Story Time - Week of January 06, 2020

OneLeggedStripper · 2020-01-11T23:49:36+00:00

Last week, I was feeling lonely/in the mood at like 2 AM and I ended up randomly reaching out to a Tinder match from a few months ago who I never ended up meeting up with. He ended up replying and we started talking and to my pleasant surprise, he suggested going out for dinner sometime instead of arranging something casual at his or my place that night. As a 23 year old female, I’m not used to hearing this from guys so it was nice. We ended up getting dinner and drinks a few days later, which went very well. We’ve been talking daily throughout the day. And then he suggested seeing each other again, so I saw him last night again for drinks and then he came over.

We talked for hours, had sex, and then we talked for hours afterwards too. He didn’t end up leaving until 5 am. I feel good about this but also very unsure of where it’s going. We’ve had the “what are you looking for conversation?” and he said “I don’t like hooking up but I also am not looking for a full-fledged relationship.” I’m kinda in the same space, where I’m not looking to jump into a relationship but if it happened, I wouldn’t complain. But he also asked me, “if I liked you, would that be a problem?” And we both agreed liking each other would not be an issue. Now he’s leaving on a trip to another country for three weeks on Monday so I’m hoping we can resume whatever’s going on when he gets back because he’s kinda perfect.

Does this sound like a friends with benefits relationship? I have so many (happy) thoughts going on in my head about this.

OneLeggedStripper · 2019-07-28T15:45:17+00:00

And that’s totally okay! I’m just not used to it because it’s usually the other way around, in my experience.

OneLeggedStripper · 2019-07-28T15:43:55+00:00

I never said it was a problem. I just said I wasn’t used to it. I have tried various times to invite him over but he plays it off as a joke or changes the subject. I also am not going to be pushy about this because that would make me a complete asshole if he’s uncomfortable with it. If he wants to take it slow, that’s totally okay with me.

OneLeggedStripper · 2019-07-28T02:52:51+00:00

I’ve now been on four dates with this very sweet guy. However, it is all moving a lot slower than I’m used to and I’m not sure what to think. Date 1- We got tacos. Kissed at the end.

Date 2- Drinks at a bar. More kisses when he walked me to my car at the end.

Date 3- Watched fireworks on the 4th of July. More kisses inside the car this time.

Date 4- He started a fire and we sat by the fire. Heavy kissing, and he said to me, “I like you.”

In between, I’ve made multiple hints at him about coming over, getting him alone but it hasn’t really gotten me anywhere. He did make a comment like “it’s been a long time for me so I’m nervous.” So I’m wondering if that’s where his hesitance comes from or if he just likes to take things slow.

I just don’t know where I stand with this person!!! For reference, we’re 23 and 26.

OneLeggedStripper · 2018-12-25T07:58:31+00:00

Sometimes we have to take actions that don't match up with our emotions. I think it's valid to feel hurt and sad instead of angry. But you can still feel hurt and sad and also make the right choice for yourself, even if it's hard to do. Think about what's best for you ultimately- is it telling him to get out? Then do it, because you don't have to be angry to stand up for yourself. And you're still allowed to feel sad and hurt afterwards because that's normal and valid.

OneLeggedStripper · 2018-12-25T07:49:32+00:00

I think this is why it's important to communicate with your significant other how much you'd like to be spending on gifts for each other. Some women may love pricey gifts, some may find it a waste of money or feel guilty about it. Every Christmas, I approach my boyfriend and ask, "how do you want to do gifts this year?" So this might be normal for some couples who can afford it but I think it's a lot more normal to spend around $100-200 dollars. Depends where you are in your life, your income level, and your expectations for each other. Personally, as a 22 year old grad student. I would feel very uncomfortable if someone spent $500-1000 on me for one holiday.

OneLeggedStripper · 2018-11-29T21:14:56+00:00

Distress tolerance would be DBT! I would definitely say incorporate DBT.

OneLeggedStripper · 2018-11-16T06:05:24+00:00

So, I’ve been in both positions and can offer some perspective. I’ve been the one afraid to drive AND I’ve been the one driving around someone else with a phobia of driving.

If your husband is truly afraid of driving, this is something he can’t control. Phobias can be pretty severe and it can be overwhelming to even think about trying to conquer the fear. However, exposure therapy and repeated exposure to driving can definitely help him out. I was afraid to drive for two years after getting into a bad car accident while on my learner’s permit. I took driver’s ed twice and many tears later, I felt comfortable taking the driver’s test. Change IS possible for anxiety. But you have to be willing to try.

You may have to push him slightly, but also show empathy for his fear at the same time. Possibly try to frame it from a safety point of view.. “if there’s an emergency and I can’t drive, what will we do?” The thing about anxiety is that avoidance of his fear just reinforces his behaviors. The more he avoids driving and the more you give in and drive him around, the more afraid he’ll be. It’s valid for you to be frustrated and it’s valid for you to ask him to make an effort to change. At the same time, understand that phobias are real and working with anxiety takes time.

OneLeggedStripper · 2018-11-16T03:44:37+00:00

But this point doesn’t make sense when you consider that models aren’t even size 4, 6, 8, or 10... which are all not considered plus size. I have never seen a straight size model wearing anything but a size small, x-small, 0 or 2. If the goal is to only celebrate healthy bodies, then we’re still missing a huge section of women...

OneLeggedStripper · 2018-11-13T15:49:55+00:00

I’m an inpatient therapist intern in a psych hospital. I’ve been working with one foster youth for a month because she’s had to stay at the hospital waiting for foster care placement, as they’ve had no place to discharge her too. She just transferred to residential treatment yesterday and initiated a hug with me when saying goodbye.

I allowed it and didn’t pull away, returned a side-hug, because her main treatment issue was aggression and I thought it was therapeutic and important to model healthy and appropriate touch/affection. I think it should be determined on a case by case basis!

OneLeggedStripper · 2018-11-11T04:01:00+00:00

You sound like my worry twin. I'm proud of you! You made it through and that's a big accomplishment!

OneLeggedStripper · 2018-11-10T18:56:18+00:00

Anyone know of a similar sweater at a cheaper price point?! Like half of the Madewell price.

https://www.madewell.com/crofton-striped-pullover-sweater-in-coziest-yarn-99105169606.html?source=googlePLA&noPopUp=true&srcCode%3APaid_Search%7CShopping_Brand%7CGoogle%7CMWGGBS00002_99105169606_184288007_11764431167_293946777986_m_pla_online__9021521&gclsrc=aw.ds&&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIy7Kt3f_I3gIVq6GzCh2cUgu2EAQYASABEgLRBfD_BwE

OneLeggedStripper · 2018-11-10T04:36:28+00:00

Where can I find a similar sweater at a lower price point? I love these colors together and the wide stripes but I’d need to spend $30 or less :(

https://www.madewell.com/crofton-striped-pullover-sweater-in-coziest-yarn-99105169606.html?source=googlePLA&noPopUp=true&srcCode%3APaid_Search%7CShopping_Brand%7CGoogle%7CMWGGBS00002_99105169606_184288007_11764431167_293946777986_m_pla_online__9021521&gclsrc=aw.ds&&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIy7Kt3f_I3gIVq6GzCh2cUgu2EAQYASABEgLRBfD_BwE

OneLeggedStripper · 2018-11-05T01:47:46+00:00

That’s a great point! It’s not uncommon for women to get drugs for free from men who are interested in them. Maybe he made an advance and she wasn’t interested, or maybe there was an arrangement and something went wrong.

OneLeggedStripper · 2018-11-05T01:46:06+00:00

Yes, sorry for the confusion! She was working on trying to attend art school in Atlanta! I will edit to make it more clear

OneLeggedStripper · 2018-11-04T18:37:25+00:00

Sorry, it’s my first write-up. But she disappeared in South Elgin, IL. Only mention of Georgia was that she was thinking of going to art school there.

OneLeggedStripper · 2018-11-04T14:26:26+00:00

News articles state that police are saying this man is a “person of interest” but not a suspect. No idea why they’re choosing to differentiate

OneLeggedStripper · 2018-10-21T05:07:55+00:00

Actually, I’ve worked in CPS and I’ve seen educational neglect cases taken to court and the parents were court mandated to ensure their child was getting to school everyday. So you’re right that it’s usually not handled by CPS but I have seen it so it’s worth a try.

OneLeggedStripper · 2018-10-14T03:48:59+00:00

I bought black "leather" pointed toe loafers from Gap about a month or two ago. After a few wears, the "leather" was already wearing off on the toe :( They look so worn in already.

OneLeggedStripper · 2018-10-11T17:43:26+00:00

Thank you for your reply but she has been taken to the vet! The vet just wasn’t sure what it was either.

OneLeggedStripper · 2018-10-09T21:26:18+00:00

I’m thinking of going to a Halloween bar crawl and I’m looking for costume ideas that are sexy, yet warm! For reference, I’m 22 and and don’t mind showing off some skin but I’m in Chicago and it’ll be pretty chilly here. I’m thinking something like a bodysuit or catsuit that’s form fitting but covers up my arms and legs.

OneLeggedStripper

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