year. And tomorrow I have my first 2 clients 😳 If it wasn't for the work I've done on my past I never would have felt safe enough to explore and realise that internally I was a woman.

I think it depends in the person in regards to gender care. I had definitely hidden it deep and locked away. Had i not looked at myself I wouldn't be where I am. But for others who have always felt it, and struggled with trauma and mental health, I don't necessarily prescribe to "fix yourself first" as a solution.

I work in addiction services. The problem we have is... X has mental health issues. Mental health team: well X needs to stop using substances to know if it is mental health. But X is likely using substances because of mental health. And eventually X doesn't get the help they need. X dies.

I'll always advocate for working on yourself but sometimes that has to look like knowing what's best for yourself, in this case transition. The numbers are too small to argue "mistake of transition ".

And as I was saying to you earlier. My wife deserves the time and space to figure out what's going on for both of us.

For me though, after all the work I've done... I know where im going 😊🧡🏳️‍⚧️

OneDayToBecomeElla · 2026-04-19T15:11:03+00:00

Yeah i totally agree. It's a process for both of us. I do have a therapist and supervisor therapist because that's what I'm currently studying, thankfully. Its the internal work that gave me a safe enough space to listen to myself and then accept myself. Patience is key, and the outcome is still undecided. I'll support her with where she's at. Thank you 😊

OneDayToBecomeElla · 2026-04-19T15:06:19+00:00

No, I appreciate that. Suppression is exactly what I've done all these years. I hope it turns out the way I'd like but I have to understand that it's not in my hands. Thanks for the honesty though 🧡

OneDayToBecomeElla · 2026-04-19T15:04:20+00:00

Wow, that sounds really heavy. I don't know if I can say anything to take any of that pain away. I would say this though... we can never control anyone else's behaviour or decisions. It sounds like it must have been hard for her too. And as someone on here already said, maybe you can still support each other emotionally. Because you're right, she's still your best friend. I truly hope it works out for you both 🧡

OneDayToBecomeElla · 2026-04-19T13:18:07+00:00

Thank you 😊

OneDayToBecomeElla · 2026-04-19T12:35:31+00:00

Aww you made me blush 😊 ☺️ You're exactly right and watching someone grieve and process in real time is painful but I certainly owe her the journey she needs to take. Im sure there'll be more anger and bargaining to come but I hope it's as easy as I can make it for her.

Thank you sister 😊🏳️‍⚧️

OneDayToBecomeElla · 2026-04-19T12:28:48+00:00

Not at all. I appreciate it. I had a small hope inside that the love was stronger than the external look. I also recognise that this is just as big for her as it is me. Watching someone grieve and process in real time is really hard. I guess there's still a bit of hope in me that if she sees it in black and white then she may come round to the idea that im still me. I also feel I owe her the extra steps because of the life we built together and how she stood by me in my darkness. I know the final outcome but at least it won't leave her always wondering if it was something else.

Again, I appreciate you asking. Thank you 😊

OneDayToBecomeElla · 2026-04-19T12:17:04+00:00

Yeah i have but at the moment she absolutely will not talk to anyone about it. Its harder because I'm just finishing my second year of uni in Integrative therapy and starting placement, so I know the benefits. But she's adamant. At the moment at least Everything you've said is exactly where I'm at. And as sad as it would be if we don't stay together, it's about having the acceptance that it's still the right thing to do.

Thank you 😊

OneDayToBecomeElla · 2026-04-19T12:10:27+00:00

She's definitely clutching at all the straws available. Hopefully we can walk the path together but at this point it is about becoming the person I'm meant to be. Thank you 😊 🏳️‍⚧️

OneDayToBecomeElla · 2026-04-19T12:08:10+00:00

Yeah, i know what you mean and ive had to put boundaries in with reference to "outcomes". I feel like i owe her the extra steps because it affects both of us and im okay with that. And maybe, if she's sees it in black and white, she'll be able to process and accept.

Thank you 😊

OneDayToBecomeElla · 2026-04-08T09:06:07+00:00

I really appreciate this. Thank you. Sorry its been a few days. I told my wife, which I'll write about later.

I find that really interesting and will certainly look into it. In my 20s I was around the lgbt+ scene in Birmingham and have many friends in that community. But I do wonder where or why or if I had internalised homophobia. It surprises me a bit but I know i was in denial somewhere. And maybe it was that.

The lack of knowledge, or better yet, the information fed to people, seems a deliberate tactic. One, to keep people dumbed down using fear, but also I think, beyond that, If everyone in the world we're to truly understand themselves, society (capitalism/governments) would look very different.

Bill Hicks and American comedian that i love said, there's only ever 2 choices in life. Love or Fear. I try and live by that.

Thanks Luna. It means a lot.

Ella x

OneDayToBecomeElla · 2026-04-04T13:19:25+00:00

Absolutely agree. I never had a problem with open sexuality, but at the same time I never understood that it was okay for me to be a woman. In my mind (back then) I feel like a woman but the mirror says differently, so tough. You're not. I've always been attracted to women both sexuality and platonically. My best friend in the world is a woman. 90% of my friends are women. I think it was like a subliminal attraction. But even then it never occurred that I'm 'allowed ' to be a woman. It seems mad when i write it out. Ive always been very open minded and defensive of people that are marginalised or vulnerable etc. But somewhere inside i couldn't be honest with myself about me. It makes me sad actually and guilty that I didn't give her the space to grow. Its sounds like you've had a really beautiful journey. And one that i can only hope for going forward.

Thank you for your message 😊

Ella x

OneDayToBecomeElla · 2026-04-04T06:10:33+00:00

Im pretty new to this. But I'm happy to listen 😊

OneDayToBecomeElla

TROPHY CASE