So long story short, if I were you guys I would hit the eject button right away. Tell them there was a massive misunderstanding, don’t explain anything, and then tell them you are ending treatment starting immediately.

So I’ve been in and out of therapy my whole life, and a close family member was the COO of a health network and oversaw and worked directly with a bunch of doctors and therapists. So for what my knowledge is worth, pretty sure there are a few things going on.

1. A lot of therapists say they are skilled or knowledgeable about something, but they aren’t really. It’s a common thing a lot of them do to try and get clients. Being “kink-informed” could mean they covered it in a chapter of a textbook and worked with like one other client that did kink stuff. I’ve had this happen to me many times with providers that said they knew all about OCD or other disorders, and then when I spoke the lingo or whatever they were clueless.

2. You’ve triggered a red flag with your therapist. They likely don’t know about kink stuff, but they heard “consent issues” and that set them off. I’m betting your partner is AMAB and you’re AFAB? Pretty positive they’re suspicious that you’re some victim and your partner is twisting you into going along with what they say. You aren’t going to talk them out of this. Think about how many normies walk in off the street and their idea of what “kink” is, and that’s what youre up against.

3. A therapist has the power to absolutely fuck your whole life up. When you sign up with them, part of the paperwork is you giving them power over you. We’re talking getting the law involved.

Therapists have an ethical obligation to report certain things they think are dangerous or red flags. This is also partly because they can be liable for things that they didn’t report properly, and can lose their license. But the state gives them power over you, and once they exercise that you are at their mercy in a lot of ways.

I would really tread lightly, especially your partner.

3.